Please Help!!

[Butter-Bee]

I don't like to talk about this but I'm quite drunk right now and need to do something!

I am a self harmer whose best mate has just been diagnosed with cancer. I do not do it to kill myself but for the pain because I can't handle reality. Recently I have started doing it on my face hidden under my fringe. I am getting scared that I am going to push it too far when I am in a bad way and to make sure no one wants to do stuff to me again I will make myself ugly by doing it across my whole face. I probably shouldn't be admitting to this and I'm not encouraging anyone else to do it, I just want to know if I should maybe be taking myself to a hospital or Drs or keep quiet or what?

I'm not saying I want people to give me the answer just advice.

Thanks
A very emotional B-Bee

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi think you should go to a hospital. You have so much going on and I am concerned about the self harm. I hope you go to the doctor and get some real help. You deserve it. My heart goes out to you. Wishing you the best. Please do not mess up your face.

 

[Chincho]

I agree with Gizmo. I think you should go to a hospital where they can give you the help you need. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

 

[Meadowsweet]

You're dealing with that feeling by talking here.

There is hospital. There is the samaritans 08457 909090 (from UK). They are there 24 hours and can take the edge off when it gets too bad. But you're doing the right thing by asking for help. You're not alone.

 

[712xx]

Going to the hospital won't make you feel better, but if you think you can't stop yourself from self-harming then being around those who will stop you might be a good idea. Just be prepared for those gits who will give the impression they think you are only looking for attention. As a past self-harmer myself, I know you're not. It can be an addictive coping tool, (a bit like drugs and alcohol) because everything else just sucks balls in relation to helping that 'feeling' decrease.

Maybe, if you have other people in your life that care about you, you can ask them to hang out with you till the feeling passes. I've never had friends I could call, but it seems like reaching out to someone who cares would be better than going to the hospital surrounded by some people who are passive-aggressive dirt weasels. You might not even have to tell your friend why you need to hang out -- just say you need a friend to sit with for a while. That is normal isn't it?

However, facial harm will scar but will not cause you to die. Even if you go all the way through the skin layers. The only way to cause fatal harm is to cut through your jugular vain, but it is set so far in, most of the satisfaction is in cutting deep enough for it to bleed. Once you hit a certain point, the self-harm is no longer considered self-harm it is called suicidal. If you are feeling suicidal, rather than self-harm, then yes go to the hospital.

 

[Heather]

I don't like to talk about it either but I use to cut myself on the face. I'm sorry you're having a really hard time and I think you should admit yourself too if you're feeling that out of contol.

Most cutters cut themselves in places where they can hide it, the face really isn't one of those places. To me it screams that you are in a tremendous amount of pain. I hope you get the help you need.

Peace to you.

 

[intothelight]

BB,

Is there anyone you trust that can come and stay with you right now? It is time to stop drinking and get some support.

To go to the hospital or not is a choice that you will have to make. But the best thing you can do is not be alone at this time.

Deb

 

[maelstrom]

Hey, you are totally not alone. I'm also a self harmer and sometimes I do get really bad urges. I don't know if this would trigger anyone (sorry if it does), but sometimes I have this urge to cut my throat--not to kill myself though. I don't know why I want to do it but sometimes I keep thinking about it. I always end up self harming elsewhere but the thought sometimes scares me. I agree with others that you should go to the hospital if you are feeling unsafe. You really don't want scars on your face that you will regret for the rest of your life, not to mention that it might even endanger your life. I have permanent scars on my body from self-harming, and sometimes I regret so much when I look at them. I'm embarrassed to undress and I'm even worried about dating or marrying another person because I don't want anyone to see those ugly scars...But I really didn't think when I did it. So please, please think twice and don't do it across your face.

Oh, also try not to do anything when you are drunk. You could have unusual courage when you are drunk and get out of control, especially if you self harm. Alcohol is a depressant so it's probably not a good idea to start with if you are already feeling so bad. Definitely try getting help from a doctor or at the hospital. Big hug to you and hope you feel better soon!

 

[piratelady]

I hope you were able to get some help. Drinking seems to make the urge to self-harm a lot worse. I wish I could offer you some sort of advice, but I don't really know what to do with those urges myself. Best of luck! I'm sorry if this wasn't helpful. I tried.

 

[Butter-Bee]

I went to the hospital and they said because I had gone so late they wouldn't give me anything to make me sleep and that I would have to wait for 3-4 hours for mental health to come pick me up so I left. Thankfully my friend rang me and was upset about her partner so I was busy with her and then fell asleep. I am not going to lie, the urge to cut across my face is still there but not suicide. I have confided in someone with how I am feeling but can't help thinking its too much pressure for them.
Thank you all for your words of advice and support. I am getting myself back to the Drs as soon as possible.

B-bee

 

[piratelady]

You know, it never ceases to amaze me how health care professions react when self-harm is involved.

I'm glad you are getting back to a doctor to get some help :)

 

[maddog]

I agree with Piratelady, the number of horrible emergency room stories I have heard and personally witnessed, particularly regarding mental health issues and most particularly those involving self harm or SI, is truly disturbing.

I'm glad your friend could offer some distraction and refocusing for you, even though it sounds as though it wasn't the particularly validating kind.

Hope you can have a full and frank and supportive discussion with your doctor soon.

Maddog