New To This Site And Need Major Help!!!

[Lauren12]

Hello, I am very new to this site. But I thought I would give it a try and hopefully seek out some much needed advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for many years and have experienced deployments and him leaving for extended amounts of time for training. He has never been diagnosed with PTSD because he refuses to seek treatment. However, it is clear to myself and other loved ones that this is the case.

The problems began to really magnify during his last deployment toward the very end of the deployment. I was so excited for his return home, unfortunately it was nowhere near the homecoming I had hoped for for so long. He was a different person all the way around and it came as a total shock to me.

Fast forward many months and I began to see slight improvements until he left again for training. I see him totally shutting down and distancing himself from me, barely speaking to me when we are able to call or Skype. It's like there is a huge wall that I can't break down. I so badly want to connect with him and not give up on him but I am not sure how I can pull through.

He won't ask me about my life, my new job, family nothing. It is so hurtful and I try not to take it personally but I find it difficult not to.

Now, out of no where he is refusing to take my call or answer a text. We had no fight, nothing at all. I feel so alone and I'm losing the small amount of hope I had left. I love this man dearly, and would never want to leave him.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of distancing and stopping all communication for days on end considering we speak regularly everyday, multiple times a day??? Please if anyone can share any advice or insight that would be wonderful.

Thank you

 

[saffy]

Hi Lauren 12

I haven't any experience of what you are going through but can imagine it is hard for you to come to terms with and understand.

There is supporters forums on here to look at that might help you as a supporter of someone with possible PTSD. The support might at least give you some insight and some skills to be able to deal with this and how to approach your partner.

I hope you find the help you need to go forward in a more positive way.
best of luck

Saffy :)

 

[vikingr12]

I am also new but find the supporter forums helpful so I get a perspective of what my PTSD does to others. My wife is divorcing me for other reasons which I find quite bizarre such a not getting enough money, not getting her a job -- as if I was the one responsible for her every need. Checking in with the supporter forums helped me gain the perspective that it's really not me. My wife is Chinese and just cannot adjust to American ways.

And that makes my PTSD very difficult to control. I have had success with EMDRIA, a REM cycle dissociation technique but it's not a cure all.

I did notice her pulling away from me as your husband is. It's called detachment. He is probably seeing things he cannot talk about even if they were polite conversation and had nothing to do with battle trauma.

The best I can say is join in the supporter groups, give him some space, and hope for the best.