PTSD-Related Stigma - Now What Do I Do?

[cragger65]

Wow, excellent thread. Actually gave me a real lift to read it through to conclusion, thank you. You know, I've had the same experience with everyone in my life, friends/family not knowing what to do, but not really being willing to help or try to understand either. But.... reconnecting with an old friend recently has shown me that, even though the majority of people may not get it, the odd one will. Sounds like your pastor is one of those people.

I can also relate soooooooo much to your feeeling that it's still "all your fault". I have this same obsession myself. But it's just twisted thinking. Once you've cracked the ice with the pastor, maybe discussing that aspect of your PTSD with him might shed light on it from another angle. I wish you the best of luck with everything, and hope you will share the outcome with us.

take care,
Dave

 

[blackemerald1]

Question PTSD-Related Stigma - Now What Do I Do?

Hello Still Trying, I too have come up against this stigma but a different situation. You asked, "Now What Do I Do?" I don't believe there is much you can do because the more you try to explain at times, the worse the trauma for you may get.

But, I also think that your actions might open up an opportunity to 'educate' these Pastors by returning to your piano playing at the Church. After all, you loved it, it was certainly appreciated, obviously needed and the piano is now operating correctly.

In their remorse these Pastors might see how brave you really are, and that despite their judgment on you, you still went forward with that broken instrument till it became obvious to even their ignorance of PTSD and pianos, that it was not you, it was the piano. You showed much more faith than they did.

I use the word 'educate' with qualifications here. I think you can show these Pastors that they have gravely misjudged you and in a way, you have challenged them to get some information and understanding of PTSD and at least some of its manifestations.
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The opportunity might arise where you may speak to them again about this issue and should that happen, maybe you could tell them that they should acquaint themselves more on PTSD because well, the world and their congregations are being subjected to a tremendous amount of global, social and interpersonal problems.

There may well be somebody already in their congregation aside from you, who is quietly suffering, agonising over whether to speak to those pastors about their trauma or PTSD. How terrible would it be for those people to be treated in the ignorant way you were.

Being a Pastor, in my opinion, invites people of all types and backgrounds to be gathered. Maybe, this was their wake up call and you inadvertently challenged their knowledge, opinions etc., and not be so judgmental and stigmatise a person with PTSD, but rather, from their experience with you, open up and offer comfort where it is so needed.

Though your own PTSD has been triggered and you have been really hurt. Consider how many people in the future might reach out to these two pastors? They may come to the realisation that they need to know much more about PTSD and their remorse should be channelled into gaining knowledge.

I appreciate how stung you are from their misconceptions of you as a person with PTSD but, if you can, you could be helping to remove that stigma from two people who are at the 'front-line' of a lot of people who go to church for comfort and understanding.

I just think it would be an opportunity if you feel you are able to. But, I also understand if you feel you cannot. I know it is a big ask, and maybe too much right now. Either way, you have been very patient with these Pastors already and hopefully their shame is enough to motivate them.
Go well,
Kind regards
blackemerald1