Pivot Points - Central Themes In Managing Your PTSD

[Tinyflame]

I suppose I might understand this question more now, for me some of it would be maybe:

Choosing:

-support (connection and love) vs fear
-balance vs over-extension (denial)
-purpose and feeling I can meet a need vs despair
-living vs giving up

 

[LuckiLee]

I've been thinking about this post all week... What I've noticed about my guy (highly trained combat veteran) is he needs structure. A schedule to follow. Routine. Whatever you want to call it?? He also needs purpose. Prayer. Fresh air. Nourishment. Calmness. Fishing and a few beers here and there. :) He is like a energy sponge. His mood can change according to the moods of others. Negative/rude/abusive people suck the life out of him (his bro is the worst in my book!). When these things are met? Oh, happy day!

 

[StellaBlue]

Interesting thread.

I can relate to a lot of the comments so far.

Currently, though, I'm paying attention to what's in my Control versus Out of My Control. I've never viewed myself as a "control freak" but I'm starting to pay attention to how I tend to spiral when unexpected things happen - or I haven't planned properly - or ... I'm not in control ?. Sh*t - it never occurred to my that I might be a control freak ?.

 

[IceQueencop]

Great thread, @Friday!

Control and usefulness are huge for me as well as it seems a lot of folks here.

I manage that by counseling and presenting on a complicated topic that most people prefer to avoid. I have to be careful about overscheduling so I don’t crash and burn. But, I am definitely someone that needs to be needed in a non-emotional/professional way.

 

[Freida]

Control of my environment
React and respond
Chaotic structure A+B-yellow=14. The equation might not work but I get an answer I can work with. (what's funny about that is that i flunked algebra - twice!)

 

[Abstract]

Hmm. In my mind I think of pivotal points as something different to what generally helps me manage my symptoms. Those to me are about big realisations where I change mode entirely. Or aim to. There is also a big difference to what helps now as opposed to the early days. Different levels of surviving. Very interesting realising that so thanks for the thread.

Past coping:
Obsessive doing. Needing to keep feeling productive and distracted. Stop and I would slip into not good stuff. Do and crash cycle not pretty.
Socialising on the same level and as a way of feeling connected to life.
Same re physical stuff. Eating drinking exercising. Reading.
Sense of independence
Understanding

Now healthy management is:
self connection first and foremost. Emotions , physical requirements, basic management of self, medical . Awareness.
Mental space for that awareness which is beyond distraction.
Internal validation
Values authenticity.
Sense of Independence.
Acceptance
Understanding
Working on internal validation away from usefulness etc. For me.

I need to be aware of the mast and feel it, know its nature, to properly steer the boat. The steering comes second. It used to be all about the steering and terrain.
Also ideally of course am better if the water isnt full of protruding rocks sending me down memory lane.

 

[Changing4Best]

Being creative seems to do it for me. Writing in my journal/ trauma diary, painting, crocheting, poetry....
The other thing that really helps me, I think, is having a job, being responsible for someone, which takes my mind off of me and puts it squarely onto the other person(s). Mindfulness and prayer also really help.

 

[Tinyflame]

Wow, I have no profound insights like all of the above ( :tup: :notworthy: ), nor eloquent words. Just thinking, (for me) it's left to choice. Which I think can be mistaken for attitude, but isn't what I mean, because left only to my own thoughts and beliefs, especially as regards myself, and no matter how hard I try to bust-cognitive-distortions, it's more a matter of 'not' thinking; contrary or other perspective or experience; focus away from it. Not distraction, more like it is challenged.

I heard the definition of comfort is being free from mental and physical pain. Well, physical for me is constant, so I only partly agree there, a person learns to live with it; it's silencing the thoughts and memories. It's not-experiencing all of the awful things expected. It's being actually 'safe'.

i flunked algebra - twice!

^^ I think Einstein did, too. ;) :hug:

 

[mumstheword]

Forging forward and reinventing myself. Rummaging through the charred ruins of past memories and concepts of self that have guided me and shaped me, and finding the treasures that remain; the parts of me that I want to resurrect, to hold close, to feature, to pay forward, to breath new life into. The Phoenix is a symbol that comes to mind. Rising from the ashes of my past self to fly and sing and sparkle and strive for freedom, always. Freedom and acceptance and love and kindness and renewal. Even when I hide like a bird in the night, nestled in the shadows, to live another day.

 

[Freida]

I heard the definition of comfort is being free from mental and physical pain. Well, physical for me is constant, so I only partly agree there, a person learns to live with it; it's silencing the thoughts and memories. It's not-experiencing all of the awful things expected. It's being actually 'safe'.

I love this!

 

[Tinyflame]

I believe too from small successful attempts @Freida that memories can be re-written- or rather the memories maybe can't, but the triggers can gain new good associations. I suppose if Big triggers can gain much better associations, there can be a lot of healing. Because big triggers lead to a lot of the worst, most painful, most frightening thoughts, most unbearable-to-live-with, too. Maybe too-likely associated with a 'repeat performance', to the mind? :(

:hug: to you.

 

[IceQueencop]

@Junebug - I think you’re right about changing the associations for triggers. “Wired together, fires together.” Like a Pavlovian response.