Please Help Me Understand Sufferer

[Hudez]

In a relationship with a PTSD combat very for 3 1/2 years so not new to it. However I am struggling myself right now. He text me this

"Hey it's not you but I'm dealing with something hard that I don't wanna talk about. So please don't take it personal I might be a little distant for awhile. Hey at least I recognize it"

Now I do understand but just a couple days before that we had a bit of an argument to which he said he found me on 3 dating sites and I know 110% that isn't true because I am not nor ever have been on a site like that. He admitted the next day that he only said that to bait me and get my reaction because I had changed my profile pic on Facebook and it was really pretty so he assumed I must be talking to other men! He has never ever shown jealousy or acted like that. However he was a little drunk when these accusations came up. It was the day before Memorial Day that this happened. He struggles this time of year. He also said in this fight as if to throw it in my face "oh and btw I'm going to Colorado" ...which is clear across the country for us. Anyways I asked him the next day when things had cooled down if/when he was leaving to Colorado and he said he wasn't sure yet. I said that I assumed it was soon as he implied and he said NO. Then we talk a little on Memorial Day and then the next night really late I get that array of texts about going through something hard.

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is if he already had it planned to go and just lied to me and then proceeded to tell me he was having a hard time so it wouid excuse his disappearance. I mean do any of you sufferers sorta pre plan down time or time to just cut everyone out to recharge.

I guess I can't decide how to feel. I wanna be supportive and I've done good for this long but I dunno I feel a little like he used that as an excuse to just go and not be bothered by me yet still have me when he comes back. I don't wanna sound terrible but when he smugly said only 1 day before when we were arguing that he was going to CO as if to punish me then says no he isn't going for awhile and then boom he says he's going to be distant for awhile?!?!?! I'm sorry but I'm hella confused if he had the trip pre planned and just blatantly lied to me.

 

[Ozowi]

He sounds stressed... Is he blowing smoke when he says he's going to Colorado? My vet says he's going to do all kinds of shit when he's stressed, but never does 95% of it.

 

[Hudez]

He owns several cabins there and has land that he's going to build more cabins on.

 

[Hosap]

I'd say he's stressed, he can feel an isolation period coming on and he's trying to give you a heads up.

 

[Letiwok]

I'm not sure understanding is as important here as recognizing that he may be going into an isolation state.
PTSD isn't pretty, we don't want to visit our insanity of thoughts and fears on those we love, but sometimes that's exactly what we do in trying to protect them.
Our thoughts are spinning at a mind numbing speed and we seek solution. For ourselves, for those in our lives.
Try talking, don't expect answers, try to listen but honor yourself during these talks, it's alright to say "I don't understand but I am trying to relate the best I am able"...it is enough.
Answers are so difficult when in the midst of ptsd, I had to learn to say "I don't have that answer right now" when I was mucking up everyone's lifewith my my struggle.
I wish you and your sufferer peace and love.


Does your mate have friends who knows what he knows, who he can spend solid time with? Maybe to decombust...