New And Scared

[aatredes]

Hi

I had a really bad thing happen in February of 2009 to me and was diagnosed with PTSD in June of 2009. I saw a therapist for a short time then stopped. My doctor tried all kinds of different medications to help me with depression however my body does not seem to like these medications. I am currently on Klonopin for anxiety and have been for quite some time. It does not seem to help a lot, however, I don't know how I'd be doing without it so perhaps it is helping in some way.

I do not abuse drugs or alcohol. I cannot drink because of my diabetes. I am a heavy smoker and want to quit but right now cigarettes are my only coping skill.

I have become agoraphobic and my husband has to beg and plead to get me out of our condo. I'm scared of everything. I have nightmares and flashbacks of the event so sleep is an issue. I see a new therapist on Wednesday as things are really spiraling out of control but I believe in my mind I cannot get better. I hope she can change my mind.

It's hard to talk about what happened to me but it was pretty unusual & I've never heard of anyone having the same trauma as I've experienced so that scares me too, making me think I'm beyond help.

I've pretty well given up on me but a crisis counselor told me about this site and told me that I should give it a try along with my therapy. So here I am. I don't know what else to say without starting to cry (which I do about 10 hours out of every day, and I'm not exaggerating about that either!!)

I hope you all are having a nice evening and thanks for reading.

 

[Jawn]

Welcome to the forum aatredes. Please read the articles on the main page and many of the threads on the forum. While you may not find an exact match for your trauma, you will find many who have similar traumas and suffer from many of the same symptoms as you. Read and learn from all the info here.

Jawn

 

[aatredes]

Thank you Jawn I am reading it's difficult to concentrate, but doing my best. Thank you for the welcome it is really appreciated. I feel alone now I feel like maybe I'm not.

 

[Jawn]

aatredes, you are no longer alone as you are a part of this forum now. Read, learn, ask questions, and share when you are able to. You will find lots of information and understanding here.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Hi Aatredes!

Welcome to the forum! This is a wonderful place to be, full of understanding, supportive, loving, wonderful people.
I hope you soon feel very safe and at home here!

Congratulations for having the courage and desire to heal, for coming here and working on therapy.
You're not alone...
With caring, concern and warmest wishes for healing, comfort and peace,
Deer

 

[Blutarg]

Hi and welcome Aatredes!

This is the place to be until you get sorted out. Read through the articles and the people on here will support you. We all have our own trauma we are here because we have been affected in similar ways.

Don't despair, there is always hope and you will find help, okay?

Blutarg

 

[KP the nut]

Dear Aatredes, welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry you are feeling how you do but I'm so very pleased you have found us. Even those who have similar traumas are different so athough yours may be different, we can probably relate to the feelings/symptoms of PTSD.

Well done on your first post, it took great courage. You may not have expected much but look members have responded, this means you are not alone, we are with you.

I also have a supportive husband, he is my rock but at times even he does not get IT. I have a T with whom I am comfortable and he is helping. I see him once a week for 90 minutes. However I find support, friendship and understanding here daily. We share techniques which have helped us, chatted online and are there for one another.

I hope your T will be able to help. Like pets, PTSD is for life not just Christmas. However we can take contol of our lives, it is a long road, but with support it can be done. You just need to read the threads and articles on the home page to realise that.

I hope you will continue to post, even that helps.

(((HUGS))) if you will accept them
KP

 

[cherryblossom]

Hello
Welcome to the forum

I'm pleased to hear you are going back to therapy - all very positive.

 

[blueangel371115]

Glad to see you here. Welcome. You are definitely not alone.

 

[aatredes]

Thank you everyone for your support. I go to therapy tomorrow morning and I am so scared, just leaving my home makes me scared. I am all over the place with anxiety.

I've been reading the forums and haven't found anyone who experienced what I did so I think I should share what happened to me. I think there is another forum for that. I will find it.

Thank you all again for your kindness

 

[Blutarg]

Try breathing slowly to begin with for a few minutes at a time and focus on that only.

Hope your session goes well and we will wait to hear from you.

It will, and does, get better.

 

[amethist]

Hi aatredes

I hope you therapy goes better than you are anticipating.

As for anyone else going through what you did, that does not matter. The point is all sufferers have gone through some kind of trauma, which in turn resulted in them being given a PTSD diagnosis. This is what brings everyone together here.

Learning and sharing what helps them recover and keep going, how the symptoms effect them and how they over came the worst to be able to live again.

The reason for your trauma is not why you were quided to this forum, learning how to manage your PTSD symptoms is.

Amethist