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Need Help Making A Major Life Decision

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Strip it back to what it is, you were abused as a child, this skewed perception you have of sex fulfilling you because he has somehow tainted you needs to be addressed.

your abusive past does not define who you are! Maybe it will be the biggest challenge of all never knowing, is that a sacrifice you are willing to give, to never know?
 
Thank you to everyone for your honest feedback. I do have lots of time (6 to 9 years) before I decide whether to be a nun or get married. It's a long process. Plus, if I ever take a time out, it's even longer. And yes, I do think I could still make a difference in the world as a wife. I'm a nurse, and nurses make a difference in the lives of their patients no matter what they have chosen for their life.

This gave me a lot to think and pray about. And yes, I will be discussing it with my spiritual director, confessor, and superior.
 
What you need is a good reflection tool. This is a puzzle you can figure out yourself. Check out how I worked out my issues in the discussion section "Reflect with Sudoku" It was spiritually enlightening that I wasn't forgiving,so I wasn't forgiven.

Stay on your path sister
 
I am creeped out by the fact that I will die knowing that my father is the only one who will have done sexual things to me.
I see the situation you are in, as extremely difficult... One part of you wants to follow your faith and the other part would dearly love to experience something other than the experience of your memory so close to home.

Just remember that you already have a beautiful heart and your intentions are logical. Pro's and con's. Look at this without emotion and use your facts. The answer is there somewhere for you to except your needs of your own or your faith.

Personally, I would follow the sexual experience, only so I can release that torment in my mind.
 
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