Goingtobemyself
New Here
Once upon a time... I used to be happy, funny, intelligent, empathic, hardworking, energetic, responsible ... a loving wife and mother of 3 wonderfull children (age 7, 4 and 2,5) Working as a young doctor at a psyciatric ward my life and work.
Last year my life changed, I was assaulted by one of my patients. My colleagues quickly helped me and the situation wasn't lifethreatning. But I gues my body and mind thought so. I had a short sick leave, and then tried to go back to work. But I was a wreck, I was scared, avoiding persons, places and situations that reminded me of the episode. After a month I had a nervous brakedown and was on sick leave for 2 months. I Washington struggeling with guild, feeling worthless and useless and I didn't get any support from my work. I changed workplace, then working as a surgen. I was working hard, feeling that I had to proof that I was worth something. I couldn't do anything but work. When I wasn't working I was sick, or laying in bed, telling my family I was ill, just to get som peace. I really neglected my husband and kids, but I was doing a great job at work.
After a period with very busy shifts and way to many working hours I found myself in a VERY stressfull workingsituation - and then I was back to the time after the asult. I had anxiety, heart palpitations, truble breathing, distress, shaking, nightmares, flashbacks and again feeling,guilty and worthless. Again I had to stop Working very reluctantly.
It has been 6 months now, 4 months ago I was diagnosed with PTSD by my psychiatrist. I have been treated with SE, EMDR, Trauma releasing exercise, psycho therapy, physio therapy.
I have had very good effect from EMDR and I almost have no flashbacks or nightmares anymore. I am still very tense, very tired, feeling emotionally and physically exausted, still avoiding situations that remind me of the episodes, I get very easily stressed and somme days I can't even get out og bed. It is hard for me to be with my kids - I am so sensible to even small conflicts, and noice. I suddenly have a bad temper and problems with even simple daily chores. I don't remember what I read and I can't even concentrate on baking a cake. I feel so bad for my family.
How could I end up here? I haven't been to war, been raped or abused, or a victim of disaster. So many people have experienced a lot worse. I have had a secure childhood without trauma, and it makes me feel so wrong for not beeing able to pull myself together.....
I find it very hard to talk about all that has hapend and how I feel, but at the same time I feel very alone. I am gratefull for this forum and for everyone that has used time to read this. I am sorry for the spelling - I am not used to writhing or expressing myself in english.
Notmyselfanymore
Last year my life changed, I was assaulted by one of my patients. My colleagues quickly helped me and the situation wasn't lifethreatning. But I gues my body and mind thought so. I had a short sick leave, and then tried to go back to work. But I was a wreck, I was scared, avoiding persons, places and situations that reminded me of the episode. After a month I had a nervous brakedown and was on sick leave for 2 months. I Washington struggeling with guild, feeling worthless and useless and I didn't get any support from my work. I changed workplace, then working as a surgen. I was working hard, feeling that I had to proof that I was worth something. I couldn't do anything but work. When I wasn't working I was sick, or laying in bed, telling my family I was ill, just to get som peace. I really neglected my husband and kids, but I was doing a great job at work.
After a period with very busy shifts and way to many working hours I found myself in a VERY stressfull workingsituation - and then I was back to the time after the asult. I had anxiety, heart palpitations, truble breathing, distress, shaking, nightmares, flashbacks and again feeling,guilty and worthless. Again I had to stop Working very reluctantly.
It has been 6 months now, 4 months ago I was diagnosed with PTSD by my psychiatrist. I have been treated with SE, EMDR, Trauma releasing exercise, psycho therapy, physio therapy.
I have had very good effect from EMDR and I almost have no flashbacks or nightmares anymore. I am still very tense, very tired, feeling emotionally and physically exausted, still avoiding situations that remind me of the episodes, I get very easily stressed and somme days I can't even get out og bed. It is hard for me to be with my kids - I am so sensible to even small conflicts, and noice. I suddenly have a bad temper and problems with even simple daily chores. I don't remember what I read and I can't even concentrate on baking a cake. I feel so bad for my family.
How could I end up here? I haven't been to war, been raped or abused, or a victim of disaster. So many people have experienced a lot worse. I have had a secure childhood without trauma, and it makes me feel so wrong for not beeing able to pull myself together.....
I find it very hard to talk about all that has hapend and how I feel, but at the same time I feel very alone. I am gratefull for this forum and for everyone that has used time to read this. I am sorry for the spelling - I am not used to writhing or expressing myself in english.
Notmyselfanymore
