Problems With Driving?

[GhostedGirl]

Hi I'm new to this forum but I really wanted to get some other perspectives on this...

I was finally diagnosed with PTSD last year, I'm 26 and I don't have driver's license. I admit it's a source of shame for me, but I am absolutely terrified of driving. I understand the root of it, I was subjected to a lot of drunk driving as a kid and was almost killed several times. It's never been too terribly inconvenient because I live in a town with a bus system, but as I get older, the expectation that just everyone drives is looming over me. People think it's strange. Also I want to have children some day, and I'm worried that not being able to drive is going to be a problem.

But... I just constantly worry that something is going to startle me and I'm going to veer off the road, or God forbid, hurt someone else. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

 

[Catriona]

I experienced two traumas fairly back-to-back, one being an auto accident that totaled my car, the second being an armed robbery whilst walking down the street [due to, well, being carless]. I've never been the biggest fan of driving, having grown up in a large metropolitan area with a wonderful public transport system. However, several years ago upon moving to a city where driving is imperative, I had to get my license.

One would think, given the second trauma was an indirect result of the first, that I'd want to replace my car and drive again as quickly as possible. However, I have very little desire to get a new car and get back on the road. I also experience hypervigilance as a passenger, constantly gripping the seat with white knuckles, even if the driver is driving responsibly, at a reasonable speed. I have fleeting, horrible thoughts of all the various disasters that could occur. While the causes may be different, I definitely understand where you are coming from. :)

 

[GhostedGirl]

I experience hypervigilance as a passenger as well! I have a few choice people that I trust as drivers, and that's about all I can stand. And I'm constantly thinking about the horrible accidents that could happen and what I would do. The highway is particular awful. I mean, to be honest the whole issue is really quite embarrassing. But I don't even know if it's safe for me to drive in the condition I am in when I'm in a car. Sometimes I'm so scared or paranoid I'm barely coherent.

 

[Gamereign555]

I have always had a fear of driving and it took a lot on my part to get my license, thankfully my driving test was so easy, rediculously easy and for being so afraid I still scored a 97, I was fearing the worst. I still fear driving to places I normally don't go. For me I think it is more of a fear of the unknown, I practice with my girlfriend going places I normally wouldn't go on my own.
Typically yes I do start to have anxiety while driving after about 20 minutes or so. Driving alone is difficult for me as well.

 

[AliveInside]

Magdalen, having been severely hurt by a car accident, I can say I can understand your fears from alot of close calls and careless drivers around you. I'm sorry for what they put you through. I would say from my instincts, based on your posts you are a deeply caring and concerned person with great compassion for others. I have no doubt you would be a conscientious and careful person behind the wheel. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Trust yourself, get your license. :)
AI

 

[Crl1983]

Hi. Don't feel so bad, you are not alone. I didn't start driving regularly until I was around 24 or 25. My parents never took the time out to teach me and I never really went out of my way to try to learn out of fear. I was in a bad car accident when I was really little, and then when I was around 8 I remember being taken along on a terror ride with my father one night, he had a gun and was looking for some guy he wanted to kill and he was driving really crazy. Also the fact he used to say things to my mom when he was beating her about how he was going to drive their car into a pole or off a bridge one day, and he always had his gun out when he would say these things so I believed him. Another time I was with my dad and he was driving a truck, and somehow the door came open and I fell out of it when the truck was moving, rolled out in the road and got all scraped up all over. When I was about 15 I was in a car with this guy who was high and it was raining and the car hydroplaned. I think now that some of this had a lot to do with my fear of cars and driving. Not to mention I was around 17 when I met my ex-husband. I stayed with him for about 5 years and he wouldn't allow me to have a car and told me I couldn't drive. He was very controlling and abusive. It doesn't help that a short while after I started dating my fiance, his brakes failed and he totaled his car, I was in it with him and I remember my head hitting the windshield. Then near the end of 2009 when I was pregnant, I was driving to work and I was really out of it that morning, I ended up rear ending someone who slammed on their brakes out of nowhere and my car was totaled, I had to be hospitalized overnight and the next day. I didn't drive for months after that happened. It has taken me a long time to get even a little bit used to driving. I still can't go more than about 30-45 minutes at a time without starting to lose it. I start getting panic attacks and/ or dissociating If I try to drive too far, or in unfamiliar places, in heavy traffic, on bridges, in the rain, etc.When I am riding in a car as a passenger with most people I am nervous the whole time, I panic if i think they are driving fast or do things like suddenly brake and grip the handle on the door the whole time. So I know it takes time to get used to and get over the fear, but if you take it little by little, baby steps might make it easier for you to ease into. Try practicing in empty parking lots, then you won't have to worry about accidents. Then slowly work your way up from there Make sure you always have a safe driver with you when you first start learning in case you need to stop.

 

[rachael1828]

I'm right there with you. I'm 22 and have no desire to get my license because it just scares the crap out of me. I think I'd be a good driver, it's just everyone else I'm terrified of. Well, maybe I wouldn't be.. I'd probably over analyze every little thing. Everyone says it become easy like riding a bike, but I can't imagine it not being a huge source of stress. I'm a mother of two, and it has definitely hindered going out on rainy days or running extra errands, but where I live there is a great bus system, and I've become more efficient when I do go out. I get a lot more done when I can. It's not bad to have kids and no car as long as you have other means. I lived in a town where there was no bus system for a while and I went incredibly stir crazy and it was not a good situation at all.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Magdelan, I want to tell you about my experiences re getting back into driving since a serious car crash in Feb 2010. It is 11.40pm here now so a little late, I had therapy today and feel tired. My threads, Bad things come in 30s not 3s and Fed up with the Rollercoaster sort of give you an idea. Also in achievements and successes my thread I drove 130 miles.

It has been a struggle but the hypervigilance is easing. Feel free to PM me or start a chat.

I'll be in contact again. Bed seems v inviting at the moment, I just hope I sleep without nightmares.

((HUGS)) if you accept them
KP

 

[Gamereign555]

What ultimately did it for me was I was told I wouldn't get the job without a license, I was able to get it within a few hours and return to the job sites. They gave me a try but I didn't get the job, it was a construction laborer job and was a lot of competition.

I think that its a small town so I was able to get the appointment for a drive test easily.