Need New Grounding Tool

[Abstract]

Safenow,
Is the the little one that lived outside? You probably have something like this already but I wondered about buying her a "Safe Teddy" or some other animal that she can cuddle when she is afraid and that represents safety. I also have a very soft fluffy blanket that helps me.

I don't know if she is too little to be able to play with computer games but there are some lovely animal ones aimed at children that she could maybe use for distraction. For example: http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bells.htm I use these too. :)

I am so glad you are finding things that help. It might be helpful to think of her personality and therefore what is more likely to help her.

 

[safenow]

She has an entire toy box full of stuffed animals. I finally got the message. They are not alive. Much different than real animals. LOL. Real ones love you back. Stuffed ones makes you sneeze and it's hard to breath when you cuddle them. The other little enjoy them so we keep them around. But this one is different than all the rest. She is pre-outside. She went outside at times, but spent most of her days and nights locked in the closet in the house. When daddy had "friends" over, she was allowed out of the closet and would go outside to play with her friends. In the closet she had a cricket and other ants and such to play with. Even a small mouse. Yuck.

I'll try the computer thing. Thank you, abstract.

 

[safenow]

sorry.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Safenow,
What are you sorry about? Did you need to delete because it was too hard to leave something up? That is OK.

I meant to say too that there are lots of different games on that site. If you click on "games" on the top left then you should see some more. I am not sure if she has some access to your skills or not. If not then most would be too difficult still but maybe you or some of the others might find them helpful. Like there is one where one catches dropping apples in a basket but she may not have the eye hand coordination.

Fair enough that your little feels like that about the toys! She probably wont find animals important like you do either. I wonder if she finds enclosed or small spaces comforting or triggering.

I hope you find more things to help.

 

[safenow]

She finds small, dark spaces comforting and safe. It used to be when she'd come out during the night, I'd wake up the next morning on the floor in the closet. when I'd get triggered at work and she'd be the one, I'd find myself under my desk in the far corner where it was dark. She never had toys, the kind like other people have. I tried giving her toys, but she would only look at them, not knowing what to do with them. She didn't have a blanket. So those types of things don't give her comfort. But when I was able to drive, I'd take us all to the park and feed the ducks or go to the zoo and she loves that. She likes the petting zoo. When summer comes we shall be going to the zoo here. I'll have to make arrangements with the paratransit service to give us a ride up and back as it's a way's away.

Thank you so much for caring. I don't talk much about my alters, but Abby is special. For her, things can't be artificial. They have to be 100% real. To her the computer is artificial. It's not paper and pencil. It's not real people (even though they are on camera) and the animals aren't real either. When she saw a picture of an animal she touch it, and because it didn't have hair or breath she lost interest quick. Most of the time she sleeps, but when she's awake, she is awake and has lots of questions when no one is around. LOL.

 

[Venusian]

That is a beautiful picture, Safenow. It didn't download the first time I read the post.

Trying to get the shading right on the wicker must have taken a lot of time and those kittens must be part siamese, those blue eyes are so intense on my computer. They are adorable and I am sure she must love it.

 

[safenow]

She said they are dead kitties. No breath in them. sigh. She's a hard one to please.

 

[Venusian]

I am sorry, I wrote that post while you were explaining a little more about Abby. I understand why she would like small spaces to feel safe in. I did too.

Now, at this time in my life I am looking back and realizing what I needed most and didn't get. I had parents who were "good" parents. They expected me to be the "big" girl and help with the younger ones. I just wanted someone to understand what I was trying to say. I am not sure if I wanted anyone to hold me, I couldn't hug my parents for a long time, not until I was grown up. I just wanted them to understand when I couldn't understand myself, but they didn't, no one did.

Reading your posts, I know you do that, give all of your personalities a chance to express themselves and just be. Is Abby trying to get something out? Is she trying to make everyone understand something she doesn't know how to express? Maybe that is why you can't seem to get grounded like you used to? When something else emerges from my memory that I didn't know before, it won't leave me alone until I know what it is.

If she doesn't like pictures or stuffed animals, is there another medium she can use to help her communicate? Would clay help her express herself? It is something squishy and can be warm or wet, it can be scented. It involves a few more senses than drawing.

 

[reckoner]

Don't have a grounding tool - and so many flashbacks today. Yesterday was a really good day, and night... I had a good sleep... Today when I was walking with my kids it was a non stop replay in my mind... So many things, so many words, so many pictures and so many feelings... Feelings that I didn't feel but rather watched myself experience, paste tense... too much. I need a grounding tool.

 

[Abstract]

Abby does sound special Safenow.

She finds small, dark spaces comforting and safe

I can totally see why she would feel that way as that is what she was used to.

I guess she must feel quite different to the rest of you as she has not had that experience of living with the animals.

You may not be able to find something like this but maybe you can create a safe place for her that feels a little enclosed and dark and quiet. Maybe it would help to think of what comforted her in the past to find something related that would comfort her now.

If the perfume helped with grounding maybe you could get essential oils and put them in different coloured bottles. Or if that is too artificial for her then maybe a box of herbs and spices that she can touch and taste and you can teach her the names of them.

but when she's awake, she is awake and has lots of questions when no one is around. LOL.

Oh that is sweet. She sounds like a typical four year old.

 

[safenow]

Reckoner, type "Grounding" in the search field, then click "Title". Look for the 5-4-3-2-1 game. It works quick and no matter where you are.

 

[reckoner]

I can't find it.