ED Problems with eating

[healingangel90]

I have a problem that comes and goes with eating. I have these periods of what feels like depression that last anywhere from a day to a week. During these times, it's hard for me to function at all - I spend that time isolating myself from the rest of the world. Whenever I'm in this mental state, I can't even look at myself in the mirror. When I do, it's painful. I say horrible things about myself - how I'm ugly and no one will ever want me and things along those lines (but I'm comfortable with my weight). Sorry for the rant, but pretty much during these little 'episodes', I find it really difficult to eat. I'm hungry, but if I try to eat, it feels really forced and I feel nauseous. After a while, I just give up and I've gone days without eating a thing. I'm not really sure if this counts as any type of eating disorder, but it's definitely become a problem. I end up restricting myself from eating until I feel like I might pass out or just so weak that it scares me. At that point, I'm pretty much shaking from weakness. Has anyone gone through anything like this? I'm not sure what this is or what I should do about it...

Looking back on it when I'm in a better state, I think it may be a cry for help or a way to express my pain maybe? I'm really not sure.

 

[VDWngr1355]

I do it too and I never did it before I had PTSD. I haven't really talked about with my T yet, so I haven't been diagnoised with an eating disorder. But I am sure it is tied into depression. I do the same thing you do. Even when I am depressed and know it is time to eat or that I know I should eat, I will try to sit down to a very small plate of food and not even eat that. I end up talking myself out of it.

 

[MissSeptic]

I have a stomach defect that makes eating difficult even when I am feeling okay... but add in the anxiety/panic... and I can't even convince myself to try to eat or drink anything... I wonder if it is related to the "flight or fight" response?

 

[healingangel90]

I actually talking to my T about it, and she had me write down everything I ate and how I was feeling before and after. It was pretty evident that I didn't eat whenever I felt more depressed than usual, so I think you're right in that the two are tied. Thank you for sharing that with me - it helps knowing I'm not the only one.

 

[healingangel90]

MissSeptic - That could be a possibility. I have stomach problems too to begin with, so I can understand how difficult eating can be sometimes. I know for me it almost ends up as a mental tug-o-war for me about whether I should force myself to eat or not.

 

[Marie E.]

I do the same things. It is hard for me to eat, sometimes a friend has to tell me and will take me out to eat just to feed me. I do feel guilty they go out of their way, but I do eat than. I feel like a baby that needs to be fed about eating!

 

[pi314159]

I'm sorry you have problems eating.
I don't know if you're looking for a label but you may fit the criteria for EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

 

[anni]

Hi Pi,

If it is comforting knowing you're not alone with this, you're not. The thing is, it can really throw your chemistry off if you can't sort of trick your head into getting some food in there, you know? I've found the T hasn't even been all that helpful with this, although he's incredibly good. Just for practicality's sake, if you can, I haven't found anything which works better than milkshakes. No, your stomach doesn't like it and your head will argue with you also when that depressed but if you just keep one around and work at it, it does sometimes break that ridiculous no-eating loop. I've found that paying too much attetion to the whole subject of 'food' makes it worse, for some reason, trying to sit down an eat when like this. For some reason using liquid calories allows my head to stop arguing with me these days, I can go sit and have a meal like anyone else!

Everyone seems to be different, so this might or not work for you. I hope you're feeling better.

Take care,

Anni

 

[Srain]

I have to agree, I can get into the loop of no eating for whatever reason, usually something that hits me hard. Food begins to taste like cardboard and soon it's been days. I use the "milkshake" method, which is helpful, because constantly dropping 20-30lbs a pop is hard on the body and will catch up sooner or later, hence stomach issues that I have. I also will keep a favorite food around to keep me going because as I'm going through this process food is a weapon that was used against me growing up so I inadvertently use it against myself.

I do have eating disorders that are related back to my traumas and how I deal or rather don't deal with my feelings.

I hope this is somewhat helpful.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes, and I wonder if milkshakes help because they are cold (-inflamation?)
And 'light' food- cake, pancakes, etc, seem to go down and stay there.

 

[VDWngr1355]

yeah to get in protein and nutrients I will drink whey protein shakes. Because I can at least take it around with me and I eventually get in calories and protein.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Yes. very much.I can lose 20 pds in a blink and gain it all back.......messes up the body terribly.