Name Your Safe Places

[Changing4Best]

Home, friends' apartments, grocery store, library, on the phone with my prayer partner (anywhere!), transport buses, my therapist's office, my friend Dot's car, then in the past were my bedroom as a kid (especially the closet inside of it), sitting up in the front seat of my daddy's truck, the back of the family station wagon, sitting next to mommy at church, and last but not least, the home-made icecream parlor with my husband's and my lawyer, all of us out for a treat. Also some of our favorite restaurants.

 

[The Albatross]

Hmm. Maybe you're onto something Shelia. Maybe I should try to make my safe place "between my two ears" that way I could carry it with me to many places like you seem to do or have been doing.

 

[Changing4Best]

Actually, many of the homes I've lived in I did not feel safe in. One was too close to "the wrong side of the tracks" for me. One was right by the first busstop out of N.Y.C in New Jersey, USA.

When I go to bed at night now, I feel a lot safer when I place the chain lock on my door here. However, for some reason, for the most part, even though my apartment was robbed while I was in the hospital last May, I do feel safe here. I've said far and wide that I have nothing left of value in my apartment to steal, so that "everyone" knows this in this small one-horse-town. Just having done that makes me feel safer for some odd reason. And of course, I now keep all my valuables in a safety deposit box at the bank. Now if I want to wear them though, I have to go and get them out. SIGH...

 

[Changing4Best]

I have pondered this further as to what parts of my home feel safest. MY RECLINER/ ROCKER! This is where I sit to have my morning coffee and where I read my Bible and Devotionals. This is often where I pray. It reminds me of my safest safe place when I was a young child: sitting in my mommy's lap while she rocked me in her rocking chair! The rocking motion is so comforting to me, so safe. Maybe I was rocked in a cradle when I was a baby, and before that we are gently rocked in our mothers' wombs! Also, I love to nap in my recliner with my fleece blanket over me. I sleep there better than in my bed!

Conversely, my bed is NOT a safe place for me. I have had many a nightmare there; beds are where all or most of my life's traumas have taken place. But oddly enough, my comforter, when I wrap myself in it makes me feel safer, not 100% safe, but it helps me feel safe enough to sleep in my bed. Strangely enough, this comforter was given to me after my last trauma, by a charity organization. My bed had been violated by some kid that had moved into the group home I was living in; he'd relieved his sexual desires there while I was out (on my old comforter).

So, this charitable organization called Helping Hands had this comforter and gave it to me. Thank God! I would probably never be able to sleep in any bed again were it not for this simple gift of charity!!! In fact, I don't use a top sheet; I only use the comforter. I hate top sheets (though I do use a fitted sheet under me of course). Top sheets get me all tangled up in them when I sleep and they make me feel all hemmed in and remind me of a straight jacket! I'd almost rather DIE than use a top sheet!!!

So, you see, there are safe places within a safe place, and UNsafe places within that same place too. And yesterday I needed to wash my comforter, so thankfully I had my fleece blanket, the one I use on my recliner, to sleep with. And my dog nestling up to me in bed also makes the bed much safer. She especially loves the fleece blanket and likes to share it with me.

I hope this helps.

 

[Ice_Fire]

My safe places are my car, and the little wooded area by the allotments. Its always quiet there, just the odd dog walker and I can look down and see the whole town.

I don't feel safe at home. Too many people coming and going out of the flats and people who I don't want to see know the code to get in.

 

[Changing4Best]

I can look down and see the whole town.

OOOH! I like that thought. I was up top of the mountains once here, invited to a friend's place for Christmas. What beauty, what fresh air, what delight. It was a warmer day for Christmas than usual and so I sat out there on the chair that was there for enjoying the view. What an incredible feeling it was! I shall never forget it. And the owners who invited me seemed to just take it for granted, sigh.... Anyway, I am happy for you that you have such a wonderful safe place. ENJOY!

 

[Crow]

The safest place is driving in my car. Then the movie theatre. And then on top of Stone Mountain. There's also a meadow I have started running in but that's not always safe feeling - just depends on where I am. My home rarely feels safe though I've felt okay there a few times the past couple of months.

 

[Changing4Best]

I have a PTSD Service Dog. She helps me to be safe in all the places that I have mentioned above. I am not sure if I could have mantioned most of those places were she not with me there. She is with me always, unless I have to be admitted to the hospital (she can accompany me for out patient tests there). So, at the grocery, drug store, church, playground, nature walk, restaurants and so on, I CAN feel safe, all because of her. I did not even think to mention her, as I am so USED to having her with me and how she makes me feel safe. She's a mini-dachshund and she is the best! I trained her myself with the use of some books I found on Amazon.com. The only time I feel unsafe with her is when stray dogs come upon us. In general she is so bossy they don't hassle us, but still, they unnerve me sometimes!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Mine are all in my head. That way I can go there whenever I want. I guess it stems from all the skills I was taught in the hospital. Don't have a physical safety object, because the converse of it making you feel safe is that you will feel unsafe if you need it and don't have it. I guess the same goes for a safe place. Well I hope you know what I mean. It's better for me to have safety things and places in my head because even if I lose every earthly possession, I will still have my safety things in my head. It makes sense because I was once attached to an object that comforted me. Someone moved it and I freaked out at 3am and woke up everyone in the house. Not good! Lesson learned, the best safe things/places are in my head.

 

[surviving_it_all]

Mine are all in my head.

That is so awesome. I hope I can be here too.

 

[LaurieJ]

My therapist's office is my safe place. As well as the park.