My Sleeplessness

[Bye]

its becomeing the norm,,, wake up confused and foggy ,, what was real and what is real,, it's different themes but the characters are different,,, it usually involves some kind of action like moving through the decks of a rusted out ship,, cave,, deciding forest,, but the activity is the dead people I've seen and sometimes we are trying to find our way and other times their trying to kill me because their mad I didn't get them back, cpr, house fire, car wreck, funeral it gets really weird ,, the tuff ones are the ones who popped open from being burned,, they want help carrying their insides,, I won't even bring up the babies or little kids,, I'll just say not on my worst enemy,,,after some coffee and listening to my wife the fog starts to clear and I can start packing the loose ends up in my mind for tonight and I try to do something for today,,,it's takes me from around ten to twelve thrity to get it together,,, I don't feel very employable ,,,I have no idea what I'm going to do,,, twenty nine years riding an engine and being 9-11,, to a blop, useless

 

[Bloomy]

Do you know about dream analyse? Seems to me your dreams are not weird, but simply trying their best to get a message through to you. That the house is burning is a strong message they want to be heard and hopefully understood.

I belive you can do something and I belive it will take time. Just start somewhere thats the most important and I belive to start with your dreams and what they try to tell you is what seems to be of most importance right now.

Also want to add - if this dreams comes from you being a war veteran I think to accept instead of flee no matter how painful or tough is what will get you trough.

Had loads of crazy nightmares and its been to only way for me personally to finally be able to sleep quite well at night.

 

[Mytime]

I do hope your in therapy. I believe you need to do some processing of the calls you have experience. Once you have processed, the feelings can be less intense. Welcome to the forum:)

 

[Seasounds]

Needing to take hours in the morning to recover from the nightmares is no fun. I'm glad you have your wife to 'ground' and re-establish safety to being in the present.

I can offer you hope; I worked through aweful nightmare, layer after layer. The process that worked for me was a combination of things-see the following items that are mixed with my learnings and suggestions:

• By doing 30 minutes of mindfulness meditation a day, (of gently noticing my breath, my pulse throughout my body, or noticing sensations throughout my body, while sitting with my eyes closed or while walking-silently, by myself in a park) I became more able to relate to and express my feelings related to the nightmares.
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• The mindfulness meditation and the relaxation that develops 'makes space' for feelings to arise, like letting of steam. You may or may not notice it in the moment, and or mymay notice it during the day. By being in touch with your body on a gentle level, gentle sensations and feelings begin to emerge. These are little steps of the nightmares disapating
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• It takes time to work through the layers. And it takes a community of safe people to 'hold the space for you to do this work-people (wife, therapist, friends, 12 step groups-even if you are not an adult child of alcoholics, this group is open to anyone and ther gently deal with trauma issues). Notice who you relax with, where and who you drop into your feelings with.
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• Make sure you have a therapist who, you notice, by being in their their presense, that you drop into your feelings, and that the therapist does not change the topic, but instead hangs out with you and gives you compassion when you do feel feelings.
• My job involved dealing with people in trauma, so most of my co-workers were very emotionally guarded-as the job requires. I found a couple of like-minded souls, but ..
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• In order to do the emotional work with confidentiality I gravitated to 12 step groups-ACA (Adult Child Of Alcoholics) and Alanon (dealing with feelings of interpersonal relationships-which was a safe place to relate to feelings)
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• it takes time to feel comfortable in these crowds; it helped me to find a couple people I could relate to, until I felt more at home. Like speaking to your wife, these group provided a safe connection after feeling traumatized by my nightmares.
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• Definitely, sharing my nightmares and related feelings with a therapist and in groups helped me release the traumas.
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• Grounding techniques, as hippie as they sound, helped me. Imagining the earth's energy coming into the soles of my feet for a minute a day m, regularly, really showed that it helped after I did it for a couple of months. As a friend who new physics said, "creating to a neutral energy source allows a person to create a more neutral world."
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• Making time to find enjoyable moments and ways to laugh, help expand your emotional experience beyond the nightmares and your daily activities..
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• Being in nature helped bring me a sense a peace.
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• I needed to use medication so that I could get at least a total (after waking up once or twice) of 6 hours sleep a night. Not getting enough sleep throws me into worse depression than I already have.
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• Reading trauma related books helped me. I like Vand der Kolk's writings, and I believe this forum am has a resource/reading list.
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• I can encourage you to be gentle with yourself, be patient, and do what seems within your comfort and financial abilities, after taking in others' ideas, in the end, listen to and act on what you, your body, and your intuition, guide you toward. They will be your unique guide out of the storm.

:hug:

 

[Friday]

When I'm in nightmare cycles it takes me about 3 hours to "wake up" out of them in the beginning.

Hitting the part about routines? You nailed it. I can't do anything about my actual nightmares (although some people take prazoin, which works for some people to create dreamless sleep), but I can start moving my routine around the next morning to start shortening the recovery time from them.

For myself a hot shower to wake up & then hitting the trails / lake / gym for some kind of PT / exercise, then home for another hot shower & dressing, works best. When I'm sick/injured keeping that hot shower and then doing something that takes concentration is a distant second, but also better than nothing. Whatever it is, getting a routine down that helps pull me out of my symptoms? Is just vital.

I don't like working out first thing in the morning. I prefer to work out at night after the kids are in bed, then have a lazy hot shower / dry my hair / routine to bed. So I invariably switch back to that once I'm out of a nightmare cycle. But the trade off when I'm all ugh & foggy & half here // changing my preferred routine around so I don't lose half the day (hours to climb outta the nonsense in my head, then hours beating myself up feeling guilty about how f*cking useless I am) is absolutely worth it.

 

[Bye]

Needing to take hours in the morning to recover from the nightmares is no fun. I'm glad you have your wi...

Thank you,,

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Nightmares are an issue for me as well at the moment.

I see my therapist every two weeks, and he regularly asks me about nightmares. The themes are important and reveal what's happening in your subconscious of which you have no control.

At the moment, I'm working to create a "safe place" in my home where I can retreat when needed. It takes me quite a while to fully grasp that it was a nightmare.

Because of the nature of my dreams, I've switched my sleeping location and now leave a low light on. I read something easy and completely unrelated before falling asleep. I have a grounding tool within reach that I can pick up if needed, as well as a water bottle. I also take melatonin which helps me to fall asleep. Doesn't stop the dreams or keeps me asleep, but does help reduce the fear of falling sleep.

I've been sleeping in my living room for a week or so now, and so far it's been more restful than my bedroom. Strange but true.

My real routine for the mornings has to be put on hold. I have to be functional as I have young children to get on the bus. Once I'm back in the house, I tend to operate on auto pilot for a while before my mind can even begin to process the night.

It'll get better. Just takes time.