Need Help Accessing Emotions

[Rumors]

I almost cried today when I was talking about my dad...I fought it back but for the first time I didn't feel like I had a communicable disease or something horrible. It didn't feel natural either but I didn't just go away either. Usually I just go away....

 

[NightSky]

I almost cried today when I was talking about my dad...I fought it back but for the first time I didn't...

Progress!

 

[pixel]

I didn't just go away either. Usually I just go away....

Does that feel like a little bit of healing has happened?

 

[Rumors]

Yes @pixel! Usually I can't be present enough, or stay present enough, to process anything. In all honesty it has just taken time and continuing to talk about hard stuff to move forward. I almost felt comfortable letting it out... Habit made me choke it up but I didn't just hit the panic button. My t I am sure knows how hard it is for me to state emotion much less show it. I don't really even talk about being angry that much. However, he didn't shove it down my throat and point it out. All he said was "doesn't it feel good to not carry that around anymore?" knowing that it was hard anyway... I certainly don't think that is something that will happen often but I was glad it did and I didn't have a melt down. Lol

 

[pixel]

I'm really pleased for you honey :happy:

 

[Rumors]

I'm really pleased for you honey :happy:

Me too... Small steps but all steps count so I am going to feel like I have won a major battle!!

 

[katz]

Thank you so much, everyone, for your thoughtful responses. Maybe this should go in a separate thread...

I'm not sure if this helps or even applies, but I do a lot of dreaming about my "demons".
Your post got my attention because my memories often come to me as I'm waking up. I wonder if it is the same or similar. Your not quite awake, yet still asleep so you allow yourself to "experience " or "remember" the event more. ..real.
-just a thought.