General Paranoid That New Guy Might Have Ptsd

[Prettysmile]

Hey guys. Well My sufferer and I have officially been broken up for a month. After a 2yr long rollercoaster ride of emotions in our relationship I called it quits. We tried to be friends but had the biggest fall out two weeks ago and I have not heard from him since. My birthday came and went and he didnt even call or text to say Happy Birthday. I really wasnt expecting him to but I was sure hoping he would.

Anyhow its only been a month and out the blue I met this really nice and very attractive guy. We are not dating. Only getting to know each other. After we spoke a few times over the phone he revealed to me that he is a veteren. He has been out the marine corp for 9 yrs. He said he did serve in Iraq but not Afganastan. Immediatly I became paranoid thinking " oh no not again. Did I just attract another marine who might have ptsd?" I didnt ask him though. Incase he did I didnt want to have him feel any type of way. I asked him if he was in the infantry and his reply was " no way". He was some kind of electrician of something in the marines.

I think I was drawn to him because he reminds me alot of my ex, also a marine who suffers from combat ptsd. This new guy seem to have his life together. very relaxed, funny and charming. He has a great Job and so far I havent seen any signs of him having ptsd. But I've only known him a week. Does anyone know what percentage of our service men and women who return from combat and has ptsd? I dont want to pre-judge this guy because of my expierence with my ex. Its way to soon to start anything new with anyone anyways. But just incase we develop into anything more. I want to make sure I am not doing the same thing all over again looking for different results. I believe that would make me insane. Truthfully, I am not over my marine just yet. So I will just lay back and see what happens. No rush.

 

[ISupportHer]

I don't have any insight on combat PTSD.

Not trying to step where I shouldn't but I was interested in your statement that you were drawn to the new guy because he reminds you of the ex. I mean, I'm glad you have that insight, but I hope you take a long look at why that may be.

ISH

 

[Nicolette]

I agree with ISH.

You might be attracting and looking for what you are missing. Be careful. While some characteristics are important, you might find yourself attracted to some "unhealthy". I found I attracted abusers as that is what I knew and felt comfortable with.

I wouldn't go for someone totally opposite to whom you like - just watch out for the prickly bits which you don't need or want in your life again if you hate rollercoaster rides. :rolleyes:

 

[Prettysmile]

He reminds me of my ex because they have very similar physical features. My ex was never abusive to me and in two years the only time he insulted me was the argument we had two weeks ago. What I am a sucker for is the attention. He is very similar to my ex with the over kill of compliments, and that gentlemen type quality. The kind that open doors and pull out chairs for women. I dont know if thats a militray thing but I see those simaliarties between them.

My ex and I are not together, not because he was a bad person but because he thinks I deserve better. He says he cant handle a relationship right now while he is in therapy. I couldnt take him always pushing me away. Him going for weeks with no communication with me. I couldnt take the heart ache of always having him leave after we get really close. Always having in the back of my mind while we are having a good time for a few weeks, is he going to disapear again tomorrow. I know we are happy now but its only a matter of time before he shuts me out again It was draining me and I couldnt take it anymore and was longing for a stable relationship. So I am hoping that this new guy is not similar to my ex in that way. Overall I love my ex. He is an amazing guy.

 

[Zipperhead]

I know I'm in the supporters area again, but, here goes.

The Canadian Army estimates that 10% of all Combat Troops will be affected by some sort of Operational Stress Injury. I think they are being Optimists, but hey, you asked for a percentage, there you go.

Your new Beau was a Tech. Don't get to excited here. Allot of Techs see and do just as much as the Infantry. So just because he wasn't infantry doesn't mean your home free.

And the Army really does teach respect to it's men. Yes we open doors, push in chairs, and even speed up so we can open doors for little old ladies at the mall. The steriotype of the Army Guy abusing his Wife at home is unjustified and uncalled for. The percentage of Army vs Civi domestic violence should show that to be true.

Sorry about the break up.

 

[Prettysmile]

Your new Beau was a Tech. Don't get to excited here. Allot of Techs see and do just as much as the Infantry. So just because he wasn't infantry doesn't mean your home free.

Zipperhead really? Oh wow. Your right I did think because he wasnt infantry then there was a less chance of him suffering from PTSD.

Yea, Im sorry about our break up too. No, there was no domestic abuse with us but my heart goes out to the ones that do expierence that. My ex has only been out the marines for four months. If a year from now he learns to manage all his emotions alot better, I would step out on faith and try to give our relationship another try. As for the new guy, weather or not he has ptsd, its not fair i give him false hope. I cant start something new if I am not over my ex. I will tell him just that the truth. But i doubt that will stop him from pursuing me.

 

[living4jesus]

Hi Prettysmile,

I would get to know the guy on a friend basis and just watch for any red flags. I think I saw red flags of PTSD in the beginning of my relationship with my fiancee but was in denial of them for a long time. Pray about it. I think its great you are getting to know him first. If you can keep your eyes wide open and just get to know this new guy for who he is then you will find your answers. Also I would suggest giving yourself time to heal from your past relationship in the meantime. ((((hugs))))