People Say the Funniest Things

[Scott_Fraser]

Last summer I was about to cut the grass in my garden, and I mentioned to my wife that there was dog shit on the grass. She replies. Who's is it. My reply was I don't know there was no name on it.
Why is it when people have a new born baby they ask the mother, "What did you have". She's had a baby what did you think is sleeping in the pram a blooming alligator.

Please tell me some of the things that you have heard from people.
Scott:crazy:

 

[GR-ass]

Why is it people fall pregnant and yet they catch a cold? Really, it makes pregnancy seem an eternal accident and yet getting sick is purposeful.

 

[Scott_Fraser]

It is a mystery to me, Its a women thing I think.
Scott:hello:

 

[jade]

Why do they call a driveway a driveway when you park there or a parkway a parkway when you drive on it?

 

[Scott_Fraser]

Have you ever noticed when people see a park bench with a note on it saying "Wet Paint". What do they do, they touch it and then moan that it is wet. Stupid people of course its wet.
When I was a kid I used to remove the Wet Paint signs from the benches and then sit and wait. Some poor sod would come along and sit on the wet bench and get covered in paint. I, of course would say to them, People nowadays will steal anything.
Cheers
Scott:kickass:

 

[goingonhope]

Why is it that so many people after finding out you're pregnant with twins, and having received the answer to their question: "Do you know what sex they're?" ....."Yes, one is a boy the other a girl."
....Many never fail to then ask, "Do you know if they're identical?"
......Well, I certainly hope not!

 

[Scott_Fraser]

Hi there.
When my youngest boy was 2, he was a carpet sucker, we would walk up to the edge of the carpet in his room and start sucking it, "Weird Huh".
Man in a Fancy Resturant asks the Waiter. "Do You Have Frogs Legs". The Waiter replied. "No sir, its just the way that I walk".
Cheers
Scott:hello:

 

[Scott_Fraser]

When my wife was expecting our second child, she told her mother that she was pregnant again. Mother replied, "How did that happen". (Immaculate Conception maybe).

A Cop stopped me one night on my bike and asks me. "Are you the driver of this motorbike Sir". I replied. "No I'm just sitting here getting a sun tan".

Cheers
Scott:crazy:

 

[cookie]

our states to learn last week for social studies(kindergarten) were New York, New Jersey, and Delaware. for some reason the kids kept wanting to put the "New" on all of them. i asked for the name as i pointed, and i got, new york, new jersey, and new underwear, from dj, my little crackerjack.

 

[Scott_Fraser]

Ah kids you've got to love them don't you.
I love kids, but I could never eat more than one at a time. (Sick Ain't it)

Scott:hello:

 

[becvan]

This lovely jem is from my brother.. he was standing in a line up at Tim Hortons and there was a large lady in front of him. There was also a man with a little boy.. Well the large ladies cell phone started to ring in her pocket.. so the little boy points and top of his lungs yelled "watch out she's backing up!" Guess it embarrased the poor lady.. my brother said the entire restuarant looked like they were going to explode from withholding laughter.. LOL that is truly aweful yet so funny..

from the mouth of babes eh?

bec

 

[piglet]

Our family were having a conversation about the computer game grand theft auto and whether it is "cool" or not. The conversation moved onto the implications of car theft. I asked my 4 year old niece "what will happen if you steal someone's car?" She replied "they will have to walk".