Over Protective Parenting

[holdenmonty]

So I have a question for you guys. I was wondering if any of you guys struggle with being an over protective parent? I ask because when my three year old was born he was two months early and spent the first month of his life in the hospital growing until he was big enough to go home. I tend to be that over protective dad of him and his brother. I feel like I have to protect them from the world. Such as when we go to the mall they have this play area for kids that are about three feet and shorter but kids a lot taller play in there and I feel like I have to kind of hover over my boys to make sure they don't get hurt. I know that some of my worries are silly because they need to learn to take care of theirselves to an extent and that they are ok but I worry that if I don't watch over them then something terrible will happen.

 

[Friday]

Over protective? Absolutely. But I took a different tack; doesn't protect anyone to teach them helplessness.

For the record, I did not go all John Connor Terminator levels. <grin> But probably only because I kept things fun. And age appropriate. (Mostly). And I had a rather lacked supply of helicopters. ;) But I hit every area I could. Physically, academically, linguistically, situational awareness, creative problem solving, house work, team work, etc. We had a helluva good time. I've yet to find many things in life that can't be turned into a game, made fun, if ya put your mind to it.

It's what I call 'running with it'. When I was afraid he'd get knocked down? Instead of telling myself I'm paranoid & knock it off... I enrolled him / them in knock down sports, so he could learn to fall. Which sport depended on the kid & what they liked. 2 birds & 1 stone : solved my paranoia, and taught them valuable skills. Note the plural. Did that for any and every area that bothered me.

“To give a child liberty is not to abandon him to himself.”
- Maria Montessori

Toddlers though, man, are like being on 24/7 accidental-suicide-watch. It's amazing any of us ever survive our childhoods.

 

[holdenmonty]

Thanks Friday that does help me feel better.

 

[Friday]

One thing about parenting... It's all a f*cking learning curve that's almost straight upward. Doesn't matter whether you're 20 or 40, everyone is new. I cannot even count the number of times I flat out did the wrong thing. Pretty much any "first"? Caught flat footed, by surprise, do the wrong thing, and then beat the hell out of myself later. I learned to expect that. Not that I quit beating myself up. But I did learn to recover faster. Okay. I hated how I did that. So next time let's try ABC. If that still sucks? XYZ. Okay. Closer. How about ABXY? Phew! Yep. That one. Okay. We've got this. Whether it's at home, on the playground, at school? Doesn't matter. You're learning just like they are. And as soon as you've mastered any stage your kids are going through? It's time for a new stage! Target changes. And you have to revamp everything you do.

 

[holdenmonty]

That is so very true. Just realized that with potty training it was such a struggle getting our three year old to be potty trained and one day I said the right thing even though I don't remember what it was but he's wearing "big boy" underwear now with spiderman on them and he even sleeps in them and has only had one accident and that was because he was having so much fun playing that he didn't want to stop playing to go to the bathroom.