Sexual orientation and traumas -- a place to share your struggle with sexuality

[Missycat]

Whoa @PerfectEmpire - your post is so powerful. Thank you for sharing. So much of your story resinates with me.

 

[somerandomguy]

That's so interesting that you said that. I have wondered at what age you know... I get confused about that, because I have been told that kids don't care about that stuff until puberty. I don't know.

Not true. To use myself as an example, I was attracted to little girls at the age of 5 and perhaps earlier. Not the result of trauma - just the way I'm wired.

 

[littleoc]

Whoa @PerfectEmpire - your post is so powerful. Thank you for sharing. So much of yo...

Totally agree :)

Not true. To use myself as an example, I was attracted to little girls at the age of 5 and perhaps...

Wow, maybe me asking a girl out in 1st grade WAS something... although that still doesn't mean the teacher should have made it such a big deal. It wasn't. What 1st grade relationship lasts, anyway? Lol

1st grade sweethearts!

 

[hymnless]

Totally agree :)


Wow, maybe me asking a girl out in 1st grade WAS something... although that still...

I “married” a guy at the fish fry in 1st grade.... It didn’t work out :P

 

[Vee]

Great thread! Although, I don't have a story of my own here to share, I have several LGBTQ family members, and I am an ally. I'm glad you all are finding strength here.

 

[glass frog]

This is a really interesting thread!! I realized I liked girls around age 13/14 and came to terms with it. Shortly after, I started dating a girl that ended up being abusive. Afterwards, I think I distanced myself a lot from that identity and unconsciously became more uncomfortable with it. I just recently started thinking again that I'm a lesbian and a lot of that distance and confusion over the past few years probably stems from trauma. (I've had those issues with men as well, which makes it all the more difficult to unravel and figure out how you really feel). But despite also having confusion over my gender, I think I'm slowly coming to terms with this identity again.

 

[littleoc]

Great thread! Although, I don't have a story of my own here to share, I have several LGBTQ family members,...

Thank you! :) You're welcome here any time, if you ever have anything you want to say!

This is a really interesting thread!! I realized I liked girls around age 13/14 and came to terms with...

Identity is so complicated....

And I get that, with the abusive first relationship.

Domestic relationships between women in particular has been a topic that isn't being explored enough, despite high instances of violence -- domestically and otherwise. It's so hushed, possibly because of the same stereotypes that women aren't able to play those role (or, that they do excessively...).

Check out the most basic of summaries on Wikipedia (the sources are largely reliable, many coming from the Journal of Homosexuality, Journal of Lesbian Studies, Women & Therapy, and Journal of LGBT Health Research):
Domestic violence in lesbian relationships - Wikipedia

Although the introduction comes off pretty... weirdly

My male gay friend has noticed similar problems in the male gay community, though not identical issue. I can't find much on transgender relationships, unfortunately.


Anyway, yes, trauma just makes everything so much more complicated, and it's not easy anyway

 

[glass frog]

Thank you! :) You're welcome here any time, if you ever have anything you want to say!



Identity is...

Yes, it's definitely not explored much because of that stigma, and it's difficult to find resources or information about, so thanks so much! I think the more people start to talk about this stuff and start discussions like you are doing, the better!

 

[littleoc]

Yes, it's definitely not explored much because of that stigma, and it's difficult to find resources or...

Well, then thank you for sharing your story too! :)

 

[littleoc]

Oh, here's a couple of interesting pieces of information from the Wikipedia article (much of it is applicable for male homosexuals as well):

Moreover, the fear of reinforcing negative Link Removed has led some community members, activists, and victims to deny the extent of violence among lesbians.Link RemovedSocial service agencies are often unwilling to assist lesbian victims of domestic violence.Link RemovedVictims of domestic violence in lesbian relationships are less likely to have the case prosecuted within a legal system.Link Removed

In an effort to overcome the denial of domestic violence in lesbian relationships, advocates for abused women often concentrate on similarities between homosexual and heterosexual domestic violence. The main goal of activists is to legitimize lesbian domestic violence as real abuse and validate the experience of its victims.Link Removed

The two sources mentioned were Journal of Family Violence (10) and Woman and Therapy (4). (Not sure when the article will change enough for that to be hard to figure out.)

In case anyone is interested :)

 

[Amethus]

I literally got diagnosed with C-PTSD today. But I have felt something was wrong for a while. In my 33 years of life for the most part I have identified as a lesbian. The end of last year I woke up (believe it or not) and felt like I wanted a baby and a two parent house ( Man and Woman) out of the blue. I pursued this. Found a man and got pregnant. It didn't feel forced or uncomfortable. So I was thinking today a lot about my trauma. The first major thing that happened to me is I was drugged and raped by a "friend" of mine and 7 of his friends. I was 17 at the time and came out to him as bisexual. The culture I come from is not tolerant at all. One thing I remember him saying to me that they will get the gay out of me. I haven't really thought about this a lot until now. I have so much trauma from that point on and I am afraid to go there with myself. Now I am pregnant and alone so the least I can do is give this child and I a chance. I would consider myself to be bisexual at this time. With therapy I will hopefully learn more about this part of me.

 

[littleoc]

I literally got diagnosed with C-PTSD today. But I have felt something was wrong for a while. In my 33...

I've heard of this happening a lot, and there aren't numerous accounts of people using rape as a way to chase the gay out of people. Many countries in Africa and Southern Asia have more solid reports of it, for some reason, but its most certainly not a regional thing. Being threatened with that alone is frightening. I'm so very sorry that that happened to you.

Embracing that part of you will hopefully bring you piece :) Maybe not all at once, but I hope very soon