Seeliesoul
New Here
Hi guys,
sharing something in an online group feels a bit scary, but I hope it's a good idea nonetheless.
I am 28, and I am suffering from CPTSD due to childhood stuff. I am in therapy, and attended some psychology courses at university, but the progress feels so slow. Meds don't work at all. I am plagued by depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, panic attacks, sleep disturbances, nightmares, flashbacks, draining hyper-arousal, and chronic pain in the stomach area, that is activated whenever I eat something and that still puzzles the medical experts I have visited. Very often, I feel utterly exhausted, mentally and physically, and I am scared of losing the fight against my demons, like my vicious inner critic. It seems like the more I learn about psychology etc., the more sophisticated my demons become. My mind does not feel Like a safe place, but like a battlefield full of re-traumatising agents, armed with emotional triggers. Healing...feels like an impossible task.
And most people have no idea what you are talking about, when you try to open up about the symptomps of PTSD. After sharing my feelings, I often end up feeling even more lonely and ashamed than before, due to the other person's cold response or corrective advice, like: "You should ... You must... Stop being... Simply be..."
Perhabs some of you have made similar experiences, and found a way to cope..
sharing something in an online group feels a bit scary, but I hope it's a good idea nonetheless.
I am 28, and I am suffering from CPTSD due to childhood stuff. I am in therapy, and attended some psychology courses at university, but the progress feels so slow. Meds don't work at all. I am plagued by depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, panic attacks, sleep disturbances, nightmares, flashbacks, draining hyper-arousal, and chronic pain in the stomach area, that is activated whenever I eat something and that still puzzles the medical experts I have visited. Very often, I feel utterly exhausted, mentally and physically, and I am scared of losing the fight against my demons, like my vicious inner critic. It seems like the more I learn about psychology etc., the more sophisticated my demons become. My mind does not feel Like a safe place, but like a battlefield full of re-traumatising agents, armed with emotional triggers. Healing...feels like an impossible task.
And most people have no idea what you are talking about, when you try to open up about the symptomps of PTSD. After sharing my feelings, I often end up feeling even more lonely and ashamed than before, due to the other person's cold response or corrective advice, like: "You should ... You must... Stop being... Simply be..."
Perhabs some of you have made similar experiences, and found a way to cope..