Relationship My Vet: Combat Ptsd & Tbi. Told Me He Loved Me Then Went "dark"

[Sighs]

@Celia82 - "He's just not that into you... because he's already married?"

 

[Weemie]

it's taken me a long time to know this about myself, but when things seem too real i bolt. it's cliche, like how could it take so long for me to figure that out, right? we see the chick who bolts at commitment all the time on tv.

but it's stress. it's expectations, it's oh shit they talked now i gotta talk, oh f*ck after months of stability. it's knowing they love you, and knowing you love them, but not ready yet to take that jump and then just saying f*ck it and taking it anyway and things still don't change, it's still f*cking stress, expectations. you know? they will all agree /i'm a suffocator /suffocator /suffocator.

i've learned i'm better at a distance. some people just are. my dad's like that, y'know. he's great when you haven't seen him in ten years. life of the party, love of your life. great, enchanting, mesmerizing. just like me, 'til shit hits the fan and it's day-in-day-out constant struggle, they want to talk to me. they want to know me, they're gonna be mad at me because it's been a week since i've talked but i know they love me, and things were supposed to be different.

so, ya know? don't take it personally, yeah. shit's hard. even good stress is stress, with ptsd. f*cked up, innit?