New Girl

[All Roads]

Hi,

My husband has just been diagnosed with PTSD. He served with the British Army for 17 years. I met him just 2 months after something realy bad happened to him in Bosnia in 1996, but he had kept everything to himself for more than 13 years. I only learnt about what he had gone through because he talks in his sleep! I always knew that there was something tainting his life, but, as I'm sure many of you understand, it had been buried deep inside.

After he realised I had part of the story, he tried to take his own life... I got home in time. This was a little over a week ago. Since then, I can't believe have fast things have moved. We have been so lucky with the help we have received from our family doctor and the local mental health team.

But, it's so hard to deal with the hurt and anger without showing it. Everyone is now calling me his carer, while others are saying I'm a victim. I'm not either! I'm his wife!

I work full time and the last few miles home are the worst. Is he going to be OK, what am I going to find. Will he talk to me or will he just leave whatever room I enter?
I will do whatever it takes to help him. He is my husband, my sweetheart and my best friend.

The practical side of things is easy. I have had to wind up his business, but, oh I don't know, the rest is sometimes overwelming. Thank you for letting me rant, thank you for letting me be honest.
Cathy

 

[windwalker]

Welcome Cathy... lots of healing energy to you and your husband.

 

[Pixie]

Hi Cathy... wow. What a week you have had!

Welcome to the forum and I'm glad that you have found your way here and can get the support and advice that will help you.

Rell

 

[CCurry]

Hi Cathy,

Wow, that is a lot to absorb in such a short period of time, sorry to hear that.

I am in a similar scenerio as you as I am the gf of an army vet whose world came crashing down on her about 4 months ago. Hope you stick around, lots of support her both from sufferers who can help you understand what he is going through and also from us carer's (sorry not sure you wanted to hear that word) but we also understand how you are feeling.

C.

 

[anni]

Hi Cathy,

Oh my how awful for you! I just wished to say hi and welcome to the forum. I've only been here a few months myself, but have found it's incredibly helpful. There are many members who joined because their loved one has PTSD, and there's just nothing more helful than not being alone. Perhaps you don't have it yourself, but your nerves have to be all KINDS of shattered after the time you've had.

It'll be comforting, reassuring and somewhat energizing to read through 'carer' posts. Of course you're his wife- while he's so unwell the whole 'carer' referrance is a little unavoidable. It's well intentioned, and possibly will remind you to make sure you take care of yourself, also?

Take care, hope you find some peace here for both of you.

Anni

 

[All Roads]

Wow,

Thank you all for you kind words and support. I can't tell you how much it means to me to see so many people responding so fast.

If I have to fight every day for the rest of my life I will do my bit to make people understand what this terrible illness does to individuals, partners and whole families.

I feel lucky that we have the chance to make things better for Andy now. We have to consider this an opportunity to be even happier and stronger than before.

Thank you all so much.

Cathy x

 

[kriskats]

Dear Cathy,

Sending you positive energy vibes~~~~

I found a book that may helo you, as it is called The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship, by Diane England PHD from Adams Media in Massachusetts. It is a very comprehensive book on how to take care of yourself, and your loved one during this extremely difficult time.

Bless you

Jennifer

 

[onebravegirl]

You sound like an incredible woman. Please get all the support you can. PTSD is not a one woman job. He needs therapy. My heart goes out to you. Please keep posting.
O

 

[helena]

Hi Cathy,

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear what your husband is going through but it is (sadly) very familiar. So many people on this forum wil be able to advise and support you so you have come to the right place.

 

[anni]

I logged back in to clean out my inbox and thought I'd check the posts.

It won't be a fight every day. truly! There will still be many, many days of the kind you both know together-the familiar, happy kind. There will be fights with this stupid thing, but you'll see, it's just not going to be your whole life. It's going to get better.

I hope he's a little better today, and you also!

Anni

 

[cragger65]

Welcome to the forum Cathy, I wish you and your husband all the best in this new leg of the journey. This is probably the worst time, know it will improve, and you'll both learn new things that will help both of you cope, as long as you have the right people involved with the right support, and it sounds like you do have that right up front, which is half the battle.

Best wishes, keep talking it out,
Dave

 

[Clydiechick]

Hi

I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you and your husband seek help, you are both in a horrible place right now and need support. He is stuck in a place that he can't escape, doesn't know how.

You sound like a wonderful person, and a very faithful wife. I wish you all the best. Take care of yourself too or you won't be any good for your husband. I hope you have family and friends that understand.

Clydie