After 13 1/2 years to the date, my husband, diagnosed with PTSD 1 1/2 yrs. ago, packed his truck and dune buggy with what he could, met and signed the legal separation papers, said good-bye to my kids and I, and left for his bothers, 4 states away. He told me 4 days earlier that he was moving out, the morning after a wonderful night together. Then the night before he left he informed me he had put in a 2 week notice and his brother had gotten him a job with him in that state.
I and my grown children were devastated! The reasons he gave were not enough to leave for I told him. He said he wanted to get his crap together, in his words. I begged him to reconsider. I made promises and apologized for any wrongs I had done. but he said he felt he had to do this. He said he didn't want to hurt me or himself anymore. At times in the discussion he brought up the lack of hugs I gave, or me telling him that he is making distance in our relationship etc.
His PTSD is from his terrible childhood. He would tell you that until me no one had really showed him love. We had had an awesome marriage and family life up to 3 yrs. ago when he started showing signs. In between episodes our love and all we did together was what every couple wants to have. There was your typical "never enough time" issues but never would I have believed this would happen! I have prided myself on being a loving and supportive wife. I researched things that might help and went 2 all therapies appointments. I have never put him down yet in the episodes this and other untruths are some of what he really believes.
You see this has been the longest episode yet, 2 months. During this time his frustration had turned to blaming me at times, even claiming this to others, to taking the blame himself. He would cry asking why could the episode not end. I think he thinks it is maybe me that causes his episodes. His meds were doubled and thyroid raised. Then he started lowering his Ptsd meds. From 200 mg. to 25mgs. in 2 weeks. He plans to quit completely.
Please someone help me. I don't know if he will come back to us but I would rather have him than not. I am trying to just get through each moment! I can't believe he is gone! How can a man leave a good woman that adores every inch of his body and have always proven this. I was only distant to some degree while he was in his episodes for the obvious reasons. His therapist agreed with my description of him during these..."a robot of my husband without a soul", but she did tell him he is still responsible for his actions. Every other time he got out of his episodes he would have terrible headaches and then he would cry, apologize, kiss me again and again, smile with tears dripping, say how much he loved me and hug and kiss me again. I want to be mad at him for leaving his family but at the same time I do understand him. I always was so loving and always forgave him and said it will all be OK. I want him to be able to forgive himself for this too. I don't know how long an episode could even last.
I and my grown children were devastated! The reasons he gave were not enough to leave for I told him. He said he wanted to get his crap together, in his words. I begged him to reconsider. I made promises and apologized for any wrongs I had done. but he said he felt he had to do this. He said he didn't want to hurt me or himself anymore. At times in the discussion he brought up the lack of hugs I gave, or me telling him that he is making distance in our relationship etc.
His PTSD is from his terrible childhood. He would tell you that until me no one had really showed him love. We had had an awesome marriage and family life up to 3 yrs. ago when he started showing signs. In between episodes our love and all we did together was what every couple wants to have. There was your typical "never enough time" issues but never would I have believed this would happen! I have prided myself on being a loving and supportive wife. I researched things that might help and went 2 all therapies appointments. I have never put him down yet in the episodes this and other untruths are some of what he really believes.
You see this has been the longest episode yet, 2 months. During this time his frustration had turned to blaming me at times, even claiming this to others, to taking the blame himself. He would cry asking why could the episode not end. I think he thinks it is maybe me that causes his episodes. His meds were doubled and thyroid raised. Then he started lowering his Ptsd meds. From 200 mg. to 25mgs. in 2 weeks. He plans to quit completely.
Please someone help me. I don't know if he will come back to us but I would rather have him than not. I am trying to just get through each moment! I can't believe he is gone! How can a man leave a good woman that adores every inch of his body and have always proven this. I was only distant to some degree while he was in his episodes for the obvious reasons. His therapist agreed with my description of him during these..."a robot of my husband without a soul", but she did tell him he is still responsible for his actions. Every other time he got out of his episodes he would have terrible headaches and then he would cry, apologize, kiss me again and again, smile with tears dripping, say how much he loved me and hug and kiss me again. I want to be mad at him for leaving his family but at the same time I do understand him. I always was so loving and always forgave him and said it will all be OK. I want him to be able to forgive himself for this too. I don't know how long an episode could even last.
