Sufferer Newbie

[Hayls29]

Well I am new to this I only found the site about five minutes ago. Just looking for a bit of support and advice really. I have been diagnosed with PTSD but have never been offered any help other than a 12 week wait on a counselling program which even then I might not get a place. I have had this for around 18 months pretty much since the birth of my son, the cause of my PTSD. It took me until last month to admit I had a problem, I've seen the doctor on several occasion previously but I always dumbed it down as I was apprehensive to tell them my true feelings. I still now feel someone of a ptsd "fraud" simply because I live in a military environment and its socially viewed as a veterans disorder not a new mums.

I feel awful because I believed for ages I wasn't good enough to have the label how stupid is that, it's an illness what can affect anyone but for me I felt I wasn't even worthy enough to be in the same category of heroes who have seen the effects of war. There still isn't much support for mothers who get ptsd from traumatic childbirth. I really don't know where to go with it now , I have a doctors appointment this week but I'm apprehensive about the sort of help I need to be asking for. I really need some form of help I'm getting to the point I am forcing myself to stay awake until the early hours and then up at 6am for my little one, all because I hate the nightmares. I'm constantly twitchy and get aggravated from various scenarios especially being in open spaces where there are a lot of people, I don't understand why. My emotions are driving me wild as well the smallest things make me cry happiness/sadness when I've always been pretty straight laced and unemotional and the next minute I don't know if I love my husband of 8 years when he's trying his hardest and I just push him away. Pretty much stuck in a rut!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Welcome. You are lucky to have found this forum. It has been so helpful and supportive and much wisdom is found here. It has speeded up my healing and recovery.

I hope you get the help you seek but you do need to be diagnosed as soon as possible. I hope the forum helps you as much as it has helped me.

 

[Hayls29]

Thank you gizmo

 

[Deleted member 12723]

You are welcome.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@Hayls29 firstly welcome to the forum :)

I have PTSD from survival of CSA and other abuses as a child. I also have Combat PTSD as I served for the UK Armed Forces as a younger man. I like you never dreamed I could have PTSD from anything but my service years but here I am with very complex issues.

Take comfort that there are many sufferers like you on this forum and you will get loads of support and help just like I did.

:hug:s if you accept them.

Laurie

 

[Hayls29]

I'm UK based too, thank you for your message it means a lot to know I'm not on my own its quite hard talking to family as a lot don't understand or think that it's simply hormones lol!

 

[GWhizz]

You are not a fraud at all. Childbirth can be traumatic and nowadays midwives/medics are trained to warn about flashbacks etc that can occur as a result. I know all my midwives after the birth of my son 9 months ago, warned me about potential flashbacks. Thankfully for me, I did not view it as traumatic in the way that they saw it. Though I do think having a baby maybe triggered other issues. Also, the sleepless nights and exhaustion that parenting brings don't give you much time to self care and deal with your feelings about your birthing experience. You deserve time to heal from this and truly deal with your emotions on it. I'm glad you have a supportive husband. Please do your best to accept his attempts to be there for you in this. I really hope you're not left waiting too long to see a counsellor. Hugs

 

[Meadowsweet]

@Hayis29, it is common for people with PTSD to dumb it down and feel guilty for what they are experiencing. But you shouldn't. If it helps you to see it this way, your little one will get more from you getting better, and you can get better.

When you go to the doctors, just tell them everything that you are experiencing, including nightmares about the birth, so that they understand what your feelings are related to.

Be warned, in the UK, there are huge waiting lists to be diagnosed, then more waiting for treatment. But while you wait, there is here,

 

[Hayls29]

Thank you, feeling a bit apprehensive about going as I'm going on my own as my husband is away at the moment. I think this group is going to be incredibly helpful for me as I do feel extremely isolated at the moment my family is miles away with a 6 hour drive between us and I haven't really got any friends in the area I am at now. It's like a vicious circle.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Hayls29,

Welcome to the forum!

It is pretty normal to question the validity of the diagnosis and honesty just reading about PTSD you will find that it isn't limited to just one type of trauma. I hope you keep you appointment today, as therapy is one of the most effective means of treating trauma. I also hope you find a good therapist.

This forum is a great source of information and support.

Debbie

 

[Caterpillar]

Welcome to the forums. I've also often felt I don't "deserve" the same diagnosis as people who've survived things like child abuse and rape. In fact, I denied the diagnosis for years because I didn't feel anything "bad enough" had happened to me to justify PTSD. Denying it only worsened my symptoms over time, though. I'm really glad you're getting some help.

 

[Hayls29]

Thank you. I seem to have got worse over the week with the stress of knowing that I am going to have to talk through it all as I have never really fully opened up about it. Unsure of whether I want my partner there or not. I think he does struggle a lot with it all and sometime avoids any conversation about it.