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My diary of random thoughts

Thread starter #169
My life is literally falling apart. I was set up, mentally struggling....really bad with it, and I cannot pull myself together. It’s just too much. I can’t believe this is all happening. Just falling apart. The headaches, stress, everything is awful. I can’t take it anymore. I am literally a dumbass and I am so screwed. I thought all these good things would happen and they aren’t. Lol! This is crazy. I thought I would have a better life after therapy and with him being out of my life, but it’s not.
 
Thread starter #170
Now my best friend isn’t talking to me because I don’t have romantic feelings for him. This is just all crazy! I am so tired of it. And dumped by the one guy I really liked. All of this stuff is so crazy. I really can’t take it anymore. My life was perfect- no drama or anything before all of this. I was doing well at work. Now I am so afraid of everything, everything is a trigger. ☹️ And things are a bunch of lies. It’s crazy...
 
Thread starter #171
I can’t handle the emotional pain anymore! The pain of everything! I am overwhelmed with emotion and people and stuff and life and I can’t take it anymore! This is why I like being alone and hate it at the same time. How is that even possible! Everything in my mind is a cluster! And I can’t clear it or clear my life. I want to move forward in life not this back and forth shit!
 
Thread starter #172
I am scared. I hate being scared. I hate being like this. I just want out, that’s all I want. I am tired. I am soooo tired. He manipulated me and lied about everything. He lied. I didn’t save the evidence. I didn’t save anything. I used to feel so good about myself, now I feel like crap. I want the feelings to go away. Please, just make them go away. Everyone else has good things happening to them, but not me. I am so tired. I’ve never felt this way before. Please, just make it go away. That’s all I want is for it to go away.
 
Thread starter #173
I’m not crazy like he said. I’m really not. I can’t take this anymore. I really paid the mortgage, the car, everything. I did so much. I was at that house for a long time. It was my house too. I really hope I don’t keep attracting bad men because I can’t take it anymore. I’m so tired. I am exhausted.
 
Thread starter #174
I’m so scared of everything. I hate feeling this way. I feel this way because everything is off. I was set up and not smart enough to see it. My emotions are all over the place. Nothing worked out, and I keep digging myself into a bigger and bigger hole that I can’t get out of.
 
Thread starter #175
I just can’t take the confusion anymore. That all on top of life in general. How is it possible to not know who you are anymore? To lose your identity???? I was never a trouble maker. I never did bad stupid things. I just can’t handle the stress of being charged with domestic violence and trying to meet a man. I can’t take this anymore. It’s so confusing I just want to take my head off and drain all the bad thoughts. I already know I will never get married again because I just do t like the people I am with. It’s also hard to move on like people tell you when you have nothing to move on to. You are such a loser that you have no real friends, and the one best friend you thought you had won’t talk to you because he likes you. 😢😢😢😢
 
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Thread starter #176
I used to be such a strong person with a good heart and good intentions. Now, I am so tired, defeated and overwhelmed. I wish the depression and weirdness would go away. I wish my life was sooo different. This is just insane. I bought so much stuff. I did so many crazy things that it is just not like me at all. None of this is like me. I don’t like feeling this way. I wasn’t like this before. If you saw all of the things I bought, you would not believe it. I have no choice but to live in reality, and reality is not good. It’s depressing. It really is. Especially when you used to feel so good about yourself and your life. Now, it’s like I’m stuck in groundhogs day of depression and anxiety.
 
Thread starter #177
All of you n here that have made changes in your life just completely amaze me. Just astounding! There are so many situations that are worse than mine, but you make it through. I can’t take the pressure of this anymore. Being played by dudes and lied to. I am so not happy, and every time I try anything out of the ordinary, it backfires in my face, yet I crave so much more out of life. The only thing I know is that I am not happy anymore. I used to feel amazing! It was all him. He made me feel that way, but the therapist tells me he is a psycho, so now I know I won’t be happy. It’s really hard not to ha e all or nothing thinking when you grew to love the life you had and it was ripped out of your hands. And, you lost your mind. Ugh!!!! This is awful! I can’t take it anymore. What is real and what isn’t???? Makes me so confused. Stupid things like who am I? What is better? Why am I so dumb and naive??? I can’t take it anymore 😢 The anxiety is because my life is going nowhere and I am not happy.
 
Thread starter #179
I'm sorry I don't know your story, your trauma but we can get better. We can by identifying what's going on with us and breaking it down. Please don't give up now, you are strong and brave surviving all that you did. Please go easy on yourself.
It’s really hard to be easy on yourself when you know that you are not ok and you just need to move on. I am a “nice” person. I was manipulated and screwed over so bad and then babied by others. My dreams all went to hell. I used to feel so good about myself, now, if I do stick up for myself I feel like a bitch. Black and white. Everything. I am so unaware of everything so now everyone hates me, but no one understands what I went through and I lost my goddamn mind. I can’t take it anymore. My punishment for life is being alone. Because I did t listen to him, I ha e to be alone. Because I feel so effed up, I have to be alone. Because my life went to shit, I have to be alone. Alone! Alone! Alone!!!!!
 
Thread starter #180
I feel like the entire world lied to me. They told me things would get better, but they haven’t. When your whole marriage was a lie, and no one believed you and you were arrested, it’s hard to stand up for yourself. He lied about so many things. He set me up because I was a nice person, now I’m so screwed. It’s hard to meet people and it’s hard to accept the reality that better is not going to happen. Meds, therapy, just nothing has worked. I was duped and fooled and now I can’t get out. All this crap about emotional abuse. No one cares. The world doesn’t care. I am so screwed. How I feel doesn’t matter. But I can’t get rods of the depression or bad feelings. Just reject after reject after reject.
 
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