Question - not receiving support when depressed

[whiteraven]

I shut down more. Want to quit my meds and quit. Why should I care about me if no one else does[/QUOT...

I absolutely understand this. I'm sorry you feel this way, too. It's a horrible feeling.

 

[Friday]

I tend to do the holed up & hurting thing when I'm doing badly. When I'm telling people I'm depressed & edgy it's a warning I'm going to not be around much, or if I am, a bit erratic/inconsistent, rather than wanting them to glue themselves to me. If I'm actually able to be talking about the dark, connecting with people, etc. I'm not that bad. With me it's the silence, not when I'm sticking my neck out, that's ... When I need help. Bit of a catch22, but c'est la vie. Course, the flipside of that is that it's also when I'm least likely to be able to accept any kind of help. It's really not until I'm doing crazy better and can actually formulate a plan (what would help, etc.) & follow through, that I start talking with people.

It's a need/want kind of thing. If I need help? I don't say jack shit. If I want it? Then not getting it, isn't such a big deal.

 

[Abbii]

No way around the fact depressions sucks. I hope you find some support, believe me I know its hard to go it alone.

 

[NatBird]

@Snowflake I am hoping each day you find just that thing you need to keep going and the feelings and thought ease soon.

 

[Kopykat]

When you let others know that your depressed/suicidal thoughts and need support whether in person or...

It feels terrible and like I am truly alone, and then at the time I am preparing myself for how to survive without anyone else. I'm actually struggling with this somewhat now.

 

[Snowflake]

@Snowflake I am hoping each day you find just that thing you need to keep going and...

Thank you -me too

 

[EmmaOwl]

I wasn't a candidate because of multiple traumas, and I wasn't about to try

Yeah. I was hesitant about this also, & I got kicked out of EMDR when I couldn't think up a "safe place".
NO, I was not really kicked out! But it's not a catch-all solution. For me, it was an experiment that didn't work out. Talk therapy has been much more helpful. My therapist is extremely supportive.

when he doesn't respond and I know he's not on vacation - like the last two weeks - I get crazy.

Me too. I probably depend on my guy too much. I don't have many 'real' people in my life and that leaves me feeling like this:

Why should I care about me if no one else does

Which is a crappy way to go through life but sometimes it's all negative in my mind. Why EMDR has not worked out for me - I can always find something wrong with a theoretical safe place. My favorite favorite place, it turns out that I remembered something bad happened there, when I was not more than 2 or 3 years old and that thought is enough to defeat me.

ETA: this does not really answer the OP, sorry.