Purple Heart Recipient

[sirsir]

I went to Shasta Caverans today. The kids loved it. We were lucky to be the first tour of the day. therefore it was just the guide and the family.:clap: I did not have to deal with any triggers. The guide was great softly spoken and a great sence of humor. The view was incredible at the top of the mountain. I went out to lunch and it was great. I actually saw manners in northern CA. WOW I miss the deep south. I got to get some exercise and enjoy the fresh air. Peace for now.

 

[sirsir]

I got to meet some new people today. My wife set up the discussion group. I enjoyed myself. We talked about religion. My leg with the shrapnel hurts today. I must have over done it yesterday. I still had a good day. Peace for now.

 

[sirsir]

Today I'm in a mood. I'm at home alone and I've been writing about the War. I am forcing myself to get this stuff out but my day suffers for it. I have the day off so at least I am not taking the anger to work. Peace for Now.

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

Congrats on making it through another day without flying off the hook. I know what that feels like. I also snap when someone grabs or touches me. Yesterday, at a local seafood restaurant, in fact, a server came out of a hidden hallway too quickly with a huge tray and startled my dog. I stepped backwards and another server tried to catch me before I fell. An exaggerated startle response and probably a scream later, my dog and I ended up in a heap of yummy seafood (much to my dog's delight). It was quite the entertainment for the restaurant as I'm sure you can imagine.

 

[sirsir]

Thank you Nomad
Today I named my boat. I bought it at the beginning of the summer and have been on the water about once every two weeks. I have not caught a fish all summer but I did have alot of fun. Hopefully naming the boat will help my fishing luck. I named it Georgia. I have to get a smaller paint brush to fix my messy stensiling. I painted the letters in red. I'm going to outline them in Gold. I used an oil base paint that I had to clean up with gas because I did not have mineral spirits. Today was a good day. Peace for now.:hello:

 

[sirsir]

What a day

The last few days have been long, but today OMG. I started the day off with 5 hours of sleep. I got to work I had a new group of staff I needed to train which I normally enjoy. Today it just grated on my nerves. I have one staff refuse one of my orders. I had one bi-polar staff have a heavy moody swing and started to question why and how I was doing my job. I almost lost it with this one. I caught myself before I cursed the staff out. Then someone told me that I could not do something. After I stopped laughing at them I kicked them out of my office. Then to wrap up the day the bi-polar staff called me on the phone and asked me to have a drink and talk about the day. UGH Better luck tomorrow. peace

 

[sirsir]

I got 4 hours of sleep last night. I was walking around like a zomby at work. the sleep medications were still in my system at work. I did not start feeling human until about noon. After work I went to a play that my kids were playing. The kids were great but the gym it was put on in was driving me crazy. To many strangers and they were way to close to me. I could only sit through one preformance. Too many people and I had to leave my gun home because it was on school property.

 

[sirsir]

Finally some sleep.

Last night I finally got some rest. The day is early but I plan to do a oil change in the small car and visit some friends this evening. My wife went to get some shopping done. I got a break today.

 

[sirsir]

Well today at my friends house, we got into a heated debate about churches. I love a good debate as long as no one touches me. I had fun but I believe that I might have offended some friends. Oh well did I mention that I hate to lose anything. I'll find out later if I still have these friends.:dontknow:

 

[sirsir]

First day of Treatment.

I had a pre-meeting with my Dr. to up my meds. At the end of the meeting she told me that if I feel overwhelmed after my next meeting to ask for something to calm me down. Well the next meeting I spent and hour and a half explaining my PTSD symptions. Which goes into war stories and why I distrust most humans. By the end of the talk I was drained and mad. Hopefully the next meeting will go better. At the end of the meeting she told me that I have anger and agression issues. The alot of goofy chemials balance stuff. She asked me to come back tomorrow. I told her I would be back in a week. I'm not in the mood to re-live todays conversation tomorrow. Oh well better luck next time.

 

[DuckButter]

I was a Marine during the first Gulf War. I am a purple heart recipant. I just started trying to come to terms with ptsd. I have put treatment off for many many years because I do not like talking about my feelings and I do not like medication. However I am getting so aggressive that I can bearly control my physical anger. I will be trying to get some advise and insight into my issues through this forum. :hello:

I call that point of aggression the killswitch, where everything stops and the anger takes over, and you don't care what you do, you just need to explode and break something. I get that all the time. I especially have a hard time with it around my kid. I don't want her to think her dad is a mean person. I just absolutely feel like choking idiots all the time.

 

[midi]

you can only do what you can handle, and if that means waiting even another month, then yeah....

one of the things i have trouble with is that anger--it comes out of nowhere, all of a sudden, and you can't stop it. i try, really, but nothing works.