So, I started seeing a therapist for the first time a few months ago. She consulted a psychiatrist that she works with about the catatonia, and came back with the opinion that she thinks my problem is not psychological in origin. Apparently my cognizance and concern about this is generally an indicator that it's not a schizophrenic catatonia or severe depression issue, and the waxy flexibility seems usually resultant of medical conditions when not the schizophrenic variety. I went to my gp and told her, and now I have a neuropsychologist appointment at the end of July.
Since then I've worked myself into a froth trying to see if I can find any clues. All just conjecture at this point, I'm obviously not a doctor, but I'm the kind of person who has trouble sitting there with my hands in the old pockets.
First I started looking back at the strangling attacks (of indeterminate length) by my partner that happened in 2013/2014 that resulted in a loss of consciousness each time. One time it involved my airway being blocked, fully, minutes after just coming to from another LOC-level occlusion of both carotid arteries. Everything I've read indicates that some level of TBI occurs after a strangulation attack, even if you don't lose consciousness. It also compounds if it happens over and over before you've had time to heal (check). I haven't formally had someone diagnose post-concussive or whatever symptoms yet, but there's a fair amount of stuff that seems to support what I've read (that one LOC, even a short one, is sufficient to support a diagnosis);
- sounds, not just loud ones that mess with me from PTSD, but most, are almost excruciating. Voices, bags crumbling, etc
- light sensitivity; going outside, especially in the summer, is hell
- memory is abyssal (this could be PTSD, or TBI, or both; I won't give full examples, but this is part of the reason that my husband and Mom don't feel comfortable with me going outside unsupervised)
- muscle tension headaches (could be from this, could be from the next thing - keep reading!)
- I sleep for 11 hours; I sleep less with rare exceptions
- swaying off to either side while walking sometimes
Seems likely, and will address this concern next month. However, there are other symptoms that are not covered by that, so I once again continued my diligent research... if only out of curiosity
- my right arm swings about 30% of my left; muscles are more rigid. left arm is fine. has been going on for at least a year or two
- tremor in my right arm when at rest or held in a posture, less noticeable when I am doing something with it. My right arm gets tired faster than the left. It is not to the point where I can't do functional things with it, but it's bothersome. I can feel the muscles and tendons jerking even at complete rest.
- nasty dizziness that has gotten worse over the past few years. sometimes I nearly fall just standing up doing nothing and adopt a crazy counter stance to keep myself from falling
- almost passing out when standing up
- waking up every hour
- confusion (I will often be doing a thing and just forget what I was doing outright, or on my way to do something)
- my husband says sometimes I walk 'fawn-like', which he struggled to put into other terms. he used the word 'clumsy', mentioned my unsteadiness, and added that I sometimes run in to things even when I know they're there
I think there could be more that I'm forgetting, but the first two symptoms are more often than not attributed to Parkinson's Disease. Something else I thought of; catatonia is resultant of dopamine problems, and Parkinson's Disease destroys dopamine neurons. Hmm. I feel like if it was just post-tbi symptoms, it wouldn't be getting worse. That catatonia usually happens when I am having flashbacks, but sometimes it happens when I am stressed but not having flashbacks. And during those times, it can be nearly instantaneous.
I know that neurological things aren't so simple to diagnose, especially early onsets, but I'd be interested to hear just about anything anyone has to offer (unless it's 'quit googling!', which is totally not helpful)! And if you're hesitant to say anything that's totally understandable, but thank you for letting me use you as a sounding board! lol.
A month and a half is a hell of a long time to wait after years of just assuming everything that landed me on disability was C-PTSD.
I look forward to finally having answers in due time, even if they really suck!
