Not sure if it is all worth it, will thing really ever get better

[recoveringfromptsd]

Yes, I am stable, with 3 T's and a Trauma group (facilitator is on mobile crisis team), it's hard for me go very long unstable before someone intervenes, so I have a great safety need. As for coping skills, we yes I have them and are using them, if I was not my thoughts would have been more than thoughts, and I probably would end up being inpatient again. I am trying to not use hold coping skills that protected me from the pain. And using distress tolerance, TIP skills, and radical acceptance to cope with this stuff, it's hard and painful though, and at times I just want it all to go away. And as you know I have my fears of failure.

If I reach a point where I am unsafe, I have a fridge full of the resources to call (like mobile crisis) on the front. I am not at that stage, I am just overwhelmed by emotions I used to suppress. And it's hard on me.

This stuff is so hard on me, I want to numb and can't, any means to numb won't work because I am on Naltrexone. So I have no choice but to allow myself to hurt all over again.

 

[joeylittle]

@recoveringfromptsd - you're BPD/PTSD Comorbid, right? Do you have a sense of how much your view on things is being brought down by the BPD?

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@joeylittle I don't carry a BPD DX. Only PTSD (c-ptsd) & Bi-Polar I

My morbid view on life comes from the desire to be done with life, so I tend for now to bounce from that view to a hope view. But I don't think I am the only one who feels like this.

 

[joeylittle]

Ah sorry - I must be remembering bipolar as BPD. My mistake.

 

[Susan M. Higa]

@EveHarrington

You are so wise and I learn a tremendous amount from you sharing your experiences.

It is really hard at some points but carrying on does make it better over time.

 

[NightSky]

The only way to the other side is through it. I know the weight of previously suppressed emotions can feel unbearable. But you're strong enough to bear it because you've gotten this far. You can't really heal until you allow those feelings and know through them you will be okay. You will be better than you were before you allowed yourself to feel them.