Pregnancy, Medical Professionals And Ptsd

[StarChild]

P.S. someone might want to light a candle if the ob/gyn tries so push me into natural birth

I'll do that if this is o.k. for you... :) And, I'll put strengthening thoughts and wishes on that candle for you!

 

[HëllaBubz]

Sounds good. :) or alternatively someone who is good at carving headstones. ....

 

[HëllaBubz]

It's pink!!

Feel privileged, we arent even telling the family!
But other half said your are all my supporters and friends, so you can know!

 

[HëllaBubz]

Other half got to feel his first kick, look on his face was priceless! Kind of like a small kid getting a big shock!

 

[Whitneys story]

It's pink!!

I am so happy to know I still have my gift! But we won't tell anyone in the family. The baby world really caters to "Princeses's".

Can't wait to go shopping! Hugs, Auntie Whitney

 

[HëllaBubz]

Yes, and I'm glad you have your gift too! I'm happy though, other half wanted a baby that was a girl, so I'm happy i gave him both.

Now to dig into my therapy and get some results!

 

[CraftyCath]

Oh Bubz, that's wonderful news and congratulations!!!!!

How did it go with the ob/gyn?

 

[HëllaBubz]

How did it go with the ob/gyn?

Well to answer that, I'd have to go back a few weeks to my first ob/gyn appointment......

The first Ob/Gyn I saw, I didn't really like.

Firstly, she started off the appointment by asking me if she knew me from somewhere......given I couldn't place her accent, the first thing I thought was that she was somehow related to my foster mother who was a Div 1 nurse......

As most of you can imagine, when you are trying to be left alone by people you don't like, the last thing you want to hear is....do I know you? So that immediately made me want to run out the door and hide, and we hadn't even started yet.

Turns out that she knew of me because I had spoken to the maternity unit manager about having my service dog there (who now won't be!), and given her some of my history. She had then passed that onto the ob/gyn who I saw at this appointment.

So we discussed that a little, and then she did the standards obs and checked the heartbeat of bubs.
We eventually got to discussing a few of my concerns about birth and things down the track, and the first thing I told her is that I cannot handle even the sight of stirrups - told her about a previous experience that was immensely triggering and why it was a problem.

And then I went on to tell her that I cannot handle internal examinations even when on medication, stated specifically that I had a nasty history of sexual abuse, memories had just started to come up in therapy, and I would not be able to have anyone near me while I was in pain, let alone examining me while I was off medication and triggers were so sensitive.

I also told her that I cannot be touched while I am in pain, I will lash out, and I need to be left alone while I'm in labor to either be in the shower, or walk around to deal with the pain, I need to be in motion and not be restrained.

Her response to that was she couldn't really do much about the stirrups, if she needed me in a position to examine me through the birth then that was just going to have to happen, and as for internal examinations, they would need to be done to see how far along I was through out the labor, and that was just how it was going to be.

Even thinking about it now brings up rage at her dismissiveness. About 2 weeks after that appointment, after hearing her response, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to go through a natural birth, especially if I had a clueless f*ckwit like that attending to me.

She then wrote out a 20 week scan request, handed it to me, and sent me on my way.

At the scan, a week or so ago, we went through the usual, get on the table, put some thoughtfully warmed conductive gel on my tummy, and proceed to have another look at bubs. About 25min later, the sonographer then told me she was going to step out so that I could get ready for the internal examination.

I went very still, and said "I beg your pardon?", and she explained that part of the routine examination for 20 weeks was that they checked the length of the cervix, and they could only do that properly by doing it internally.

Rhett immediately wanted to know if it was really necessary, and the sonographer saw my face and said that was entirely up to me.
I thought about it for a second, hopped up off the table to go to the toilet, and when I got back she had the table ready for me, and told me that she would step out for a moment.

I just stood there looking at the table, and Rhett wanted to know if I was ok, and if I wanted to go through with it....I told him that at first I thought I could, but I took another look at the table, and promptly started to shake and burst into tears.

The sonographer came back in to see if I was ready, and Rhett firmly told her that it wasn't going to happen, and they would have to do without the measurement.

We ended up have to go and have a coffee and some sugar to try to wake bubs up to reposition her, but that didn't really work anyway. I said to Rhett that women have been having children for a long time without that measurement, they can f*ck off and do without mine.

And then it occurred to me.......if I had told the ob/gyn about my issues about being examined, and why I had those issues, as well as my history, why wasn't I told it was expected of me? Or why didn't she tell the sonographer about my history so she was pr-prepared?

And why was it even asked of me when she had been told I couldn't do it off medication, and even when I was on medication I could barely handle it?

Even writing this down has made me burst into tears again, but I'm glad it's out, because my case worker said that the entire thing shouldn't have happened, and that it was a massive breach of my patient rights, and strongly encouraged me to put in a complaint.

And I'm going to. How dare she flip off everything I said, after knowing about my PTSD, service dog, and being told about my issues and history? How dare she dismiss everything I said, and send me off like a lamb to the slaughter for the shock of my life when the only thing I had been looking forward to was that 20 week scan to find out the sex of our baby, and to have it overshadowed by that horrible experience?

The ob/gyn I saw a few hours after my 20 week scan was the absolute opposite, he was caring, thoughtful and as soon as he heard a tiny bit of my history, he stopped me there and said, no worries, I'll recommend you have the C section, and if they still give you grief I'll have to transferred to my base hospital, and take you on as a patient of my own and I'll do it myself.

He is only at the hospital once a fortnight, so he can't do the operation, but he knew the name of the other ob/gyn I'd had trouble with, heard what had happened at the scan, and so made me an appointment with another colleague of his who was full time at the hospital, and passed on his recommendations to her.

So my next appointment is in 3 weeks with the new ob/gyn, and my case worker, GP and psychiatrist, as well as the psych for the maternal psych unit that I'm applying to stay at for an extended post birth stay, are all going to write letters in my favor, and push strongly to have a C section.

 

[CraftyCath]

he was caring, thoughtful

I often find men more sympathetic than women when it comes to medical matters - strange but true.

They should not have put you through any of that Bubz, honestly, I could hit them! :mad:

When I was pregnant with my first son, they did the scan at 20 weeks and then told me they were going to do a smear! I was speechless! I'm a trained nurse and was horrified that they would do that during pregnancy when it is routinely done at the 6 week check after the birth.

I refused, the staff got crabby with me but I stuck to my guns.

We should not have to fight for what is so obviously right. Well done to you and your partner for standing your ground Bubz. It is your body, your baby, your health and your choice.

You are strong.

Big hugs. :hug:

 

[Whitneys story]

Bubzilla, I am glad you have someone else. Who does she think she is?

Please file on her at the top of her food chain! You supplied plenty of information and it must be followed. She does not respect the oath she has taken!

Grrrrrrrrrrr, So sorry you were put through this. :hug: Whitney

 

[HëllaBubz]

Who does she think she is?

I dunno......but as my psych said today....she's dutch, so......

Please file on her at the top of her food chain!

I will, but I'm pretty knackered at the moment, so I'll hopefully get around to it some time this week.

 

[Whitneys story]

OMG, Not Dutch, my daughter in law was from Vollendam. It took a lot of understanding to break through the culture. I still don't get it! But she is a wonderful person.

There is still no legitament reasoning behind that doc! :devilish: