Need New Grounding Tool

[safenow]

Not really sure how to word this so it doesn't upset anyone. But I'm sure a lot of us have this same issue. I'm looking for a way to ground that little one who lives inside when she flashes back to sexual trauma.

Last month I was reading something, and my eyes began to move rapidly and the next thing I knew I was back to my back yard as a very wee child being molested by a man the family called Uncle. As soon as I came out of it, I was able to ground myself, but the aftermath is still with me. I never do that on any other sexual encounters, but that one is major. Over the years I've learned how to ground and bring myself back pretty fast, so this one has me shook up.

Does anyone have a way to bring yourself back quickly? I'm trying to figure out why that trigger is still active, but until I do, I need some help. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Safenow,

I am so sorry you are still sitting with this and that it is demanding your attention like that.

Four is extremely young and I am not at all surprised that it is so painful especially since you had no support. I am so glad you had your animals.

I have no magic solution sadly.

Maybe it just has to be the normal grounding for flashbacks. And lots of reminders to yourself that it is in the past and that you are now safe. The year and who you are and where you presently are.

And from what you said before you have not fully worked through this stuff so that's probably why it is still popping up.

Take care and I hope you feel better soon.

 

[p-no]

Safenow, can you bring yourself back when you're that wee child again? Or are you 'gone' so much that you wouldn't be able to use your adult body consciously? I don't know if you understand what I mean, but maybe you do.

I have two suggestions: one for when you can't (not a fast solution, but can be practised and can get better) and one for when you can (very fast). Of course, that's as far as my experience with those things go, but maybe you could try and see if they work for you.

 

[KP the nut]

Have you looked at this thread.

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/grounding-101.12459/[/DLMURL]

Something there may help.

 

[cragger65]

Hi there,

I haven't been back to this site for quite a while, so I'm not sure we've spoken. Noticing how a neutral part of your body feels can be a very effective way of staying here and now. Simply noticing how the bottom of your feet feel, or behind your knees has worked very well for me in the past, and continues to help me whenever I still need it. Try to simply allow the sensation impress itself upon you.

If you can notice a gentle sensation, like a tingling, and imagine this is all of your stress and the stored emotional part of your memory evaporating, kind of like soda bubbles from the bottom of a glass... releasing, evaporating, becoming less and less and less with each passing moment. Breathe deeply and press down on your shoulder muscles closest to your neck if this helps you, and allow your head the freedom to just loll if it feels nice.

Repeating a gentle mantra to yourself can also keep you here, and let "it" float away on its own.

"That was then, and this is now"
"At core, I am a worthy person"
"I am kind"

Or, imagine giving that sweet little person a hug, holding them close and safe now. Rock them like a baby in your arms.

I hope that all or any of this is helpful. Use what feels right at the time, and forget the rest. There is no right or wrong way, only what is right for you. Each time it comes, it becomes less, and you become more. Letting go in such ways at such times will use up less precious natural energy, and bring new strength.

Blessings, take good care.

 

[safenow]

Maybe it just has to be the normal grounding for flashbacks.

Thank you. I've been able to ground, it's the aftermath and not being able to pull it all back together I need the help with.And thank you so much. Yes, my animals kept me safe for a long time. I do wish I could have a pet here besides my pet rock.

I have two suggestions:

You forgot to say what they are. LOL.

Letting go in such ways at such times will use up less precious natural energy, and bring new strength.

Thank you very much. Those are good techniques. I'm not sure what my little needs to learn. I know the "that was then, and this is now" doesn't work for her. Her "now" got much worse. As an adult, it works great for me. But I have Multiple Personality Disorder, and she is a person all her own. I know that makes no sense, but it is a reality of my life. All of my alternate personalities work together now, but this little one's memory has been blocked for over 60 some years. I remember the event, but it doesn't trigger me like it does her. I can look at events from my past and not be so upset by them. They just were, and they are not happening now. But each of my alters sees things from a different point of view. For example, I have a blind alter (about 6 years old), yet I am not blind. I can recall the event she saw that caused her to go blind, but yet it doesn't make me blind. I have other triggers that take me back to that event, but the actual sight of it, isn't the worse part. OH well. Just trying to let you know my issues on this need.

Sorry to ramble.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Using perfume to ground you helps, it lasts longer if you spay it on your sleeves.

 

[safenow]

Thank you, Phenioxrising. I've never tried that one, but I will.

 

[safenow]

Using perfume to ground you helps,

Just so you know. I put some on, and I instantly went from the child in the back yard to the adult woman in my living room. Before, since I got triggered back to that little, I've been in both places at the same time. Now it's just me again. Thank you, thank you.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Anytime, glad it helped.

 

[Venusian]

I have been mulling this over myself. I have so many things that I do when I need to ground myself because one doesn't always work all the time. I don't have multiple personalities but I didn't have the support I needed when I was a child because I was an older child and had to always be the strong one. I try to think what I would have done to comfort my daughter at that age. I would hug her as hard as I could and just let her cry. Then I would sit with her and brush her hair with a soft hairbrush that was all her own, just to let her know I was still there. When she was sick she would sit in the kitchen with me and colour with crayons or sleep on the couch. She didn't like to sleep alone in her room. She didn't need me to talk to her, she just needed me to be beside her.

For me, one of my grounding techniques is to draw. When I am at work I use a small post-it note, 2 inchs by 2 inches so that I can finish quickly. I just doodle, usually the same shape over and over that fits together like a jigsaw. Sometimes beautiful little pictures appear. Most times I look at it and try to see where it would have been better, but by the time I think of that I don't need to ground myself anymore.

Is there anyway you could do that for her? Get a special brush just for her so that she brush her hair and know that she isn't alone anymore?

 

[safenow]

This is one I drew for her many years ago.

Get a special brush just for her so that she brush her hair and know that she isn't alone anymore?

I really like that. Thank you very much. You sound like a good mom. I never had that type of example in my life. I do the best I can, but that isn't always enough, you know what I mean? I allow my littles to have things to comfort them, but when she is like that, nothing soothes her. But I think that hairbrush will just do the trick. Thank you again.