ED Ptsd & eating disorders

[poeticprincess88]

So I've struggled with an eating disorder since I was a teenager. I believe a lot of it had to do with the abuse I endured. Even now I know that when I'm around my family it triggers my eating disorder. I know it has to do with my PTSD.

My counselor has been working with me on EFT. He doesn't focus so much on the eating disorder. He actually believes that if we settle the past and trauma related issues the eating disorder symptoms will decrease or stop.

EFT has been a very great tool for me to help overcome some of the trauma related anxiety I have in every day life.

I had some trauma around food growing up. I recently tried to go to treatment for my eating disorder. They said that I had to learn to change my behaviors first then deal with the past. Of course they didn't believe my about my trauma. Sometimes doctors look at people relate it to their research. They quote research to people. The treatment ended up not working out for me. I am home now working on stuff with my regular treatment team.


Anyone have a similar experience or can relate? Do you have an eating disorder or maybe another addiction that's kind of fueled from your trauma?

 

[Abstract]

Hi PP,

I had an ED for almost 30 years and yes I believe it was very linked to trauma. I am assuming what was quoted to you was the Maudsley Approach.

I have seen many different reactions or combination of reactions over the years from people but do think there are certain key things that never work and some that are always necessary for full recovery. What never works is to think that dealing with the trauma alone will magic the ED away. Once unhealthy coping methods become entrenched then they do not go away by themselves. They may reduce a lot but as soon as life gets a little tricky up they come as that is the way your brain has been trained to work. Fair weather recovery isn't recovery. What always does work is to work on stopping behaviours and replacing them with healthy coping. That can be whilst dealing with underlying causes or before and depending on the person. I agree that when it is trauma related the only way to get to full deep emotional recovery is to deal with trauma.

I personally do not agree with Maudsley for my own experience. Just changing the behaviours just papers over the cracks. It was by dealing with the deep feelings around the old hurts plus stopping behaviours that I got better. I think Maudlsey as a solution is more suitable for the very young or those ED's that are very simple and not trauma related.

Stopping behaviours is never easy though. There is no short cut or magic solution.

The other reason they like doing it before dealing with the trauma is the following: ED's are ways of dealing with emotion and overwhelm. They become deeply entrenched ways of coping. When we start dealing with trauma our emotions and overwhelm increases drastically. That can be very dangerous for someone with an ed as symptoms can get severe and stop treatment or cause serious health concerns. I know many people with severe chronic Ed's that have stopped behaviours and needed to stop behaviours before dealing with the severe trauma they have experienced.

Ed's are also a little like drugs in that they hide real feelings and issues. So having trauma T without actively stopping behaviours can distort what one is really dealing with. Ones personality and everything is different without behaviours. Drug treatment requires that the person is sober and there is much in that that is relevant for ED's in the longer term.

This is my advise to you and from someone who wasted too much of her life and health to ED: do whatever you can to learn new ways of coping and stop behaviours. It is not easy but it can be done and you can do it. You can do this whilst dealing with your trauma and the EFT.

I am very very happy and relieved to at last be ED free after so long. :) I still have my worst traumas to deal with but feel fairly well prepared I guess. :(

Feel free to ask me anything you want if you wish.

 

[Whirlwind]

I think Abstract nailed it.

My ED was unrecognized for most of my life, and it kind of disappeared for decades. It resurfaced with a vengeance and I think now it was a early warning sign for my PTSD starting.

The T helped me realize it was a response...a way of calming myself. I learned the reason/signs it was coming and tried to bypass the storm, head it off before it was too late.

I have control for now, it isn't a problem but I do not fool myself that it isn't potentially lurking. But today I have a plan of action if I feel the urge.

Ed's are also a little like drugs in that they hide real feelings and issues.

Isn't that the truth. My ED was absolutely related to my trauma and exactly what Abstract says. I ignored my trauma but my body wouldn't.

I feel good about my ED today, I know it, I recognize it, I feel empathy for my poor body and have solutions for combating the urge. I have better mechanisms. So far so good!

((poeticprincess88)), Whirlwind

 

[Whirlwind]

Once unhealthy coping methods become entrenched then they do not go away by themselves. They may reduce a lot but as soon as life gets a little tricky up they come as that is the way your brain has been trained to work. Fair weather recovery isn't recovery. What always does work is to work on stopping behaviours and replacing them with healthy coping.

I just had to quote this, again, so well put. My experience exactly, I thought I had it under control but I didn't, I just didn't need it at the time.

Harsh learning lesson, but a valuable one.

 

[MissUnfortunate_1999]

Hi ya I'm quite new to this forum and I'm desperate to find out if anyone has ever suffered from over eating as a result of sexual abuse? I was raped and sexually abused from the age of 13, and since then I have an unhealthy relationship with food. As soon as I get a compliment or start to feel I feel the urge to eat in order to hate myself and make myself unattractive :-( it's getting worse and it annoys me that this still affects me. Does anyone else have the same issue or any advice? Xxx

 

[saffy]

Hi Missunfortunate
I had something similar going on when I was younger. What I discovered was that I was trying to make myself unappealing to the opposite sex. I have not been able to deal with relationships and or advances by men, so I thought if I make myself unappealing they will not bother me then I will not feel threatened or out of control. if that makes sense.

