Overwhelmed And I Think I Just Quit Therapy

[qwyoey]

So do you feel abandoned by your current therapist because he doesn't understand your needs?

 

[whiteraven]

So do you feel abandoned by your current therapist because he doesn't understand your needs?

Not because he doesn't understand them. Because when I tried to fully explain them over and over again, he kept going back to the same thing. That everything was up to me. And, while I understand that *in theory*, it doesn't really help to just hear that repeatedly. i need some sort of tools to help me get there.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

Not because he doesn't understand them. Because when I tried to fully explain them over and over aga...

That is why you need EMDR. With EMDR the positive belief moves inside your body not just in your head.

 

[qwyoey]

i need some sort of tools to help me get there.

So do you have like a concrete list of the "there" you mention? What do you need FIRST?

 

[talon]

I'm really trying to approach life with the understanding that it's how we perceive and respond to s...

continuity is very important because starting again will not help you. Growing through old stuff will just make you feel shit and could set you back and make life so much harder. What you have written needs to be shared with therapist and doctor and it would not be a bad idea to share the fact you have done this. This may remind them as professionals why they exist and the reasons why. You are the patient so you should be their priority. Thinking positively is what is needed but that is easy when you have the tools to do so. Make them earn their salaries. No professional likes to be seen as less than competent so playing one against the other might break the deadlock . I wish you well

 

[FireSign8]

Many years ago, I went through a similar time in my life & what I did is quit. I got sick of the rhetorical phycho babble that medical people & mental health people were bombarding me with & walked naked (alone) back into life without the "help" of the people who were getting paid quite well to assist me in my time of need & inner turmoil. I stayed in homeless shelters & slept under abandoned houses until my disability benefits case was finally approved & then I got on a bus & went to a town I knew had cheap rent. I then rented a hotel room for a week while & applied for government sponsored low income housing. I got my studio & moved in with nothing but the backpack I had & it taught me that I can make a mess of my life anytime I choose to, but for now/then, I have chosen to make my life as mellow as possible & not push myself to fit someone else's mold & idea of how I should be living with my PTSD & other health issues.

I have given up on western medicine completely because it's all about medicating, shaming & experimentation until the patient either gets worse or dies trying to get better. f*ck it. I'm almost 65 now & still alive due to ME IGNORING the so called professionals advice & going it alone. If I die tomorrow, at least I will be happy to be rid of the shaming the doctors & nurses try to force down people's throats & the incorrect entries they have placed into my medical records. No one will fix or change what a doctors enters. Even if a person shows proof & wants their file corrected, the clinic staff & records department refuses to right their wrongs. So I just left & I still get my check every month for my physical disabilities. I am afraid to get a mental health assessment for fear they will give me to an agency who will dole out my money for a fee & I will loose what little freedom I have left to live my life as I see fit.

Anyway, I would never tell anyone to live their life as I live mine, but only YOU can decide if you want to keep yourself in the presence of people who show you little to no respect. You are their CLIENT. You are not their friend. I finally realized that therapists are a lot like mechanics. Some can change a tire, some can give great tune-ups, others can replace parts...but the best ones can build the piece that fits the car because each car is different & each owner of that car wants different stuff on in for different reasons. Once you learn to be happy with what you have (I found) that if the car I am driving gets me from point A to point B...then I don't care about the fancy extras or upscale parts. The originals are just fine. Otherwise, I need to get a bus pass & that's fine too! But I still have to trust that the driver can do their job & I don't get mugged at the next stop!

 

[Sugerapple]

I'm really trying to approach life with the understanding that it's how we perceive and respond to s...

Trust him, WhiteRaven, trust your therapist. Keep on going. Trust him. And try, try, try to go see another psychiatrist. Is your therapist able to help you find one most suitable for you?

