New Therapist Ultimatum

[Brenton]

I saw a new therapist today. She had an ultimatum for me. I disclosed that I smoke weed and work with kid...

I'm really sorry that happened to you. I'm shocked, and that's hard to do. Report her for blackmailing you into more sessions, which = more money.

 

[Sideways]

@Brenton - totally see where you're coming from, and if cost is an issue, it would be reasonable to go back to the T and say "I can't afford what you've proposed, is there another way of dealing with it?"

Blackmail involves a degree of "unjustifiedness" in the threat being made. It's actually really common (and oftentimes, entirely appropriate) for T's to use ultimatums ("Look, if you don't start/stop X, then you leave me in no position but to Y"). That's usually coming from a place of their professional obligations and duty of care.

If the person is not onky breaking the law (is it legal where the OP is?) but putting themselves or others at risk by doing so, the T has a professional obligation to both the patient, and the people at risk, to take this sort of step.

 

[joeylittle]

I work with kids. If I show up high. This is neglect. She absolutely can report me.

I'm just wondering - because clearly, you know the law, here - what made you disclose? I'm not saying you should have lied, just am curious why you gave her the information.

There are other options for medication, if you are currently self-medicating with the marijuana. Only you would be able to speak to whether you think you have an addiction that needs breaking, or not.

 

[EveHarrington]

Is your right to confidentiality above the rights of the children entrusted to your care to be safe?

Please seek help and try to get clean.

 

[Sideways]

Following on from what @joeylittle said, and I could be waaaay off, but is it possible that part of you, maybe just a tiny part, was actually hoping for this kind of response?

Sometimes when I'm talking to my T about my self-harm, I try and give him the most watered-down version possible. But other times, when I kinda know it's out of control, I'll give him every last nasty detail, straight up. Part of my head knows that if I do that, he's gonna be p!ssed at me that I'm doing it again and make threats about hospitalisation etc. But it also means he'll take action, and help me stop, because it's serious.

You know the law. And you've been incredibly frank about the issue: "this is neglect" rather than statements like "I don't use much/use it all the time/use enough that it impairs my thinking..."

Maybe (maybe? Possibly? Possibly not...) somewhere in your head you actually get that this is a problem for you and you'd like some help. P!ssed off about the threat? Sure.

But if there's a small part of your head that was actually hoping for the kind of reaction you're getting to validate a concern you might have that you may need help with this, that's not just okay, that's good. It is a problem. Your T is bang-on telling you to "fix this pronto". So do that. You've got your T's support to deal with this issue if that's what you'd like...

 

[Powder]

Recent work in addiction studies have evidenced more and more that the only way to truly address addiction is via addressing the lack of social bonding for the sufferer.

The void trying to be filled can often be filled with attachment and having one's contributions valued. Those who can't make that connection on their own need it initiated. It could be that the T. felt that by seeing her 3 days and going to meetings the other 2 would provide the maximum treatment for the addiction.

She could have just reported you and not told you she was going to.

You have absolutely nothing to complain about and you are not the victim here. Help was being offered, and your choice was to be angry and hostile.

I would think a moment of anger might occur, but somewhere between that and the post, some thinking should have happened.

Don't work with kids until you have this sorted out because you are putting yourself in the middle of it and making it do or die. Why punish yourself like this?

 

[oasis2003]

If one of my kids had been in your or any ones care while high I would explode and also throw the book at you. How did you get the job ? I also work with children and know that you totally need your faculties all of them . Don't whine just get your self cleaned up or stay high and quit your job. What did you expect people to say? Oh boo goo you have PTSD that gives you the right to mess with children's lives !!

 

[mary1979]

I think your therapist probably has a responsibility to report it.
In Aus reporting is mandatory for anyone in that position I think, they could be in trouble themselves for knowing and not reporting.

I would go as far as to judge you as heavily as others here though, I've been high around my own kids so i don't feel i have a right.

I've never gone to work high ( i dont work with kids) mostly because its illegal to drive on drugs and i need my licence and even after years of smoking, I still have no faith in my ability to do my job stoned.

You should probably get on top of this, the risks are too high.

In time you will see your therapist has done the right thing, you are just in resistance mode right now.

Go get some legal meds for your anxiety/stress levels hun. This makes me laugh inside because some of the legal options I've had over the years have made me more f*cked up and more of a danger to myself and others than weed ever did, but hey, who are us mere mortals to question the system ;)

 

[Bill Dickerson]

I don't particularly care if someone smokes at home but I would be concerned if you used before working with kids. Do you drive to work buzzed?

Would you be concerned if your kid was in the care of someone who boozed with alcohol before work?

 

[oasis2003]

I do not mind how you deal with your own problems and PTSD symptoms. It just concerns me that you are caring for children and being high. I think in the uk people have different attitudes towards smoking weed. It is ok for students but for someone driving and being responsible for children then no. I was not being judgemental it was my total gut reaction . If you want to get high fine but not before work . In the U.K. I think if you drive and are stoned there can be a jail sentence involved . When Woking with children there are so many checks and references needed .