Pulled From Anger Management Group This Evening

[thomas.robinson.54966]

Flowers came to her house today. Not even a thanks. I don't know what to do. I can't get my self to turn back in the engagement rig that is in layaway. I paid $100 more on it today and she is gone.

 

[OldDoorGunner]

That's how I try to operate most of the time. I compartmentalize; I stuff the beast down into a tiny box somewhere inside myself. Then he'll come bursting out an hour later, a day later, a week later, a month later, whatever. It's not working the way I want it to, and I have some bizarre triggers--many of which I have not fully identified. For the first time, I feel like I want to face the music, I just don't know how.

Raven, this is just a guess on my part. I think you are fighting the Beast, it does not like being put in a box or told what to do for the most part. In a since you are just feeding it......The Beast was in control when we needed it, so it wants to stay in control, it was it's full time job. So now we/you want to fire it from it's job, not going to happen....In doing it's job, it became a part of us, it's part of who and what we are. But we can move it to a part time job.....

For the first time, I feel like I want to face the music, I just don't know how.

Sounds to me like you just started......Start out with the small things, maybe something you thought you had worked out and look it over and see if you had it worked out. (If not work on it) After that move to the next small thing and work on it. Accept the fact that you can not fight the Beast and win. If you run into a hard place, ask us a question(s) about it, I am 100% sure that one of our Brothers and Sisters will have an answer and will help you out of the "Mind" field......

J R

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

I understand that completely

 

[Sarg]

I think long ago, I likened it to shoving the beast down in a Mason jar and screwing the lid closed. Many of us Nam Vets had to do that to exist. The VA was fighting giving us a thin dime, we had wives and children and homes and cars and we had no choice. We had to "suck it up" and work through it. In retrospect, I think it galvanized us to carry the beast forever, using whatever worked for us at the time, thus alcohol for me.

In freezing it place like that, we do get better with good treatment, but not a lot and not for long. There is a much better chance for our younger folks. For one thing we know what the hell it is. We know a better spectrum of meds to treat it with. And the outcome is more favorable jumping on it right when they get back.

Some say we "forged the trail" for PTSD diagnosis and treatment. I only know it hurts, still, and probably always will.

Sarg

 

[dutchiedelta]

Respect Sarg.

It's been a long battle to get recognition.
First it was war fatigue, then shellshock.
It goes back to written history of the Romans who described how suddenly warriors just... couldn't keep it in anymore.

I absolutely hated the early 90s when everybody was diagnosed as borderliner.
Kiss my shiny white feet, I knew I wasn't a borderliner.

It was a long road to PTSD and I go mental anytime someone says one of the ten things not to say to someone with PTSD. Can't post a link but you know the pic.

So respect to you and your generation.