New With Lots Of Years Damaged

[strongwoman]

i do i only drink twice a month but this time i got drunk drunk..when i do drink i drink about 3 beers and then stop cause it taste nasty after time. i know and you are right, we have been in the same spot, my husband and i and he has been verbally abusive when drinking. i noticed i had a problem and i stoped for a very long time. i lash out more when im sobar now.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Strongwoman and welcome.

I too don't handle drink very well, and have had to stop for now....

 

[strongwoman]

its wierd too cause he knows what to say to set me off when i drink. then he says its the alcohol.. i have stopped and have total control but drunk or not.. i dont like being picked at to be blown up!! im so angry at him and hurt by his actions awhile ago..
I just told him that his daughter is suicidal and her thereapist wants us to take her to family services tomorow and see if shes gonna get held for a 5150.. and i got blamed for all this shit! .. that since i took her to the therapist that "i" started all this.. i hate when the person i love and soppose to trust hurts me.. :(

 

[WonderingWhy]

Welcome Strongwoman! Hope things are improving.

 

[strongwoman]

Welcome Strongwoman! Hope things are improving.

well it got better in his eyes cause he said sorry and thats that.. we try to talk but it dosent help.. shes not home now. shes in bakersfield with her brother but it feeld like he just pawned her off to him.. idk, maybe im wrong and i wouldnt be upset if i was. i have my own mental problems plus a full load. sometimes i feel like im doing it all at times. i just feel like shutting down.. like just not saying anything to fight the problmes between us and im tired!! :(

 

[strongwoman]

Hi Strongwoman and welcome.

I too don't handle drink very well, and have had to stop for now....

i have went through the detox of alcohol last year, hurts and very awful, i couldnt stop the urge to drink, i couldnt stop the constent" wheres the beer, is there going to be beer there, how much" questions.
Now I can, I can see beer and not think of drinking it, I can be around it and not drink.. it feels great that i have that control!! but getting drunk and acting a fool, no matter how many times is when i fail. i have came a long way and happy of my accomplishments and falls, it makes me stronger!!

 

[WonderingWhy]

Is he usually more supportive? I hope so.Link Removed You have to surround yourself by supportive people. Do you know if your daughter is depressed/suicidal because of an event or just because of chemicals? The reason I ask is not for an answer, but for you to think about. Obviously if it's just chemical meds can help. If something happened then she must also work thru that. It's also possible she may still need to be protected from someone or something. I hope I don't sound prying, just trying to give my opinion. Sometimes things are hard to see when you are so close, and it can take someone else to put it out there. I hope I have helped in some way.

 

[strongwoman]

Is he usually more supportive? I hope so.:( You have to surround yourself by supportive people. Do you know if your daughter is depressed/suicidal because of an event or just because of chemicals? The reason I ask is not for an answer, but for you to think about. Obviously if it's just chemical meds can help. If something happened then she must also work thru that. It's also possible she may still need to be protected from someone or something. I hope I don't sound prying, just trying to give my opinion. Sometimes things are hard to see when you are so close, and it can take someone else to put it out there. I hope I have helped in some way.

she is deppresd cause her mom passed away in 09 and its just been down hill for her. yes my husband is supportive but at times hes not. i get like that to towards him and its not right for both of us. we try to be sopportive and its hard. marriage is hard but im pulling through and will do as much as i can till it the last straw..

 

[strongwoman]

((((wonderingWhy)))
its kind of weird that it tooke us so long to figure out why we were so mentally messed up cause we speacialize in this area, My husband and i are both Psychiatric Technicians(mental health nurse). but when it hits home its totally different.. we had to step out of the box and look at what we were doing to ourselves and each other. we will make it :)

 

[WonderingWhy]

You both have a lot going on!Link Removed It sounds like you are headed in the right direction. I wish you all the best. Hang in there!Link Removed

 

[Hlost]

Welcome StrongWoman :)

I am sorry to hear about your daughter's mother passing, I can imagine how upsetting it must be for her but you must clearly care for her to have taken such healthy steps to help her, good on you. It can be so difficult to see what helps others and not ourselves. I find the simple act of writing it down in black and white with the date tends to make it real for me. It can be oddly difficult to do, I think because it makes it so real. Making things real for me often means making real decisions to make changes and I am not always prepared to do that, often out of fear.

It sounds like you are always looking for solutions and it can be difficult when things get muddied up with button pushing. I made that a rule that just is not allowed in my relationships because I consider it "below the belt" and I cannot afford purposeful sidelining in my recovery. It's not healthy for me or the other person. But that's just me and one of the decisions I had made in my relationships awhile ago.

I wish you peace,
Hlost