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Other Neurodivergent vs neurotypical

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people are ND then they are sort of “safe” and if they are NT then they are sort of “scary”. B
I do not see it that way. In my world ND is intelligent, NT is not so smart. (It has been this way my entire life. Sorry if I offend anyone.) It is very hard to have conversations with most people. It is boring. People only want surface talk. I want more than that when I speak with people. Man, this is tough to explain but I value the questions. Its getting me to think as well. This is very good. Thank you, Rose.
 
Most people won’t find any use for the word, because they fit in regular clothes.
Interesting analogy. I think the terms petite and big/tall are very useful for people who fit in regular clothes because there is a discrete difference which is measurable. As in, “I can’t wear that, it’s too small/big.”

With the NT/ND, I like how @silverlinings1069 explained it as stupid/smart. And what a relief it was for them to use the terms NT/ND instead. “I find it challenging to have conversations with stupid NT people.”

Just a thought, there *are* stupid people out there, in both categories. Stupid people are often the ones we don’t like, usually because we see their views as ignorant or malignant. But we don’t usually call them stupid unless talking to our close circle or speaking anonymously or in a space where we feel powerful enough.

I used to think I was autistic and then I found out that PTSD and trauma caused a lot of the same symptoms. But I felt the most “myself” when interacting with autistic people. And then I sort of got “cured” or went into remission or got my symptoms under control or figured out how to cope. I also had diagnoses of OCD and BPD before the PTSD was settled on. For me the PTSD diagnosis led to the most meaningful work in terms of facing and dealing with my neuroses.

Not sure why I’m blabbing on. Thanks for explaining how the terms helped you @silverlinings1069 , I can see how that would be a relief to have some neutral terms.
 
I don’t understand the usefulness of that term. It seems to me that everyone has a unique brain.
I believe it is an attempt to separate people who have neurodevelopmental or congenital neurological divergence from those who do not. If you look at someone like me, it is extremely apparent that I am not the same as the majority of our human population. I am schizo-spectrum and ADHD and OCD and it is super obvious. So there is a value and a benefit to acknowledging that, for example, I am very distinct from the average population of people.

It is helpful because in my therapy, my therapist understands that ordinary diagnostic and ordinary treatment modalities aren't going to be as effective on me, or they will not work on me in the same manner, as someone like you (if you don't have these issues - which I believe you actually have OCD - which I acknowledge I cannot actually know, but I am using a general "you"). It has less to do with having a "unique brain" because while everyone's brains are unique in a certain way, they are structurally and anatomically similar, they work in similar ways.

Whereas a brain like mine objectively does not, which you can see based even on how medications such as amphetamines work on me. However, it is also important to understand that neurodivergent is an umbrella term - someone with OCD is different to someone with ADHD. It's a good umbrella term to have because we both still are medically divergent from others, but then you have to specify and specialize how. So for you, having OCD, it's good to acknowledge because CBT treatment, the most common treatment for PTSD, will look different for you as a person with OCD than someone without OCD.

It's also important to know that neurodivergent is a colloquial term, it is not a scientific term. It's a term that we as the neurodivergent community have settled on to understand the ways that we are all similar - this is why therapists and doctors don't usually use such a term, even though they recognize that there are similarities between different neurodivergent people. They would use specialized terms because they are specialized in treating us.

How do you deal/cope with neurotypicals?
As for this, I'm going to be real, I don't tend to get along with people who are neurotypical. This is not to say that I have never had neurotypical friends, but because of how divergent I am, I have always struggled with people who lack neurological divergence in some way, because they very often fail to understand me and attribute my behavior to malice instead of disease.

I have had some success though, and that usually comes from being very honest about the difficulties and divergences I have. Before I was fully open and authentic, most people did not like me and I did not like them. But now I have noted that as I've gotten older there is utility in the phrase, "just be who you are." This is why it's important to be specific, and not to generalize everything.

Because if I say "well all neurotypical people just hate me," then I am closing myself off to a potentially really strong friendship with someone else. Because human beings are often very intelligent, a neurotypical who has exposure to neurodivergence may learn about it and may come to an understanding of a neurodivergent individual simply through education and exposure.

