Ptsd Symptoms Again But What Triggered It?

[falling]

I was diagnosed with PTSD over 10 yrs ago and have been up/down, on/off with symptoms and anti-d's even since. But I'm at the bottom again right now feeling all the sick, ugly, cold symptoms of PTSD but I don't know why. I can't figure out why I am am so bad again. Can you relapse back into feeling so unemotional, numb and lifeless without a "trigger"? I have been feeling myself fighting depression for a long time now. I was on Cipralex but it wasn't helping so I stopped taking it. Then my grandfather died and I recently broke up with my bf(who I was living with but moved out). Work is very busy and I'm a single parent so I'm pretty exhausted but I go through the motions of life and even though I feel like a robot I get out there and do my job. I just don't feel anything. I'm not motivated, I just dont care. BUT I recently realized I feel just like I did yrs ago when I was very depressed with PTSD. I just am so confused as to how/why I'm back there again.

My bf and I are going to couples counseling trying to save our relationship and during those sessions I realized I simply don't care if we (my bf and I ) make it or not. Even though I want that 'family' life he's fighting for. I want it but I just sit there is the chair (during counseling) letting him do all the work. I am letting it fall apart, I'm letting him walk away cause I'm not willing to fight for us even though I wan it. That's when I realized how bad I am again. So today I went to the doc to get rxn for Effexor. It helped me so much yrs ago so I guess I'll have to try it again.

Anyways, I'm just confused and mad and sad about why I'm feeling this way again-WHAT'S the cause. When I was this bad before the cause was obvious-I was drugged and raped but now---WHY? WHY am I feeling so blah, numb, cold, unemotional again???WHY? How am I suppose to fix it if I don't know why I'm like this again?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Your stress cup is overflowing? I think that's enough to cause a relapse in symptoms. Normal stressors to other people have the potential to push us over the edge because we have a lower stress tolerance. Perhaps it would be more helpful to view PTSD in the sense of remission rather than cured----as in, it can flare up again even though we were doing well for awhile.

 

[heidi]

I found it interesting that you said in your introduction that you feel you have dealt with the trauma and don't have difficulty thinking about it. I wonder is it possible to have PTSD without having problems thinking about the trauma? Anybody know?

 

[Flyaway]

Check your other post for my answer

 

[cdg]

The Stress cup is like a light bulb that can lead you to recovery. It helps you to not trip over your own feet.

 

[Britt.f7]

You have a lot of things going on. I know mine came back with severe depression after the death of my mother and her friend. Get some help on an individual basis, before things get much worse. That way you can make a sound decision on the relationship. Hard to fight for anything when you are depressed.