New Therapist Ultimatum

[driftaway]

I saw a new therapist today. She had an ultimatum for me. I disclosed that I smoke weed and work with kids. So she says she will either report me OR I can see her 3x a week and go to AA or NA meetings. And that she'd like to see abstinence from me. So much for a safe place. So much for confidentiality. So much for honesty. I give up, I hate everyone :(

 

[Deleted member 32731]

Why would she report you if you aren't a danger? I mean if you smoke weed, she should advise you to try and stop, but not give ultimatums in my opinion

 

[JimmyJohn]

Not to throw shade, but I've had my life torched to the ground by a therapist for roughly the same reason except I used drugs 10 years prior and was clean at the time. Individually people can be grimy, that's for sure but hating the world doesn't help. I wish you the best and although the ultimatum seems sketchy to me at leas they were forthright, some people would just report you and not even give you a chance.

 

[LittleMrsAntisocial]

Dead Link Removed

SHE CAN NOT OR YOU CAN REPORT HER.

 

[driftaway]

Acceptable reasons to break confidentiality..
Where there is good evidence of abuse against children or anyone else in the care of the client
I work with kids. If I show up high. This is neglect. She absolutely can report me.

 

[LittleMrsAntisocial]

You show up high to work?

 

[driftaway]

I smoke in the morning, every morning, even before work.

 

[Suzetig]

Yeah, I think the issue is safety when you're working with children and, honestly, I think she'd struggle ethically not to report you if you're turning up high to work with kids. In many ways she's doing you a favour, the consequences for the child, and for you, if something happened while you were working after smoking could be much worse that therapy and NA meetings.

Can you negotiate x number of NA meeting and seeing her fewer times in a week as I'm guessing there's a cost attached to seeing her which may be prohibitive?

 

[Casey_03]

At first I was going to say she sounds like a terrible therapist, but if you're showing up high to work with kids every morning, she actually should report you. That's screwed up, and if you need it that badly that you can't hold off and smoke AFTER work, it does sound like you need way more help than you're getting right now. NA is actually not a bad idea in these circumstances. I understand that weed can help with anxiety, but if you're with kids right after smoking, something really really bad could happen that would ruin your life. You could end up behind bars or facing some massive civil lawsuit from parents. I know some people say they don't really have any effects from weed, but it still blurs your thinking and makes you generally out of it. Your therapist is being strict but it sounds like she's doing exactly what should be done. You really are at risk of putting others in danger -- and kids, at that. She has every right to break confidentiality to report that. If I were her, I'd do the same.

 

[Casey_03]

I'm sorry, I don't think I was harsh enough in my first response, so here is my really blunt feedback: It seems a bit ridiculous that you would whine about not having a "safe place" when you are knowingly putting kids at risk. Why should you feel entitled to a safe place if you are depriving innocent kids of the same thing? Why would you even portray yourself as the victim in this scenario? Seems a bit rich. I have personal experience with being babysat by someone who was constantly high, and I can say that she seemed to think it was no big deal and didn't affect how she treated kids. But it led to major neglect. Kids would get hurt and she wouldn't react. I once got burned very badly, and to this day, I remember how she just ignored me while I sat there crying. It was really really screwed up. She shouldn't have been allowed to take care of kids while high on weed. I can only hope that the kids you work with are much older and capable of tending to themselves if you are too high. But damn, to come on here, admit you work with kids while high and then expect sympathy because someone threatened to take action -- you need to re-evaluate your priorities if you really think what you're doing is okay and that it's the other people who are wrong.

 

[Sideways]

I hate to join the bandwagon here, but I think maybe she's doing you a favour...Maybe try out what she's suggesting - is there harm in trying it her way?

Before anyone shouts me down with "it doesn't really effect me", if that were true, you'd be waiting till after work before lighting up. It does effect you - that's why you use it.

 

[Pencil]

I work with kids. If I show up high. This is neglect. She absolutely can report me.

And you hate her and the world? I don't want to sound harsh, but really ...