Hi, It sounds like we may have similar historys. My mother was narcisstic and did not protect me as a child. I was sexually abused by a brother in law and an uncle. Mental,verbal and emotional abuse. It set the stage for picking an abusive spouse. I was trapped in an abusive marriage for 25 yrs. My children, all young adults now, were abused. I tried very hard to protect them but was unable to stem the damage. I am 56 now and am going through a bitter divorce from a diagnosed narcisstic psycopath, who loves to play games with the court system, where I get to be abused all over again. I am going to be okay. I am going to work to be okay. I go to the gym, take antidepressants, see a psychologist and have found my way here, like you. I too have difficulty with the diagnosis but I keep reading. I don't know anyone else who has PTSD and therefore do the best I can. It is hard to fathom that it is a life long thing that we can manage with periodic flare ups. Whitemagic