As many of you know, we lost a foal over the weekend. Although I'm not religious, I believe things happen for a reason. It has taken days for me to come to understand that as much joy as the little man would have brought into our lives, his death has broken down barriers between my veteran and I.
We had become trapped in a cycle of hostility and hate. He was always angry and I reacted with more anger. We had become estranged from each other.
In our grief, my veteran allowed his armour to crack - to show me the deep grief and frustration he carries with him every day. And I, in turn, saw how his anger and hostility hid how very very broken he is inside.
Now when he snaps at me, I think to myself - react as if he were sobbing. Its easy to become impatient and annoyed and snap back at someone who is hostile towards you. If that same person were crying your reaction is to be gentle, to speak quietly, to tend to them.
He was able to express his need for gentleness and care and I was able to truly hear that and to understand him better. That would not have happened if we were not burying our beautiful little man together. I'm determined that his death will not be in vain.
We had become trapped in a cycle of hostility and hate. He was always angry and I reacted with more anger. We had become estranged from each other.
In our grief, my veteran allowed his armour to crack - to show me the deep grief and frustration he carries with him every day. And I, in turn, saw how his anger and hostility hid how very very broken he is inside.
Now when he snaps at me, I think to myself - react as if he were sobbing. Its easy to become impatient and annoyed and snap back at someone who is hostile towards you. If that same person were crying your reaction is to be gentle, to speak quietly, to tend to them.
He was able to express his need for gentleness and care and I was able to truly hear that and to understand him better. That would not have happened if we were not burying our beautiful little man together. I'm determined that his death will not be in vain.