I think the term ‘neuro - divergent’ lost all meaning the minute it was picked up as the latest TikTok badge for self diagnosed people to over identify with.
Neurodivergent is NOT a diagnosis, it’s a buzz word.
I will also add that I think these opinions are pretty reductive when it comes to the phrase neurodivergent, because if we want to go there, then we can potentially say that every diagnosis such as BPD, ADHD, DID, PTSD etc "lose all meaning" based on TikTok and self-diagnosers and fakers. And that is simply not the case. They definitely all still have plenty of meaning, and just because people misuse it doesn't take away from their benefits.

(And sorry, I know I edited this 100000x, haha. Blame the ADHD!)
 
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I used to think I was autistic and then I found out that PTSD and trauma caused a lot of the same symptoms. But I felt the most “myself” when interacting with autistic people. And then I sort of got “cured” or went into remission or got my symptoms under control or figured out how to cope. I also had diagnoses of OCD and BPD before the PTSD was settled on. For me the PTSD diagnosis led to the most meaningful work in terms of facing and dealing with my neuroses.
I never thought I was autistic until I started getting better. In the last few months I believe it more and more as I heal. I can tell a NT in 5 minutes of sitting in front of them and talking to them (I'm hearing impaired) . I know almost instantly if I will have to "mask" or if I can be myself. I also can identify very intelligent NT's that I feel okay around for a while. For me, it is very obvious but I have had decades of practice identifying people that don't think like me. Thank you for your openness.

As for this, I'm going to be real, I don't tend to get along with people who are neurotypical. This is not to say that I have never had neurotypical friends, but because of how divergent I am, I have always struggled with people who lack neurological divergence in some way, because they very often fail to understand me and attribute my behavior to malice instead of disease. I have had some success though, and that usually comes from being very honest about the difficulties and divergences I have.

Before I was fully open and authentic, most people did not like me and I did not like them. But now I have noted that as I've gotten older there is utility in the phrase, "just be who you are."
This has been the general consensus with NDs I have met. If I'm going to be honest, I have had very little luck with NTs. I appreciate your honesty. Thank you.

I am learning it really is better to be who you are. Thank you for the advise.
 
this is why therapists and doctors don't usually use such a term, even though they recognize that there are similarities between different neurodivergent people. They would use specialized terms because they are specialized in treating us.
Although!!! Although!!! Although!!! 🤩

<cough> Can you tell I’m excited?

…(Wold Class, let’s caveat that, right there) Children’s Hospitals do!!! 😍

Every single doctor/nurse/tech/support/admin/volunteer at the hospital my son & I were at for nearly 2 years (level 1 trauma center for 5 states) has weeks of extra training in the divergent umbrella, in order to better interact with the kids in their orbit. I. Have. Never. In. My. Life. been able to just grin at the person coming in and say “Sensory issues” (or whatever the thing was, that was going to be in play, for what they were doing) and have them grin back and do exactly what needs doing, the. best. way. possible.

Nunathis “Let’s just” or “It will only” or “Now listen here” or “You need” or “Don’t fuss (it’s only/just)”, or, or, or, that people who don’t grok why certain disorders respond …badly… to normal things, and attempt to push through how things are “supposed to” be… no matter how clearly what they’re doing is NOT working. Nor, which is bliss in another kind of way, none of the SHOCK and bafflement, as things that are “supposed to be” hard… are no issues/easy as cake. ALL of which create distance, and difficulty, and unnecessary hardship.

It was keeeeeeerazy amazing.

Speaking both as a parent, and as an adult who had to learn as a kid to ignore 99% of adults and look for the rare player with mischief in their eyes, or a special brand of gruff&grumpy, to latch onto & lissen close.

Sometimes one just gets so used to swimming upstream, that suddenly being plonked into a world made with you in mind? <low whistle> Don’t really have the words for it. Eternal stars in my eyes for that place.
 
