Gs172003
Diamond Member
Please call somebody to get you and take you to a womens shelter. You need help.
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Need Help Coping With Yelling
- Post starter Jacqueline1
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- #62
Jacqueline1
Bronze Member
X
Thank you I'm cufused.I have children I can't take take any more i want a friend no use. he is is killing my heart I'm sorry I should not have spoken
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Gs172003
Diamond Member
I'm glad you spoke up. You are not being treated right.
D
Deleted member 541
@Jacqueline1 Please don't stop posting, please don't think that you are dumping on us, and most importantly you need to get the hell out of that house and away from him before he kills you. This is serious. He's taken your car away, he accuses you of cheating. Their guy is not stable and you need to get out.
Call a women's shelter, they will protect you and your children..please do this for yourself and your kids.....
Call a women's shelter, they will protect you and your children..please do this for yourself and your kids.....
Your sharing isn't dumping, and if it were, that would be fine too. I am concerned about your safety now, so please don't stop posting.
Yes it is normal to fear going to a woman shelter. I feared that recently as well. I was able to get safe without having to, but your safety is your first priority.
His behaviors are harmful. Please talk to us here!
Yes it is normal to fear going to a woman shelter. I feared that recently as well. I was able to get safe without having to, but your safety is your first priority.
His behaviors are harmful. Please talk to us here!
gealach
Diamond Member
My mother yells a lot, basically at everything & at every opportunity. She's also extremely critical of everything. Her favorites right now seem to be yelling at the TV, yelling at her computer, complaining about every driver on the road, and being critical of everyone who's not a size 2-6 (she's also quite overweight). I used to get really upset at all the noise & swearing, it just disturbed me soooooo much and didn't make sense to me. I interpreted her behavior as constant rage & anger. A colleague of mine committed suicide last month, the 3rd in less than 2 years. When I tried to discuss his death with her (she was not supportive of my emotions), a light bulb went off. She's not angry, she simply has no empathy what so ever! She's a narcissist, it's all about her. Now I simply see her for who she is: a noisy unempathetic narcissist :p and her behavior is stupid rather than disturbing. It may be that your husband is burnt out, or maybe he's the penis version of my mother. I wish you luck, health, happiness, and healing :hug:
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- #68
Jacqueline1
Bronze Member
Hi neverthesame. the car is wasn't in my name he sold it any way. he doesn't know I'm at this website . . God bless all of you
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Jacqueline-I am not an attorney or legal expert. I also know little about your situation, (if you work, husbands employment, etc). You have said that you have lupus and your car was in his name. However, from what I have learned, at least in my state, with 20 yrs of marriage, he would likely have to provide you with some items such as a vehicle. My car is in both of our names, then he has 2 cars in just his name. Boy that kind of shows an inequity. He could legally take my car and I couldn't report it stolen because of both of our names, so he has 3 and I have none. So , for me, I think the best way to resolve this is in a court of law. Again, I don't know your financial situation but suspect it is inequitable at the time (given that he took your car)
I have been working on getting legal aid for awhile now and it is very frustrating. He has savings and I have none. Most attorneys want $5000 up front to start proceedings. Legal Aid seems a bit incompetent even if you are lucky enough to get it for free. This may not be the case for you. I have heard that some women have gotten legal representation and the judge orders payment from marital assets.
While my husband yells horribly at me, I blame myself for provoking it. In reality, I know that is not true. If I want to talk about retirement plans, what assets we have, making a home move, anything real besides dinner or sports scores, it provokes him. I can no longer keep my mouth shut about my future when my health is so poor. Two weeks ago he told me what I already suspected-that he hates me more every f....ing day, screaming these things at me, because I try to assert myself about the future.
I am finding this really hard, but trying to have faith that it is the right thing to do, since I have tried to make it work for so long and with all my heart. Now I just have to walk away.
I just really want you to be safe, and I know that being hit or pushed can be the least of damages done, and that the verbal and psychological can be just as damaging or even more. Please keep reaching out to us here.
I have been working on getting legal aid for awhile now and it is very frustrating. He has savings and I have none. Most attorneys want $5000 up front to start proceedings. Legal Aid seems a bit incompetent even if you are lucky enough to get it for free. This may not be the case for you. I have heard that some women have gotten legal representation and the judge orders payment from marital assets.
While my husband yells horribly at me, I blame myself for provoking it. In reality, I know that is not true. If I want to talk about retirement plans, what assets we have, making a home move, anything real besides dinner or sports scores, it provokes him. I can no longer keep my mouth shut about my future when my health is so poor. Two weeks ago he told me what I already suspected-that he hates me more every f....ing day, screaming these things at me, because I try to assert myself about the future.
I am finding this really hard, but trying to have faith that it is the right thing to do, since I have tried to make it work for so long and with all my heart. Now I just have to walk away.
I just really want you to be safe, and I know that being hit or pushed can be the least of damages done, and that the verbal and psychological can be just as damaging or even more. Please keep reaching out to us here.
D
Deleted member 541
@brat17 @Jacqueline1 In my area we have a wonderful women's center, that helps with all sorts of issues related to Domestic Violence. They help you do pro se divorce, they find you shelter if needed and will even provide you with emergency shelter at a motel or hotel. They have attorneys that help out and will give legal advice for free. They have councilors on hand if you need.
It has grown so huge in the last decade and many of the funds come from donations. We have this thing every year, called 3rd Thursday, where they shut down our Main Street and all the stores and vendors sell their stuff. But on one of those 3rd Thursdays, they have what's called. "Walk a mile in her shoes." OMG!!! It's awesome! All of the attorneys, and the DA's, assistant DA's police officers, some judges, anyone affiliated with law enforcement and everyday guys all put on BRIGHT RED HIGH HEALS and they walk a mile to raise funds of this women's center. It's a huge success every yr.
If either of you can.... find a women's center or shelter and reach out and seek some help. You both need it and it is out there....
Welcome | Walk a Mile in Her Shoes
It has grown so huge in the last decade and many of the funds come from donations. We have this thing every year, called 3rd Thursday, where they shut down our Main Street and all the stores and vendors sell their stuff. But on one of those 3rd Thursdays, they have what's called. "Walk a mile in her shoes." OMG!!! It's awesome! All of the attorneys, and the DA's, assistant DA's police officers, some judges, anyone affiliated with law enforcement and everyday guys all put on BRIGHT RED HIGH HEALS and they walk a mile to raise funds of this women's center. It's a huge success every yr.
If either of you can.... find a women's center or shelter and reach out and seek some help. You both need it and it is out there....
Welcome | Walk a Mile in Her Shoes
Lionheart
Not Active
@Jacqueline1
As a man and a survivor of abuse, I just wanted to say that I support your right to seek safety, sanity, and happiness for yourself. No man, no matter how much you may love him, has the right to mistreat you!!
I had a family member who was in a violent, toxic relationship who left and went to a domestic violence shelter and she benefitted from it greatly. Perhaps you are also in this situation and could use the help and assistance of others.
At any rate, I just wanted to weigh in and encourage you to take extra good care of yourself.
My best to you,
Lionheart
As a man and a survivor of abuse, I just wanted to say that I support your right to seek safety, sanity, and happiness for yourself. No man, no matter how much you may love him, has the right to mistreat you!!
I had a family member who was in a violent, toxic relationship who left and went to a domestic violence shelter and she benefitted from it greatly. Perhaps you are also in this situation and could use the help and assistance of others.
At any rate, I just wanted to weigh in and encourage you to take extra good care of yourself.
My best to you,
Lionheart
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