I was trying to metamorph myself into someone other that me but in the wrong way. I blamed myself and felt ashamed of my past abuse. If I was stronger, If this, if that. I 'm trying to change in the right way now and am learning to be more assertive as a means of coping rather that what I was doing.

Hope that makes sense,
Best wishes
Saffy

 

[piratelady]

MissUnfortunate: I have a very unhealthy relationship with food. I tend to go between under-eating and over-eating. When I was younger my mother would constantly get on me about my weight and my measurements. She would take my measurements and then tell me to go do sit-ups so I could take a few inches off my waist and be "perfect".

After I was raped for the first time, and throughout my abusive marriage, I did the opposite - I overate A LOT and gained about 50 lbs. It is one of the things I turn to when I'm stressed. I have such mixed feelings about it, I hate how I look, but I do wonder if I lost the weight what the consequences would be. My hope is that as I work through the trauma, my fear (if that's the right word) will start to go away and I will feel more comfortable in a smaller body.

I agree with what Abstract said about unhealthy coping mechanisms getting entrenched. I have a few unhealthy ones. I've found that if I find a different way to cope, it is easier for me to eat a smaller amount of food, so I can lose some of this excess weight. Perhaps as we learn more healthy ways to deal with feelings to need to under or overeat will begin to go away. I don't really know though.

 

[MissUnfortunate_1999]

Thanks Saffy, that is exactly how I feel and you have put it in such a good way. I'm just so fed up that I still do this. I only realised I do this recently and even more recently want to change my habits with food. I just don't know how :-( I'm seeing my therapist for the 2nd time on Saturday so I'm hoping she will be able to give me some guidance. At the moment I feel like I don't deserve to look nice. Have u done anything to help with your habits? Xxx

 

[MissUnfortunate_1999]

Hi Piratelady, I just get so frustrated that I do this. It's only after I've eaten everything that I realise what I've done. It doesn't even register at the time. I eat so much sometimes I'm actually sick. I also feel like that because I'm very overweight I'm still a product of what happened to me. It's like the people who did what they did are still around.
Thank you for your support, any advice is very very welcome :-) xxx

 

[piratelady]

I was once told to be mindful of what I am eating and when. When you feel the need to eat, stop and assess if you are in fact hungry. If you aren't and you are eating for emotional reasons, then you should actually journal or do something to deal with those feelings and/or take a walk or do some form of exercise. That is supposed to help with emotional eating.

I tend to do the same thing - eat an bunch of unhealthy food, and when I'm done, I just feel sick and think, "oh gosh, what I have I done." I beat myself up for over-eating, which makes me feel bad and just creates a vicious cycle.

 

[saffy]

HI Miss1999

Yes, here goes, and it's taken a long time and a lot of self doubt, self loathing and self abuse as well as perseverence to get this far but it gets easier everyday.

I control my diet now and have learnt how to be more assertive and be able to say what I need to, before anthing gets out of hand. I have also learnt that I haave the right to be treated with respect and the right to tell someone that they are not treating me like I wish. NOW I do not think I deserve to be treated badly, the opposite infact.

I tell myself everyday and everytime I go out that I am a human the same as them and I would not treat them like it so why should I allow them to treat me badly. I make sure I do not drink as much when I go out as this had a massive effect on my thnking and behaviour. One person was honest enough to me to say they hated it when I was drinking, I was a horrible highly strung and unpredictable drunk. I thought I was the opposite. GOes to show.

I now feel more in control of what happens as I am there in the moment without turning things on myself and worrying because I can see things more realistically. Now I am more in control I can feel safer looking good and so this feed my eating habits. I want to look good now, I want to look like a woman. I also dressed very tomboyish for the same reason as above.

I do keep my gaurd and really have to remind myself my mantras if I start to slip. I also ask myself if I am being rational, if I still doubt what might happen as I cannot read the sides I make my excuses and leave to where I feel safe again. I am getting strong again and more in control at least.

I slip yes, but I am not perfect and nor is anyone else ;)

Best wishes
Saffy

Ps I just googled, how to be more assertive and found a site that I could understand. It has helped and it was free so I had nothing to loose by trying :)

 

[saffy]

If you aren't and you are eating for emotional reasons, then you should actually journal or do something to deal with those feelings

I always get really frustrated when they say this as it is not getting to the bottom of the problem it is making you think of something else for a while adn do something other than eating, but the reason is still there. Don't you agree?

The reason for mine was that I wanted to be unappealing to men. I discovered why and dealt with that and that helped with the eating.

So I guess I had to ask myself what the sole purpose of eating more, what was I trying to gain or do and why? and is there anything else I can do that is more productive and positive than eating ?

Best wishes
Saffy :)