I say the above because you have said that for about 4.5 years you found your therapist helpful. You appear, then to have trusted him during that period. That you've been going through a fallow period is not uncommon. That you feel unable to trust anyone at the moment, even your therapist, is an understandable reaction to what you have most recently experienced, you don't trust (feel safe) in your own home.
Trust your therapist. He knows you. He is working with you (as hard as that may seem from his most recent communication with you). Continue with him.
All the best to you x

 

[whiteraven]

continuity is very important because starting again will not help you. Growing through old stuff w...

Thanks. I have already shared this - not this particular post, but everything I've written here - with my therapist. Multiple times.

@FireSign8 I really like what you said here. And yeah, I'm about there, too. There's only one problem. I'm NOT happy. I'm miserable. And I somehow have to figure out how to manage caring enough to stay alive in the midst of all these assholes that don't give a shit about me. 'Cause I only minimally care about me.

Trust him, WhiteRaven, trust your therapist. Keep on going. Trust him. And try, try, try to go see another psych...

Thank you. I can't even listen to his voice without crying right now, though. I don't know how to trust him. And no, he wasn't able to refer me to anyone. Said he didn't really know anyone. Not that I wanted to see anyone anyway.

Seems the longer I stay away - I haven't even emailed him in about 3 weeks, since he never responded to my last one - the less I want to go back....

 

[Deleted member 8714]

Hello whiteraven,
Sorry to hear about your ID theft. Been there and done that with a woman across the country from me. No money to pursue her and too far away; 3000 miles. I had ID Theft Insurance at the time so they scrubbed my ID. The woman only used my SS# and nothing else which the ID scrubbers said was quite unusual. Apparently she latched onto it because hers was toast from multiple failed loans on vehicles. Odd thing is; her SS# is one different from mine and the number looks like mine if you wrote it sloppy. Creepy.

On healing from therapeutic abuse:
I had that happen to me back when I first started therapy in 1988. The second therapist I saw in 1989 and then for two years turned out to be a control freak. She really messed me up and betrayed me in so many ways. I only stayed with her because she knew about DID. No one back then knew about DID.

It took several years with a therapist to work through what happened to me. My new therapist told me that I had to work through the therapeutic abuse before I could work on anything else. That pissed me off big time. So I spent about five years dealing with the aftermath of therapeutic abuse. It probably took longer than most people because I dissociated. I had to work through the abuse with all of my dis-abilities from my original abuse. Man that was hard at times. Plus stuff she did to me pinged on stuff that was done to me as a child. So I got triggered talking about and working through it.

I still have horrible memories about that therapist and her behind-my-back tactics of trying to get me committed to a psych ward. I don't know if I'll ever get over that. It's just plain f---ing crazy what that woman tried to do to me. The ultimate in betrayal and trying to enlist my husband's help on the side, making him sign the papers. :eek: Thankfully he stopped all contact with her and refused to sign a thing. That therapist believed that no one could have gone through what I went through. That was her reasoning behind getting me committed. She thought I was insane. Luckily my husband decided to believe me.

Anyway, healing can be found through seeing a therapist about another therapist. It can be done. Mileage varies depending on the person and also what happened to them as a child.

 

[whiteraven]

Hi Incongruous,
Sorry you had issues with identity theft, too. I am finding the aftermath and clean-up more stressful than the actual theft at this point; no one knows what they are doing, nor seems to care. It's really frustrating. Add to that my general lack of support right now, and I'm just not handling anything very well right now emotionally.

Wow...I'm so sorry about your situation with the therapist! It absolutely amazes me that some of these "professionals" are still practicing.

I'm still not clear about where I stand with my therapist. I've had therapists before that were clearly abusive (the therapist that diagnosed me with DID actually threw something at me the day I stopped seeing him), but I rather think this one and I have just been on different pages in the same book.

I still feel extremely unsafe generally around almost everyone, and like I have nowhere to go to talk and have to be very careful about what I say for fear of being belittled or yelled at or reminded that no one can help me and that I'm always complaining and not positive enough andandand. It's really scary to be in this place. To not feel like there is a soul who can just hear me.