General Need Help Because I Feel Like I Am On The Verge Of A Mental Breakdown

[beachy786]

My bf suffers from PTSD and TBI and lately his symptoms have gotten A LOT worse.

He is extremely stubborn and has gone into isolation mode to the point where no one can get a hold of him, he hasn't left his house in 3 weeks, (I had seen him a week prior and I could already see that he was spiraling, he had barely showered and told me he hadn't gone to work or done anything. He didn't want to "socialize" he told me. He had both the military channel and YouTube on watching nothing but military stuff or people fighting) the two times I stopped by in the past 3 weeks to see if he was OK he wouldn't even answer the door. This was extremely upsetting to me. I'm thinking really?? even me you wont answer the door, I've been with you for a few years and hes always expressed how he always felt safe and comfortable with me. he has not responded to any of my calls or texts.

I give him a lot of space and send him a quick text just letting him know I'm here and I miss him. The only time he texted me was on thanksgiving but since then I have heard nothing. I am very concerned about him and don't know what else to do. I cant let these isolation periods to keep going on.

Someone had recommended that I write him a letter and try stopping by again. Any advice? This situation is breaking my heart and I have done nothing but break down a number of times. I know people say oh keep yourself busy, which I try since I am in school and luckily have been staying on top of my work but my mind is consumed by him.

I honestly worry about his safety when he gets like this, I dont want to think that he would ever commit suicide but just thinking about things he's said I fear for the worst.

Please help me I dont know what to do :( Every day I feel like I'm that much closer to snapping...

 

[Bilby]

I'm so sorry to hear about this, it must feel awful right now.

I'd strongly suggest that you get some help for you. You need some support to get through these difficult times and talking to someone who is not directly involved or biased (i.e. not your boyfriend, not a friend or another family member) can be incredibly helpful.

I would suggest continuing to give him his space, but I can totally understand how hurtful this is for you. To have him shut you out like that would be really upsetting.

I read somewhere on this forum (I can't remember where) about perhaps sending him a text about something completely random - from memory the example was something like "OMG, I just saw the biggest bad arse spider imaginable! Scared the living shit out of me!" - it seems that sending a text about something that is completely unrelated to PTSD can often generate a response from them - I guess from the sufferer's point of view, it's a situation that doesn't involve any stress/pressure? You might give that one a go?

Now, is your boyfriend getting any help for himself? It sounds as though he has seriously gone downhill and REALLY needs therapy. Getting him to understand this and follow through with it is something that you can't do - he needs to want the help for himself - he has to take those steps himself unfortunately.

B x

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I'd strongly suggest that you get some help for you. You need some support to get through these difficult times and talking to someone who is not directly involved or biased (i.e. not your boyfriend, not a friend or another family member) can be incredibly helpful.....

.....he needs to want the help for himself - he has to take those steps himself unfortunately.

I'm sorry that there are no real answers for you, except that you 'save yourself first', like when the air masks come down in an airplane. You need to be in a place within yourself that his behaviour does not sending you spiraling out of control.

Sending blessings to you on your journey....:hug: