Ptsd Has Raised His Dirty Head Again!

[Jimmy1]

Welcome Kenneth,
I know how you're feeling. My (soon to be ex) wife is prior military, but never deployed. She just cant understand and thinks I'm using it as a crutch too. Shoot, i dont understand.

Mate, divorce/separation is a hard one. I went through it and did not think I was going to survive, but I did. As for understanding it, some people don't want to understand it, it's just too hard for them. For others, well they might be selfish and want all the attention focused on them.

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Read these three article mate, they will give you a heads up.

I'm pretty sure everyone on here is the kind of guy that took everything that was thrown at them for a long time and never blinked. Then, one day it hits and you are no longer completely in control of everything.

Your spot on there mate. When I got home in 06 my life and career started its slow spiral out of control. I tried to hang onto it by controlling those things closest, my relationship, and even became a pain in the arse at work as I was a Warrant Officer. Then eventually I could not even handle going anywhere near the base, and was placed on medical leave.

You do get that control back though mate, and you will be able to manage your life.

I just wish I could stop my damned hand from shaking. It freaks people out.

The hand shaking can be from medication, a psychological problem, or even a physical problem as a result of a blast etc. But don't worry about what everyone else says mate, don't worry about the stares. It's just different like a soldier with a limb or multiple limbs missing.

We are here for you mate.

Jimmy

 

[JarHed]

Hey Stuart

Some people just don't want to try and understand, sad but true.

Then there's the control issue. Control is a concept that we create in our own minds. We need to feel that way to do our jobs in combat, no doubt about that. Truth is, it's just an illusion and it can go up in a wisp of smoke in a second. Once you realize that you're not and can't be in control of everything, it does go a lot better.

I'm probably like many here; a control freak, gotta' do it all myself, I can take it, just another hill to hump, ect. Sound familiar. Probably.

It's already been said and much more clearly by Anthony, Jimmy and others as well that we were trained to be the way we are. Good Soldiers all. That was fine for what we had to do but not for living in the rest of society. That's part of where the PTSD plays it's part.

This may even sound dumb or stupid but we're the fortunate ones. Not that we have PTSD but that we're willing to admit to having a problem and wanting to do something about it. Think of all the unfortunate people who won't, or can't and will suffer terribly for that.

You may feel bad now, but with time it can and does get better. You've gotta' do the work though. If you made it through the war and all that threw at you, you can do this too. Hang in there, and if I've forgotten; Welcome to the forums and glad you found us.

Jar

 

[Zipperhead]

Some people just don't want to try and understand, sad but true.

If they understood, then they would understand that it could happen to them. Not something they want to think about. Easier to bury head in sand and ignore reality.

 

[Ross McCook]

I'm in the same boat without a paddle. I am pushing everyone that is close to me away, because they don't understand and it feels like they don't care. I have become very distrustful with my wife and its for no reason at all. I can't seem to get a handle on it and its ruining my marriage. I know deep down she loves me, but some of the things she says to me is hurtful. I just want to be happy again and live the family life that I never had. Life isn't far sometimes and it sucks that I have to live with this. Not to mention putting my family through it and s screwing everything up.

 

[Jimmy1]

Ross, we have all been in that boat and have broken all the paddles.

My questions to you are:

Are you getting therapy, and
Are you on medication?

You see, once you are on the right medication it will calm your mind and then you can do the therapy to help work with life.

I still have off days and go on the warpath after my family. It's a hard life and sad state of affairs.
It does get better though.

I know deep down she loves me, but some of the things she says to me is hurtful. [/quote

This is probably her defence mechanism. Put yourself in her shoes.

The good news is that she is still with you, so she does love you.

Make sure she is up to date on PTSD and has an understanding. Let her read through some of the documents above.
It all helps.

Cheers

 

[Marc St-Louis]

Welcome Kenneth, listen to the guys and gals... The beast will always rear it's dirty head but, it does get easier to tame. It's all about taking that first step again and again. Welcome to the fold.