Question for sufferers...

[EveHarrington]

I know everyone is different but I just thought when I read this..hmm can anxiety be everyday for w...

Are you doubting this can be true?

I think that if "supporters" doubt that we can have constant long lasting high anxiety, then there's no hope for the rest of the world ever understanding in the least.

High anxiety is the crux of PTSD for many of us. I hope you take the time to educate yourself about PTSD symptoms.

 

[EveHarrington]

"Do you still love me?"

Versus

"Did you eat breakfast?"

Yeah-----

The first could cause me to shut out the person for good for asking such a dumb question and the second wouldn't stress me in the least (as I don't have food issues).

 

[aut555]

You can simply be in denial about text. Like l don't really see it, so l don't need to answer your text. If you start dwelling on what is and isn't answered you will float away. Just be realistic that he has good days and bad days or not so bad days. It's not a reflection on you by any means.

 

[Friday]

..hmm can anxiety be everyday for weeks? Is that what some sufferers go through? Extreme anxiety every day and that causes isolations?

Of course.

That whole icewater for blood, & too shaky to drive, & your heart pounding in your ears ...after narrowly missing being in a car wreck (or kid runs out into the street, or whatever)? That's just the beginning of it. Ever been so deeply disgusted you've puked? (Being cheated on, is a common one), or running / so far overextended yourself in exercise that you're puking? Muscles shaking, metal in your mouth, just need to lay down on a cold surface and try and catch your breath, but you can't? Heart banging away at 140bpm still desperately trying to get blood to muscles you aren't using, gasping for air that just isn't working? Or so enraged you can't see, can't think, can't control yourself? Tears of frustration, tears of rage. So scared you've peed your pants?

Severe Anxiety does all of that ^^^ and more. (That's not even at panic attack levels, just humdrum anxiety running hot.) It's fawking exhausting, and makes the business of normal living extremely difficult.

And, yes. It easily lasts for weeks at that level. And months. And longer.

Imagine trying to have a conversation while you're still laying on the gym floor feeling like your heart is going to explode out of your chest, jaw shaking, muscles feeling like they won't support you (and won't, that's why you're laying on the floor). Or trying to read & make sense of something while you're busy puking your guts out.

It's not easy.

Understatement.

 

[aut555]

I was on meds for my anxiety at one point.

 

[BrokenWoman]

Thank you so much @Friday for that. It's really so helpful and helps me to understand from a sufferers point of view things that I can't possibly know. It helps me learn and gives me a small glimpse to understanding. Thank you for taking the time to respond!

 

[Jillyfromtheblock]

I do have anxiety (have had pretty much my whole life since I was a teen), and was on meds for the last 6 years. They didn't take the symptoms away completely, but were a big help. I recently dosed off of them thinking maybe I can deal with the crushing weight in my chest on my own (breathing exercises, meditation). I dosed off right before I met my sufferer & right now my meds are starting to look very attractive to me again....

The one good thing about my having anxiety though is that I have an inkling of what he's going through. It makes me able to empathize better, not judge, not be angry at his actions and try to be more patient. I KNOW that what is happening to him is beyond his control. It doesn't necessarily make the waiting any easier. But normally I have a natural tendency to get hurt or angry when I think my needs aren't being met & in this situation that has softened significantly because of the circumstances and the fact that I understand it's out of his control.

 

[aut555]

Funny, we have to walk the path of pain to get other people's pain. But this is so true .

 

[Jillyfromtheblock]

Today he responded to 2 texts, one about how he's feeling and another about how his friend, who's in the hospital, is doing. I'm very new to the whole PTSD experience, but the fact that he's responding to ANYTHING, I choose to see as a positive, and that he does still care about me. I also asked if he will let me know when he's feeling better and he ignored that. I'm kind of starting to see a pattern in the questions he will and won't answer. Simple questions that won't go anywhere he tends to answer. Anything future-related or that might open up more questions he will ignore completely. So.... I'm gonna stick to the simple stuff or just make statements letting him know I'm thinking about him. Until he's feeling better and he's ready to start talking again.

 

[scout86]

The future is tricky. When you read up on PTSD, something that gets mentioned is that not exactly believing in "a future" is pretty common. For me, being asked to make promises about something I'm not sure of and it's out of my control is a HUGE problem. I won't do it. Feels like lying. No making promise I'm not sure I can keep. And it bothers me to be asked that kind of stuff. Some days it's easier to remember this is different for different people than it is on other days. Not saying it's the same for him, just an observation.

 

[Jillyfromtheblock]

For me, being asked to make promises about something I'm not sure of and it's out of my control is a HUGE problem. I won't do it. Feels like lying. No making promise I'm not sure I can keep. And it bothers me to be asked that kind of stuff.

Some days he'll answer these questions and some days no. I think the way to go is probably just avoid those questions altogether, give up trying to control everything so much, 'go with the flow' and enjoy what I have with him when I have it. I think that's sometimes easier said than done, especially for someone like me, who deals with anxiety on the daily, but I'm growing a little, day by day and trying not to sweat the small stuff so much. :)

 

[scout86]

Again, I can only speak for my own situation. What makes a person seem 'safe', to me, is getting to the point where they seem to be predictable and they seem to be willing to accept me as I am in the moment, even if they don't understand it. Not try to change, not ask for explanations, just accept. Personally, as long as they don't blow up and tell me I'm 'wrong', I WANT to know how they're thinking in feeling. Best case, if I was involved with someone who had anxiety issues, I'd WANT to know how my behavior affected them. Probably not when it seemed like the rest of the world was falling apart, but I'd WANT to be able to talk about this stuff when the stress level is low. And then to make plans for what would work when the stress level isn't low. But, I tend to be willing to deal with stuff that way. Not everyone feels comfortable with that.

But, yeah, avoiding asking for hard to keep promises would be awesome, at least for me. Especially when things aren't good. Which, BTW, doesn't mean that the desire for a future isn't there.

Have you read the "Stress Cup" thing on this site? If you haven't, do a search, you might find it pretty helpful.