Just a thought, there *are* stupid people out there, in both categories. Stupid people are often the ones we don’t like, usually because we see their views as ignorant or malignant. But we don’t usually call them stupid unless talking to our close circle or speaking anonymously or in a space where we feel powerful enough.
Yes there are much less intelligent people in the world. They tend to run from me - fast - and I am okay with that. I am WAY too much for them. lol And it has nothing to do with like or dislike. My ex husband is very intelligent, mechanical engineering degree from Georgia Tech, super smart, right? Not really, to me. He is an okay guy. makes money. Good with our son but he is boring. Has no depth. I might as well talk to the dog. To me, he is "stupid" because he cannot think as fast as me or at my level. And that is okay. But I feel much better calling him NT rather than stupid. Because it is not true or a fact. He is smart. He is definitely not stupid. Just not MY type of smart. (I hope that makes sense.)
 
My ex husband is very intelligent, mechanical engineering degree from Georgia Tech, super smart, right? Not really, to me.
I would go the extra step and say that this is also a big feature in people with a high IQ as opposed to an average/lower IQ. I have a 170 verbal IQ which is 11 standard deviations above average, and it means that because of how fast my brain is and how hyperlexic I am, it often results in a slew of miscommunications when it comes to average people in a way that frankly, I experience as disabling. If I cannot make myself understood, then how beneficial is a 170 IQ?

So in this, I would add that going based on "intelligent/stupid" is not accurate, because intelligence at the end of the day, isn't what makes someone a good human being - and those who are extremely intelligent often suffer in serious ways. If you can understand me now, that's because I've worked on this problem for decades. It is not natural to me, and I still have experiences where I'm going a mile a minute that other people just don't grasp.

And it's not their fault, it's because of my divergence.
 
Ehh I have issues with the whole ‘stupid’ thing.

I mean - stupid at what? I have a friend who built an insaaaane car out in his garage from scratch. Not sure he can spell his own name. I think he’s ace.

I’m the opposite. Generally I get on extremely badly with the ‘book-smart’ people. I’m drawn to practicality & down to earth & people who don’t take themselves too seriously. The right stuck up puffballs rub me right up the wrong way. I just can’t take them seriously they are so up themselves. Give me someone with no qualifications that can birth a lamb, cook a roast on a barbecue made out of an old washing machine, and then fix every car in the yard for desert.
 
I do not see it that way. In my world ND is intelligent, NT is not so smart.
It’s not about intelligence specifically, but that’s a common misconception based on how we traditionally measured IQs. You can get dumb and smart with both NT andND.

It’s meant to group people who’s brain’s work in a very specific way in specific functions, which is a variation of what is usually considered normal.

Unless you decide to learn about the neurology, it has very little use. It’s important for a psychologist or psychiatrist, because it will help them understand some of the things that they use to make a diagnosis, and plan treatment.
 
It’s not about intelligence specifically, but that’s a common misconception based on how we traditionally measured IQs. You can get dumb and smart with both NT andND.
You are absolutely correct. I was using intelligent and stupid because I have no other way to describe it. (And I have been using that identification since I was 4 or 5ish because I did not have NT to use.) And...I know NTs have a difficult time understanding me so I'm trying to make it easy for all involved. I know nothing about IQ's and all of that. I just know, very quickly, when I talk to someone if it is going to go well or not. I plan on researching it (that's my thing - I love the research) so I have a better understanding. Thank you for your input.
 
I plan on researching it (that's my thing - I love the research) so I have a better understanding.
It’s really interesting, so if research is your bag it will be time well spent. I’d go for the sources that lean toward neurology, though, because there’s a shittonne of “information” out there that is complete rubbish!
 
And it's not their fault, it's because of my divergence.
It's not our fault either. And I am not sure IQ got involved. This has nothing to do with IQ as far as I'm concerned. lol I look at it as too bad they were born NT. I am ND and very cool with that. I'm not going to get along with everyone, whether they are NT or ND. I get that. To me, its like being a great dancer or an average dancer. I prefer being around other great dancers because they will teach me more, I will understand them better, I won't be bored out of my mind, new dances might be available. With an average dancer, I'm not going to get much. It's okay. I get to dance but it is just not the same. I hope this helps.
 
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