Sufferer Not Feeling Love

[JFUSS]

I have a new born baby, but I don't know if I love her yet. All of the feelings I think someone should have with the birth of a newborn is just not there.

I keep telling myself that with time when she gets older and can interact with me, maybe the feelings will grow. But the thing is I don't feel love anywhere, when I meet someone the butterfly feelings is there once my mental banter is being met.

I am often labeled cold because I apply logic instead of emotion.

 

[intothelight]

Hi JFUSS,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

PTSD can result in emotional numbing, but it also isn't unusual for a new parent to take time to bond with their child. I don't know if you are currently receiving counseling or not, but this would be a good subject to address with a therapist.

I hope you find the information and support here helpful.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Sick of Fear]

It's definitely not unusual to not experience the immediate gushes of love that people come to expect. In fact, it happens more common than people realize. It is just not discussed as much because it's such a huge expectation that people have, that when they don't experience it, they immediately begin to doubt themselves.

Speak with a professional about it before jumping to conclusions, and I wish you and your little one the best.

 

[Pencil]

Before my daughter was born I was very anxious to meet her, and see what she looked like. When she was born I felt absolutely nothing. Then one day, when she as about 2 weeks old, I was stroking her feet while she lay on my lap and I fell in love.

Is this your first? I think it is especially common with a first child.

 

[IraqMedic68]

JFUSS, congratulations on the birth of your baby girl! I have several friends and even close family members who experienced very similar concerns that you expressed in your thread. I do know that they all were very concerned and after seeking counseling they pretty much received the same response; what your feeling is normal. Interestingly enough most of my friends who experienced this were very analytical and logical thinkers. Not really the mooshy types with emotions. For most of them, just talking to others really helped as well.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

JFUSS, Congratulation! What you are feeling it totally normal! You just met this little person who is dependent on you 24-7. We are all intimidated at first, but love grows, I promise!

There are the 'baby blues', but a lot of that is the hormones being all wacky due to what your body has been through. Try to get as much sleep as you can. When the baby sleeps, YOU sleep. Everything else can wait.

Blessings of Peace & Love being sent you way!
AKJ

P.S. My profile pic is my son with my first grandchild. Very soon, you will feel love like you never have before. :hug:

 

[IraqMedic68]

Bravo AngelkeeperJ, that was very well put.

Adam

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[a3a2]

Hey, JFUSS, welcome to the forum. And congratulations. Those early days of parenting can be rough!

I remember wondering what in the heck I was suppose to say and do with this kid, when my first was born. I ended up endlessly babbling nursery rhymes because I didn't know what to say or do. Later I learned that one of the best indicators of how well a child will do in school is how well they knew nursery rhymes BEFORE they entered kindergarten.

I would consider seeing a doc to rule out "baby blues" as someone else mentioned. I know the huge hormonal shift can really be paralyzing for some.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome. :)

 

[JFUSS]

No this is not my first child, I have a son that is 10 yrs old. During the pregnancy wasn't telling anyone about the baby because at 18 weeks she was almost aborted due to medical problems the mother was having, and I started not thinking about coming home with a baby because the doctor said the chances of her living is not good.