Childhood 'Parking'/'Moving on from trauma'

[Deleted member 36028]

I seem to be stuck in resentment and bitterness I cannot seem to shift. Mainly about how all this trauma and poor upbringing it effecting my ability to function, the fact I don't have a base to heal from because I seem to have limited inner strength to move forward. The constant feedback I get from people is I need to park this stuff and move on. Including my therapist. I seem to have accumulated a lot of knowledge and appreciation for that fact this stuff isn't my fault and why I act the way I do. The number of books on cptsd, developmental trauma seems to feel no end. I just haven't got to the point where my behavior is shifting. I feel powerless and I feel ashamed for feeling powerless.

 

[somerandomguy]

If we really could just pack it up and move on, then ALL of us would do that.

You need a new therapist.

 

[Innordinate]

he constant feedback I get from people is I need to park this stuff and move on. Including my therapist.

yeah thats not how this shit works. I agree with @somerandomguy - you need a new therapist.

 

[Ronin]

I usually respond with things I processed, meantime, and will not be triggery to me the same:

So, your so and so does XYZ at ABC of your age while (other stuff) goes on.
... And watch their response. So much for moving on, and they did not even *live* that.

 

[joeylittle]

I don't have a base to heal from because I seem to have limited inner strength to move forward...I just haven't got to the point where my behavior is shifting. I feel powerless and I feel ashamed for feeling powerless.

Have you done any cognitive therapy, in a really focused way? It sounds like you need help developing resilience, and also could benefit from challenging you thoughts using a CBT or DBT structure.

 

[EveHarrington]

You know the CBT triangle?

Thought, feeling, action?

If you’re just sitting there waiting for your actions to change, you may be waiting FOREVER!

Sometimes you need to FORCE your behavior to change and then thoughts and feelings will follow.

It’s all about attacking the right side of the triangle.

Some people can change thoughts first, then the other two sides follow. Some can change feelings first....

Me, I have to change my behavior first, FORCE myself to do things I don’t want to do....surely enough, thoughts and feelings will shift after I change my behavior.

I’m not so sure you need a new therapist. You haven’t said enough to warrant a “give him the heave ho” response IMHO.

 

[Starfire]

I seem to be stuck in resentment and bitterness I cannot seem to shift. Mainly about how all this trauma and poor upbringing it effecting my ability to function, the fact I don't have a base to heal from because I seem to have limited inner strength to move forward. The constant feedback I get from people is I need to park this stuff and move on. Including my therapist. I seem to have accumulated a lot of knowledge and appreciation for that fact this stuff isn't my fault and why I act the way I do. The number of books on cptsd, developmental trauma seems to feel no end. I just haven't got to the point where my behavior is shifting. I feel powerless and I feel ashamed for feeling powerless.

Wow! If you find a method to just park it & move on then you could bottle it, sell it & make a fortune!! It took me seemingly forever to internalize the fact that I was powerless then. I am not powerless now. Honestly, there are days I still need to be reminded. Today, I've put together a tool box of things to use. I can take care of myself today. I couldn't then. Some days I still need to be reminded of those tools & to take them out of the box. No matter how it feels some days, I am no longer powerless. At the very least, I can now ask for help & have people in my life who will actually help me. That's power. You are not powerless either.