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Not In A Good Place..

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Hopeful85

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I'm having a really rough night tonight. I had therapy today and while the session wasn't hard at all, it stirred up stuff. Now, I'm having flashbacks and tons of intrusive thoughts.. I wrote in my journal but that seems to have only made things worse. I tried some distractions, (watched movies, texted a friends)but nothing has worked. My depression is revved up and I don't know what to do. I just feel I'm about to loose it. :/ I'm not sure if I have a question, or just wanting some help. I just need to know how to cope to get through these feelings tonight.
 
If sitting still doing anything is tough, can you get up and walk or dance or run?

Movement helps me. And it changes your chemistry if you are flooded with stress hormones. Even walking back and forth in a room works, especially watching your feet. Music at the same time can be a big help.

Screaming into a pillow gets out stress. Kicking out or boxing your arms.

There are a couple books I reread that pull me to a still center. But it sounds like you might need to move.

I hope you feel better. I know it can feel unbearable but this will pass. You must find the least painful way to live until then.
 
(((Hopeful)))

When distractions aren't working for me after a T session and flashbacks, I find that acceptance of how I feel along with getting in my pajamas, getting comfort food, laying down with a cozy blanket and popping in an inspirational, lighthearted, or teeny bopper film works every time. But accepting how you feel and knowing that it is okay. It is normal and you aren't crazy. You will not lose all control.

Know that. It will not last forever. Tell yourself that. The fog will lift and you will feel better.

P.S. I just went through this a few days ago. <3
 
Hi Hopeful,

Hang in there.

Did your therapist give you any containment or grounding exercises before you left?

Hold on. It is hard.

I struggled with this stuff this morning.

Over time you will get better at managing this stuff but it takes time.

Be really kind to yourself.
 
We have done containment/grounding exercises before, but not yesterday. It wasn't even that tough of session, but we did go through a list of events, which I think thinking about later, was highly triggering. Today I am a little better. Def. not as depressed. Thank God! I ended up opening up to my husband about how I was feeling, (something I don't normally do). That helped some. Maybe just verbalizing what I was experiencing.

I know going through this process of healing my past traumas are worth it, however, it just completely sucks. It's so painful some days. I just want a life where it's not surrounded by triggers of painful memories.
 
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Sorry you had to go through this. Sometimes it is the small things that can bring about a bunch of emotions. They just add up. I always feel wiped after my sessions and sometimes I think, but they weren't that bad or bad at all. I'm glad you had your husband to open up to. It isn't easy. My spouse is there after every session in case I want to talk. It helps. I think I just need to get some things out of my head. It looks like that is what you needed. Why does everything have to be worse there?!

I'm glad you are better. Even if just for today. Each day counts.
 
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