Out Of Touch And Stupid

[LIllabeth]

I learned long ago to use the fact that there is a double standard for ladies to my advantage..... When they ask me if I am going to hurt myself or someone else I reply "No, I only find I have the uncontrollable urge to beat some mother f*cker with another mother f*cker, but unfortunately I lack the upper body strength" and frown. Since this is obviously true, they move quickly on to another question

(Sorry about the cussing lol)

 

[dutchiedelta]

You could still kick them Lillabeth.

 

[LIllabeth]

I am certainly not a fragile flower by any stretch of the imagination, goodness me! Truth be known, I most certainly could beat one MoFo with another if provoked and enjoy it (followed by dancing naked while I burn their house/ village to the ground etc etc) but sometimes it certainly works to my advantage to employ a little "shock and awe" as it is not the response they are expecting from a female officer so they get flustered and just move on which I most certainly want them to do

 

[Sludge]

"Sludge, do you feel safe?"

"Sure, but Hello Kitty has my arm and won't give it back."

 

[Spock]

Sadly, they are required by law due to our lawsuit happy climate.

It means nothing and is just one more bit of red tape. Here is how I handle the Standard VA questions.

Do you ever have thoughts of harming yourself or others?
"Well, I was trained as a weapons technician..."

Do you feel safe at home?
"Yup. But you folks always drag me in here and I have to spend a week hiding in the basement to recover."

Any drug, or alcohol abuse?
"I was a sailor, you tell me. I can't remember..."

Do you smoke?
"Got a light?"

Always gets a laugh from the poor intake nurses that have to ask all that crap.

Once I was asked if I heard voices in my head. I told the Doc, yes, but they tell me to answer "no" to everything. He laughed and flipped me the bird.

Try it sometime. Those poor overworked bastards need a laugh too once in a while.

Golden!!! :LOL:(y)

 

[Friday]

"Sludge, do you feel safe?"

"Sure, but Hello Kitty has my arm and won't give it back."

Break out the Thorazine suppositories!

You ever plan say that, and swear to god, I will fly out there just to watch what happens.

 

[Sludge]

Got an appointment with neurology in a month, I'll use that one then.

 

[LIllabeth]

Hello Kitty has some mad ninja skills ;)

 

[Sludge]

Note that HK is also short for "Hunter-Killer"...:cautious:

 

[Spock]

She's a killer kitty that one! (y):cool:

 

[BaMuoiBa]

I'm pissing my pants and it's not because my missing Prostate. They should use this thread for VA Interviews 101. Thanks I needed that:p:p:p:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: