Ptsd affecting relationships

[BlueWeepingRose]

I'm to the point now where I'm not even seeking a romantic relationship and if someone hits on me or tries to flirt with me, I completely avoid it and change the subject. If they continue, I start to get very angry inside and just wish they would stop. In the end I tell them, I'm not looking for a relationship and ask them to stop with what their saying. I don't tell them "why" or the reason why I'm reacting the way I am. Sometimes I fear I'll just be taken advantage of again, abused or they'll use the information against me. My trust is completely broken.

Sex isn't something I think of and I end up getting grossed out by it or if it's even mentioned to me. So it's affecting my relationships and not recovering what happened to me. It happened last year and I'm still not moved on from it. The abuse... everything. This year I've have gotten angry, upset, felt miserable and freaked out a few times due to triggers or not able to think straight. I'm worn out and tired.

I'm seeing a new therapist soon. I need a new one. My older Therapist, I didn't feel as if I could open up to her or tell her things how I truly felt because of trust issues... from everything I went through. It's made me realize how much I've kept bottle up inside and how much I need to get out since I've remained silent for so long. Silent about the abuse for years and never told that many people. I only opened up online. That's the only place. On Forums. Never to my therapist, because I didn't wanna face anything.

 

[Be Braver]

I completely understand. My trust is very hard to win, and very quick to lose. Don't worry about relationships, don't try to do anything or feel guilty for anything you aren't ready for. You don't have to do anything you aren't ready for and there is nothing wrong with not being ready. As for the trust, this is going to sound terrible, and as sexual assault survivor it is extremely scary to trust again, but the only way to start making gains with trust is to try and trust. There is nothing wrong with not being ready for it. I'm six years in and it is still really hard, but if you don't open up and give people the opportunity to gain your trust, they won't gain it, and you will continue to feel walled in.

 

[EveHarrington]

There’s nothing wrong with taking a break from relationships.