Undiagnosed No Self-confidence, Lost House, Savings And Demoted At Work

[Futuristic]

My heart is pounding because I am afraid to talk about everything. But I just have to in order to get on with my life. After searching on the internet for help, I came across this forum. I have read many of the posts, and it seems to me that I am on the right forum?

In 2011 me and my husband were sequestrated and lost our home and all our savings, which was very traumatic. We both are within our fifties. A few months after that, in August last year, I was demoted in an unfair manner in the managerial job I have been doing for 20 years, which was also my passion. I had no chance to defend myself and was horribly shocked. My whole world came tumbling down. According to the therapist I had a nervous breakdown 3 weeks after that. I didn't even know what a nervous breakdown is, and can't remember exactly what happened.

Needless to say I now don't have any self-confidence. I start shaking even when I am with friends, which is very embarrassing. I can't even eat with people or hold a cup without shaking. I am shaking as I am typing here. My handwriting has deteriorated terribly. Sometimes I can't even write, especially when people are looking at me. I avoid being with people or have any social contact, especially at work.

Then I also started stuttering. I forget words and hardly can express myself. Sometimes when talking I forget what I was saying or about to say. I also can not remember many things that have happened in the past. I have lost every piece of self-confidence I had.

I wake up every night scared and shaking, and drenched with sweat. I also started losing weight.

And lately I am very bad-tempered, and really make it difficult for people to be around me.

Because of all these symptoms I went to the doctor for help. Any blood test that could be done, was done, but it showed that I am healthy.

I am being successfully treated for high blood pressure and severe depression for years. I have never previously experienced the symptoms I have described above.

I feel as if my life has ended forever. I will appreciate any help I can get, because I am desperate to try and live a normal life again.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum. Also, well done one introducing yourself.

I would suggest you ask your doctor to refer you to a psychologist for a diagnosis. No-one here can say if you have PTSD or not. There is however loads of great information and support.

Wishing you well.

 

[Jacnic]

Welcome to the forum, Futuristic!

 

[intothelight]

Hi Futuristic,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

I would suggest that you seek the opinion of a psychiatrist for a diagnosis. Because they are a medical doctor, if they believe there are also physical issues that need to be addressed, they can refer you to the appropriate specialists. Getting a diagnosis is the first step in setting up a treatment plan and getting better.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[Futuristic]

Thank you so much everyone! I appreciate your kindness.

I have been at a psychiatrist, who actually went with me through all the ordeals, but she did not seem to think that the symptoms were serious or that it is related to PTSD. I got the impression that nothing can be done to relief the symptoms, because I am already using anti-depressants and that I just have to accept it. That is why I went to my doctor for help, but no physical problem could be found. I actually have never heard of PTSD. I learned about it when I was searching the web in order to see what my symptoms are related to and what I can do to help myself.

I feel so discouraged and at the same time desperate. All I know is that I can not carry on like this. I think my depression is quite under control, but how do I manage to control these symptoms as it is so embarrassing.

I named myself Futuristic, as I want to believe there is hope.

 

[rainy_daze]

Welcome Futuristic.

You can always go back to your psychiatrist and ask for further testing, as from your post it looks like you told her about the events that lead to now but not about the anxiety type symptoms, such as stuttering, difficulty with being social and other things you mentioned, and your doctor has ruled out physical.

Even if you don't have PTSD, sounds like you are going through a lot. I hope it is ok to point you towards this thread about the dangers of self-diagnosing [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/self-diagnosis-is-not-an-option.13882/[/DLMURL]; I think I have only read the first post by Anthony maybe, but it makes a lot of sense.

I hope you can find the help and advice you need to control the symptoms you are having since your breakdown, and I wish you all the best in beginning to recover from the stressful things that have happened to you in recent years.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome. :)

 

[Futuristic]

Thank you so much everyone! With this you have already helped and supported me. I will do as suggested, and if necessary give feedback. You all are stunning people! Wish I could meet all of you personally.

Keep up the good work!

 

[cdg]

Continue to expose yourself to those situations. It will eventually pass. It's still fresh.